Welcome, internet-connected website peruser!
We are Ugh God, and it is certainly a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Chances are high that the pleasure is entirely ours, but that's typical. Chances are even higher that you don't even know why you're reading this right now...
You are reading this now because you, yes you, play an integral part in the next three months of 8 peoples lives. These people, these fine gentlemen, need you as a baby needs it's mother's milk, love and care to ensure it's proper growth - except this time there is no nine month (plus 18 year) commitment involved. In fact there is no real commitment on your end at all, said for the one-time decision you must make as to whether or not you'll donate to our noble cause.
"What is our noble cause?" I can hear some of you ask. Well, I will tell you: Ugh God and Fat History Month, acting as a gaggle of developmentally challenged migratory birds, are going to tour from their east coast nests to explore the more western regions of the country. Don't worry, we'll come back, but only after 30 days. Thats one show a night, for thirty nights, until we can rest our wings, safe and sound in our baby birdy nests.
"So what do you need me to do?" Well, silly, we need your help to purchase a van to get us on the road. Don't worry, you aren't paying for the whole thing, you're only helping us get together a down payment on a low-millage, gargantuan, American-made passenger van. When we get back, we'll pay for the rest ourselves as a sign of good faith. See? You scratch our backs and we'll scratch yours!
"It doesn't seem like you're really scratching anyone's back, though." Ah, but we are! For your absolutely non-tax-deductible donation, we will shower you with riches. What do we have to offer? Only the humble offering of our music - our entire double half-decade careers captured on digital and physical media. That's, like, 10 years of music (if timelines were more-so cyclical, rather than linearly parallel)! Think about it and you'll find that it's completely worth it. If you don't think it's worth it after thinking about it, maybe you should just sit down and think about it again.
"But why should I help you guys?" Because supporting hard-working, driven and motivated DIY musicians is one of the best things you can do with your money. Why is that? Well, people who embody the Do It Yourself ethic are special people. DIY musicians don't rely on record label backing to accomplish what they accomplish, they work hard packaging and distributing their own CDs, promoting themselves and touring across the country totally without any official help, only the help of other people who are willing to help and support what the artist is doing.
Any extra money we make over the initial $2,000 will go towards general expenses, such as gas and tolls. Have you noticed gas is actually over $4 a gallon? What a world, what a world...
All we ask is that you listen to our music and if you enjoy it please seriously consider donating anything at all, in order to help get us across the country. Every little bit helps us get closer to our goal, and you'll receive rewards for helping us along.
Check out these videos to see us in action:
FAT HISTORY MONTH
- (47 days)