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$945 pledged of $3,000 goal
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By Tim McGahren
$945 pledged of $3,000 goal
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About this project

The burning question that has been on everyone's mind as of late, 'Where can I find beautiful high quality smothering pillows?' has finally been answered. Answered by one of Doily Village's own indentured servants and mind slaves, Tim McGahren. 

Doily Village, a Subsidiary of Industrial Foods Co. is now calling for your help in making this dreamy dream of soft and supple Smothering Pillows a reality. We want to spread the love of our smothering pillows to faces all across the world, and hear muffled cheers of joy. 

Smothering Pillows (Pat. Pending) are quaint and novel devices which serve as subtle warnings to family members who have a tendency to act up and out. Embroidered on the front with the words 'Smothering Pillows' framed by flowers, and on the rear with messages of the toughest love, like 'Stop Struggling', 'It's for the best', 'It Will all be over soon', 'Only Dreams Now', 'No more Tears', 'Shush now' and for southerners; 'Bless your heart'. We will also take suggestions for other pillows, and as rewards for special sweeties, allow them the choice of available embroidered messages. 

Although you have seen the prototypes in the video, we would like to increase the quaintness and mawkishness of the pillows through careful redesign of the embroidery. We will also select a fabric which will not only be soft to the touch and which can shape to the contours of the human face, but one which will be firm enough so the wielder's hands will not be dislodged by flailing limbs. A substantial portion of the funds will go to producing the first run, marketing and legal representation. 

There are also negligible items we need to pay for, such as packaging and of course the attachment of disclaimer tags which state 'For entertainment purposes only, unless you are entertained by smothering, then no.' 

We are asking all interested parties to donate, and in return we offer pillows and other products related to Doily Village and special messages from our indentured mind slave. Of these pillows, the first two will be sent to Amy Sedaris, the goddess we worship in our daily prayer circles in Doily Village.  

Thank you for your interest in this product and we hope to reach and perhaps exceed our goal. If we do surpass our goal, then we would like to offer some great stretch goals like blanket party blankets and monogrammed chloroform rags. 

Thank you for your support and interest in this project from all of the sweet and unassuming grannies here in Doily Village

Risks and challenges

The main risk and challenge I am dealing with is that I am essentially making something which may may find distasteful in it's soft, supple and quaint dark comedy.

For that I will have to make sure I dot my t's and cross my i's and make sure everything is in place so this is considered only what it is, a novelty joke item.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $1 or more About $1.00

    Our thanks, you will also be added to the backdrop of one of Tim's chemically induced nightmares featuring him standing in front of his high school history class wearing only his underwear.

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    Pledge $3 or more About $3

    A Doily Village™ coaster to keep grandma's furniture nice when you are drinking the lemonade she spent her entire day making for you. (A day she will never get back.)

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    Pledge $5 or more About $5

    A Doily Village™ potpourri bag or pine sachet. We will also refrain from praying for you.

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    Pledge $10 or more About $10

    Receive 4 coasters, a sachet, and a Doily Village™ greeting card you can use to softly prod a nearly loved acquaintance to make self improvements in the area of their halitosis or their job performance, which is low.

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    Pledge $25 or more About $25

    You will receive a Doily Village™ frilly change purse, 2 sachets of your choice and 4 coasters.Your home will be brightened immeasurably.

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    Pledge $35 or more About $35

    Our resident grannies will select a high quality smothering pillow for you to be used as a warning to others, and a set of two potpourri or pine scented bags for your car or for your unmentionables drawers.

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    Pledge $40 or more About $40

    Receive one pillow with your choice of colors, size and any text from available selections for the rear of the pillow as well as your choice of a sachet or 4 coasters. We may peek in your windows to make sure you are happy with them (in accordance with state and federal laws).

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    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    Receive one customized pillow as above, AND an adorable kitty-sized smothering pillow for Snoogums in the same style (if so desired).

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    Pledge $75 or more About $75

    Receive 2 pillows in your choice or colors to bookend your couch or to use akimbo against multiple oxygen botherers, 4 coasters and your choice of of 2 sachets or a Doily Village™ change purse. If so desired Tim will also call you and make up unrealistic reasons about why you are so wonderful.

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    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    2 pillows in your choice of colors and sayings from those offered to accent your sunroom or give as gifts, you will also receive a change purse, 4 coasters, and 4 sachets.

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    Pledge $150 or more About $150

    Receive 2 full-sized pillows in your choice of colors, 2 Doily Village™ change purses, 2 tiny cat-sized pillows, 4 sachets for all your drawers, 4 coasters and a call from Tim wherein he sings you a song, tells you a story, or amuses you with his 'jokes'.

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    Pledge $200 or more About $200

    Receive one of the prototypes used for this campaign (and featured in the video), an additional pillow in your choice of colors and available messages for the rear, 2 cat face sized pillows, 2 change purses, sachets(6), coasters(8) and a special unique mystery gift.

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Funding period

- (30 days)