Also, you will definitely roll your eyes, really hard, at least once.
Have you ever burnt your mouth on frozen pizza? What an existential crisis, am I right? This book is the number one physician-prescribed treatment for that. I'm not aiming for bookstores; I want frozen-food aisles.
No clue what the book is about yet? Me either. Every page is full of word-shaped light bottles. Like hydrogen peroxide for that bothersome scratch on your soul; it's gentle. And it bubbles.
Still nothing? I'm shy, okay? I don't know how to say awesome things about myself. It's a really warm and challenging book. If nothing else, you'll put it down and you'll know in that moment that you too can open your mouth and let little purple turtledoves spill out.
HOW YOU CAN HELP:
For the past YEAR, I've pored over these pages making sure each piece is special and honest and from my heart (and spelled carrectly).
Now I need help to get it printed and into your hungry hands!
GOAL: $6,310 to pay for cover design, professional editing/formatting, printing 500 copies, and shipping up to 300 cold copies all over the world!!
(watch the video for more on that)
Q: So that's the whole plan? Just give away mad books?
A: Don't sound so negative! I happen to like that plan. But no. Once the final cover design and interior formatting are done, the book will be available for purchase online. If the project meets unexpected success, I will definitely increase the number of books I give away. How do I lose if more people get to read my book? Please remind me.
Q: What if you raise like a billion dollars or something?
Don't be ridiculous, Cousin Larry. THIS isn't how I become a billionaire; I haven't even told you about that book yet! If I raise more than my goal, I'm going to give away more books. If I raise a lot more than my goal, I'm going to start working on an interactive iPad version of the book. If I raise boo-gobs and boo-gobs of moneys, I'll use it to take time off to write two other similar books I've already mapped out. (Neither of which is the billion-dollar book...)
Q: Why do you have such high-dollar rewards when the goal amount is relatively small?
A: It's called the power of suggestion. You totally want me to speak to your English class now, don't you?
Q: What's your size? I want to buy you a western shirt.
A: Thanks, but I think that's against the rules. Also, I'm technically an 'extra large and-a-half', so I don't know if your gift would fit. But the western shirts I like cost around $25/piece from a very specific Wal-Mart in central Texas, so why don't you just make a $25 pledge instead??
Q: I watched your video. You're funny. I still don't know what your book is about. Is it fiction or non-fiction?
A: Can't get anything past you, can I? It's fiction. Ninety percent of the book was written when I was between the ages of 19-27, so it's kind of a quarter-life coming-of-age book. All the pieces are inspired by real issues I've faced in the arenas of love, work, faith, sex, purpose, money, family, etc. And they're all about MOMENTS. Very few pieces in the book span much longer than the space of a few minutes. One piece is a 17-page script which follows two strangers as they walk just three blocks! Again, if you pledge $25, you'll GET the book and you can read it for yourself.
Q: I guess what I'm really saying is---will I regret funding your book?
A: No, Dad.
And that's it. You're the best in the world, okay?
Thank you for reading!
I hope you'll help me get to say that more.
(See how I just gave you my last peace sandwich?)