Though you seemed distracted at the time we conducted this interview, you were indeed the one asking the questions, and we were those who remained in darkness, answering with shrouded faces, and sometimes with flowing gestures that approximated words. What follows is the full transcript of our interview...
Q: Have shadowy corporations (with the express purpose of making available Subjects With Objects merchandise) been formed while I have slept?
A: Yes, shadowy corporations (with the express purpose of making available Subjects With Objects merchandise) have been formed while you have slept.
Q: Can you give me an example of the name of one such corporation?
A: The name of one such corporation is "International Conspiracy & Trade Co."
Q: Who formed this shadowy organization?
A: You know I can't tell you that.
Q: Well... where can I learn more about this shadowy International Conspiracy & Trade Co, and sample some of their wares?
A: You cannot learn more about the International Conspiracy & Trade Co. It is not allowed. Quit trying to trick me into telling you something. However, you can sample some of their wares at: www.SubjectsWithObjects.com
Q: What sort of wares does the International Conspiracy & Trade Co. offer at www.SubjectsWithObjects.com?
A: Oh, you know. The full SubWOb family of merchandise: Books. Greeting Cards. Signed & Numbered limited edition fine art prints.
A: In addition to perusing and purchasing SubWOb books, cards, and fine art prints at www.SubjectsWithObjects.com you will also be able to watch enigmatic and conspiratorial videos, delight in dueling twitter feeds from Jonathan Richter and DKM, be riveted by inexplicable SubWOb podcasts (or WOBcasts), and purchase SubWOb original painting & text art pieces. But not yet. At the moment you can only peruse and purchase SubWOb books, cards, and fine art prints at www.SubjectsWithObjects.com
Q: Well why can't I do all those other incredible things yet at www.SubjectsWithObjects.com?
A: Look! We just got the commerce side of the site functional today, so try to be patient, alright? It'll happen. Magically, methodically, week-by-week, things will be added to the site. So just chill, alright? Be thankful for what you've got.
Q: What about t-shirts?
A: What about t-shirts?
Q: Will there be any t-shirts for sale on the site that say "International Conspiracy & Trade Co" on them? I think that would pretty much be the coolest t-shirt logo I could imagine. I would definitely buy one. Probably several.
A: Yes, there will be t-shirts that say "International Conspiracy & Trade Co." on them for sale on the site. But not yet. I mean, consider that it's October 2013 already and we're still trying to get the e-books to work right so we can send those out to all our kickstarter funders.
Q: Some online stores have discount codes. I like those. I like to use them. If I purchase one of the fine, quality products on www.SubjectsWithObjects.com, can I do so with a discount code?
A: There is currently a sale on hardback copies of "Subjects With Objects, Vol I". They are $19.99 marked down from the $24.99 cover price. You do not need a discount code to get this special price. Also, you can purchase a 4-Pack of Subjects With Objects books for a deep, deep discount at $65.00 That's a savings of $34.96 off the cover price. You also do not need a discount code to receive this special pricing.
Q: But I told you that I like discount codes. I like to use them.
A: Fine. Use the discount code "CONSPIRE!" and you get free shipping till Nov. 1st.
[Here the tape machine began to eat the tape during transcribing. The rest of the interview is forever lost in the murky boglands we call "memory."]