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I must provide the tortured introvert Aaron Turner with comfy pajamas so he can write a new record. It’s my last hope.
17 backers pledged $262 to help bring this project to life.
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$262

17

I don’t know what else to do. If we all want another Old Man Gloom album, maybe it’s time try more honey and less vinegar. I think if we buy Aaron some super comfy pajamgram footy pajamas, maybe he’ll be so cozy, the riffs will just flow out of him. I could be wrong. Who fuckin knows. All I know is that I’ve been a real dick for a few years on Facebook, and that certainly hasn’t worked, so let’s go the other route. We'll also buy a Spiral Cut Ham for Caleb, and we'll enroll Nate in the "Pancake of the Month" club. 
These bribes will surely encourage the members of Old Man Gloom to stop ignoring their duties, and write another record. We'll pay for the record, or really some sweet heavy metal label will, all I need is treats, and a show of support from the fans. At the very least, the guilt they feel while enjoying these goodies might push them into action. 

Pajamagram: $59.99
Honeybaked Spiral Cut Ham: $70.95
Pancake of the Month Club: $56.00

$186.94

Risks and challenges

The risk is basically we get this asshole some pajamas, and nothing happens. Rest assured, if this is the case, I won’t rest until I rip those comfy footy pajamas off his tall weirdly hairy body.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 5 or more About US$ 5

    A personalize Facebook critique

    You send a photo and I’ll tell you how fuckin dumb you look and point out the weird trash in your house in the background. Classic Santos.

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    Pledge US$ 20 or more About US$ 20

    My baby’s clothes!

    When she grows out of them. Because, you know, what else am I gonna do with all this shit.

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    Pledge US$ 25 or more About US$ 25

    Show biz wrap gift grab bag

    You’ll have the opportunity to own some bullshit i was given and don’t want! Including Luke Cage headphones, broad city hats and t shirts, hats from Girls, the Affair. Even som coffee mugs! It’s all trash!

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    Pledge US$ 100 or more About US$ 100

    My phone number!

    We can text. I can send you drop pins when I’m at the park with my baby, or drinking alone when she’s asleep. No phone calls though. That’s horrible. I’m way better I’m writing.

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    Pledge US$ 500 or more About US$ 500

    KARAOKE party in New York!

    Karaoke party! You rent the room, you order the wings, I'll get trashed and belt out the tunes.

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    Pledge US$ 700 or more About US$ 700

    My tiny motorcycle

    It’s tiny! And ridiculous! (1982 Honda MB5)You’ll be the envy of all your friends when it’s knocked on its side in your yard! Even better, you gotta pick this shit up.

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    Pledge US$ 1,000 or more About US$ 1,000

    Party at my place!

    A night of Crokinole at my house. Google crokinole. It’s awesome. You can bring as many friends as you want. I’ll even make queso.

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    Pledge US$ 2,000 or more About US$ 2,000

    A lock of aaron turners beard hair

    It won’t be easy, but I’ll try. I’ve taken beard hair from people befor, and I’ll do it again. Some of my beard hair will be sent if unsuccessful.

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Funding period

- (7 days)