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A modern love story about life with chronic illness, pain and depression, beautifully told in pictures.
A modern love story about life with chronic illness, pain and depression, beautifully told in pictures.
A modern love story about life with chronic illness, pain and depression, beautifully told in pictures.
202 backers pledged £9,827 to help bring this project to life.

About

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Look, I'm wearing all the colours - a photobook

£9,827

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Look, I'm wearing all the colours is an intensely intimate visual exploration of a relationship lived with invisible illness as a third person. It explores my journey as both husband and photographer trying to understand my wife’s illness. It is a love story full of dignity, empathy and passion.

I started photographing Zara in the first throes of our romance. Images of eating, sleeping, kissing, laughing and nights out were soon joined by images of flare-ups, bruising, tears and hospital visits. Zara has fibromyalgia, hypermobility, OCD and depression - conditions causing her constant pain, both physically and mentally. They lead to life often feeling like it lacks cohesion and order - they can be overwhelming. I soon learned that this was something we were both going through, and I needed to make sense of our day-to-day life. 

Taking these photographs allowed me to look back and reflect on our life within and around these conditions, and captures how I cope with them as a husband. This book gives all three entities in the relationship a voice.

The sequencing of the book takes the reader into our world and through the rollercoaster of emotions using a range of photographic approaches, including portraits, still life and snapshots. 

This project has been 13 years in the making and your support will help realise my dream of publishing this book. I believe that storytelling can help drive social change and by showing the often unseen aspects of life with invisible illness, I hope to raise awareness and eliminate stigma.

Sequencing the first draft of the book in our bedroom, June 2017
Sequencing the first draft of the book in our bedroom, June 2017

You can support this project by buying one of the rewards, including copies of the book, signed postcards, limited edition prints, photography lessons, portrait sessions and more. NEW REWARDS (added 24 May) include Tintype Portrait (like these) and Cinnamon Buns (Zara's favourites). I would also really appreciate your help in sharing this campaign far and wide on social media.

In 2018 the proof copy of Look, I’m wearing all the colours was nominated for MACK's First Book Award (by Anna Clarén). In 2017 it was exhibited as part of SICK - Living with Invisible Illness (UK) and I also spoke about the project at the Spegla Photo Festival (Sweden) and at the London Institute of Photography. 

UPDATE 29th MAY 2018: Recent press coverage includes Feature Shoot, an interview with London based organisation Fragmentary and a feature on the Russian online magazine Bird in Flight.

“There is a spread in the book featuring a hospital corridor that you can never leave and a silhouette of the photographer behind a window. This is about the man, the photographer who is telling us this story. It tells us that he is tired, feeling trapped by his wife’s illness. That he is afraid of not having the strength. He wonders where he fits into all of this. But he knows there is no return. He loves her and will never let her go.” Anna Clarén, photographer

Press and articles
Press and articles
Project featured on BBC News
Project featured on BBC News

“Throughout, the book is loving, gripping and tender. It looks more than just good - some images are magnificent! They offer an insight into this difficult illness.”  Anders Petersen, photographer

Despite the increased awareness about mental health and certain conditions, many people living with invisible illnesses often face mistrust. A common challenge is doubt from friends, family and even medical professionals (imagine that reaction if you had a broken leg). Lady Gaga recently spoke about her struggle with fibromyalgia in her Netflix documentary 'Five Foot Two’, bringing the condition into the spotlight.

Whilst this book is a personal story, I hope it speaks for other people too.

'Red Dressing Gown' (image available on a postcard)
'Red Dressing Gown' (image available on a postcard)

THE BEAUTIFUL DETAILS

Look, I’m wearing all the colours will be an elegantly designed hardback book, printed on high quality paper and expertly bound. It will be printed at Narayana Press in Denmark which has made books for many of Scandinavia's leading photographers.

  • 120 pages and over 70 photographs   
  • 10x8 inches (20.3 x 25.4cm) 
  • Hard cover, section sewn binding and coloured endsheets   
  • Offset printing  
  • Introductory text by Rikard Österlund  
  • Distribution date: autumn 2018

COST

The funding will pay for the printing, distribution, Kickstarter fees and the cost of making and shipping the rewards. I am not looking to recoup any money or time I have invested in the project. 

  • £6900 - Printing and binding costs  
  • £250 - Travel to printers  
  • £1090 - The cost to make the rewards, including prints, postcards, postage and packaging 
  • £720 - Kickstarter fees

Any funds that we raise beyond the target will go towards the book launch, free community talks and making the book even more special. 

I hope that with your support the campaign reaches it goal and can be sent to print at Narayana Press. A book launch will then be arranged to celebrate which of course you will all be invited to!

ALL OR NOTHING

This is an all or nothing campaign; if I don’t reach the funding goal you will not be charged and the book will not be made. So if you like this project - please help us by sharing it!

A big warm thank you from Zara and me.

Risks and challenges

There are very few risks associated with this project. The photographs and design of the book are mostly complete and the next step is the printing. The proof copy of the book seen in the pictures and video above may change slightly, but only for the better. 

I pride myself with being 'Swedishly organised' and I will do my best to keep everything on schedule for the release in October 2018.

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Support

  1. Select this reward

    Pledge £5 or more About US$ 6

    A PERSONAL THANK YOU VIDEO

    A video message with a personal thank you from Rikard & Zara (and maybe even Babooshka, our cat!)

    Alternatively you can get a written message here on Kickstarter if the idea of a video freaks you out :-)

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  2. Select this reward

    Pledge £15 or more About US$ 19

    A5 POSTCARD

    Oversized postcard with the 'Red Dressing Gown' image.

    Signed on the reverse with a personalised thank you message.

    Printed on lovely 350gsm silk paper.

    Includes:
    • A5 Postcard
    • FREE UK postage
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    Limited 7 backers
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    Pledge £20 or more About US$ 25

    CINNAMON BUNS + A5 POSTCARD

    A pack of 4 homemade Swedish Cinnamon Buns (I used to sell my bake goods in an earlier job). This also includes my recipes for cinnamon buns and Swedish chocolate balls. The buns are only available in the UK, so if you live somewhere else you will simply receive the recipes.

    Also includes the oversized postcard with the 'Red Dressing Gown' image.
    Signed on the reverse with a personalised thank you message.
    Printed on lovely 350gsm silk paper.

    Includes:
    • A5 Postcard
    • FREE UK postage
    • 4 Swedish Cinnamon Buns (UK only)
    • Recipes for Swedish Cinnamon Buns & Chocolate Oat Balls
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    Limited 9 backers
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  4. Select this reward

    Pledge £35 or more About US$ 45

    SIGNED BOOK

    You will be the first to receive a signed copy of 'Look, I'm wearing all the colours' before the official launch.

    Includes:
    • Signed copy of the book
    • FREE UK postage
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    Pledge £45 or more About US$ 57

    SIGNED BOOK + POSTCARD

    You will be the first to receive a signed copy of 'Look, I'm wearing all the colours' before the official launch.

    Plus an oversized postcard with the 'Red Dressing Gown' image. Signed on the reverse with a personalised thank you message. Printed on lovely 350gsm silk paper.

    Includes:
    • Signed copy of the book
    • A5 Postcard
    • FREE UK postage
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    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    11 backers
    £
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  6. Select this reward

    Pledge £55 or more About US$ 70

    SIGNED BOOK + POSTCARD + NAME IN BOOK

    You will be the first to receive a signed copy of 'Look, I'm wearing all the colours' before the official launch.

    Plus an oversized postcard with the 'Red Dressing Gown' image. Signed on the reverse with a personalised thank you message. Printed on lovely 350gsm silk paper.

    As a special sign of my appreciation your name will be listed in the book.

    Includes:
    • Signed copy of the book
    • Your name in the book
    • A5 Postcard
    • FREE UK postage
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    26 backers
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  7. Select this reward

    Pledge £75 or more About US$ 95

    2x SIGNED BOOKS + POSTCARD +NAME IN BOOK

    You will be the first to receive 2 x signed copies of 'Look, I'm wearing all the colours' before the official launch. One for you and one for a friend.

    Plus an oversized postcard with the 'Red Dressing Gown' image. Signed on the reverse with a personalised thank you message. Printed on lovely 350gsm silk paper.

    As a special sign of my appreciation your name will be listed in the book.

    Includes:
    • 2 x signed copies of the book
    • FREE UK postage
    • A5 Postcard
    • Your name in the book
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    3 backers
    £
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  8. Select this reward

    Pledge £95 or more About US$ 121

    TINTYPE PORTRAIT + SIGNED BOOK + NAME

    A unique portrait made with the wet plate collodion process. See example images at www.rikard.co.uk/wetplatecollodion
    At this 1.5 hour session I will talk you through the process, from sitting down for your pose, through the heritage and chemistry, to holding and viewing your finished tintype portrait.

    Sessions will take place in Rochester, UK June/July 2018. If you are based too far away to visit you will be able to choose from one of my existing plate images (incl. still lives)

    You will also be the first to receive a signed copy of 'Look, I'm wearing all the colours' before the official launch

    As a special sign of my appreciation your name will be listed in the book.

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    Pledge £100 or more About US$ 127

    SIGNED BOOK & A 10x8" PRINT (ltd ed)

    You will be the first to receive a signed copy of 'Look, I'm wearing all the colours' before the official launch

    A signed and numbered 10x8" (20x25cm) giclée print of an image from the book. You will be able to choose the image you want at the end of the campaign. These prints are from a limited edition of 10 copies.

    As a special sign of my appreciation your name will be listed in the book.

    Includes:
    • 10 x 8" print, signed and numbered
    • Your name in the book
    • Signed copy of the book
    • FREE UK postage
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    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    8 backers
    £
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    Pledge £150 or more About US$ 191

    PERSONAL TUITION SESSION

    I will offer ideas and guidance to develop your project or portfolio. Or I can custom make a photography lesson for you. Guaranteed to leaving you bursting with ideas and inspiration afterwards no matter what stage of your studies or career you are at.

    This includes a one hour session followed by a 30min follow up conversation.

    We can do this over Skype or in person on dates TBC if you are in London (UK), Medway Towns (UK), Norrköping (Sweden) or Stockholm (Sweden).

    Includes:
    • 1 hour conversation on Skype or in person + 30 min follow up
    • Signed copy of the book
    • FREE UK postage
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    Pledge £195 or more About US$ 248

    SIGNED BOOK + LARGE PRINT (ltd edition)

    You will be the first to receive a signed copy of 'Look, I'm wearing all the colours' before the official launch.

    A signed and numbered 20x16" (40x50cm) giclée print of an image from the book. You will be able to choose the image you want at the end of the campaign. These prints are from a limited edition of 10 copies.

    As a special sign of my appreciation your name will be listed in the book.

    Includes:
    • 20x16" print, signed and numbered
    • Your name in the book
    • Signed copy of the book
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    Pledge £250 or more About US$ 318

    COLLECTORS EDITION

    A very special copy of the book with a unique cover. This collectors edition is limited to 25 signed and numbered copies. It includes 3x 10x8" prints in a box. You also get a postcard and as a sign of my appreciation your name will be printed in the book.

    Includes:
    • Collectors edition of the book (ltd to 25)
    • 3 x 10x8" prints
    • Your name in the book
    • A5 Postcard
    • FREE UK postage
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    Pledge £350 or more About US$ 445

    PORTRAIT SHOOT

    An opportunity to have a portrait photoshoot with me for your family, band, or the best Facebook profile picture you've ever had.

    Up to 2 hours location shoot, with a selection of up to 12 images delivered as high resolution files.

    Available in London (UK), Medway Towns (UK), Norrköping (Sweden), Stockholm (Sweden).

    Includes:
    • 2 hour portrait photoshoot (incl 12 images)
    • Signed copy of the book
    • FREE UK postage
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    Limited 3 backers
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Funding period

- (30 days)