Accomplice: Tell us what you want turned into duct tape, and using only the POWER OF OUR IMAGINATIONS we will turn it into a sweet little silver square. Then we will send it to you, with our hard boiled thanks. We'll even put your name in the program.
Agency Insider: You know what's up. You don't just have the scoop, you make the scoop. You know tomorrow's unknowns before the knowns go to bed tonight. You are the noir maker & breaker. We'll give you a ticket and lend you a fedora if you happen to leave yours at home. And, of course, you get your name in the program (but you knew that already).
Captain Don't: This is your in on the action. You're Duct Tape Girl's boss—nah, for real. You'll get a ticket to the show, a seat with your name on it, and a sash to take home. Hell, we'll even give you a second ticket for your assistant (you're that big a deal).
Superhero: You get a video calling-card. We know your super-power. We know the story of your most daring missions. We're here to tell the world of your exploits. You'll be amazed at how we're able to condense your illustrious career into a minute, but we're good like that. If that's not enough, we'll give you two tickets (can't be a superhero without a sidekick) and make sure you see your name in the program.
Fast-Response Squad: You're not a loner. Actually, you're not lonerS. We'll give you 4 tickets so the whole crew can come, and we'll have your team's video calling-card on the web before the show to psych you up.
String Puller: Captain Don't has nothing on you. Superheroes bring you coffee. The Playwright makes you dinner. That's right: Paz will come cook you a delicious dinner, with enough food for lunch the next day (and probably the day after that too). We know that you only eat alone when you choose to, but choose not to with us! (This can be delivered in NYC before April 21; SF Bay Area between May 5 and June 12; and Buenos Aires, Argentina, after June 15).
Shadowy Figure: You are so far behind the action that even conspiracy theorists can't see you. You are the origin. You are the source. You are the belly-button in the darkness. The only thing that is known about you is that you have a pair of fabulous duct-tape lace-up boots, handmade by the Playwright; an open invitation to the best seat in the house; and your name in the program (not that you'd be willing to let us print it).