WANNA SMASH TVs AND ANSWERING MACHINES AND CROCKERY AND CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK WITH THRASH METAL, STROBE LIGHTS AND SCREAMING MANIACS?
...of course you do.
You can do this at the Lost Horizon Night Market VERY SOON (official invite imminent). It is a convergence of box trucks somewhere in the city with god-knows-what going on inside them. We'll find out where on Friday or Saturday.
Look, you have issues. We all know this. So before you go doing something to get yourself a small headline in the New York Post, work them out in the Smashtruck's Enclosure of Mayhem, aka the Cathartagon, aka the Chamber of Interpretive Deconstruction.
You will be provided:
- EYE PROTECTION
- An IMPLEMENT (baseball bat, steel pipe, maybe nunchuks)
- Some stuff to SMASH
- Appropriate / Inappropriate SOUNDTRACK
- EMOTIONAL SUPPORT from people ill-equipped to do so
- A BAND-AID if needed
And you will leave with a profound sense of peace.
NEW NEW NEW BACKER INFO!!!!!
$25 PLEDGE GETS CHOICE OF GUARANTEED SMASH (limit 30) OR T-SHIRT!
$50 gets guaranteed smash (something good), soundtrack choice, and t-shirt!
Here's what the market's about if you don't know:
- (7 days)