Why “The New I Do”?
At a time when half of American marriages end in divorce,
more people are opting to cohabit, and headlines ask, “Who Needs Marriage?” it
is clear that the institution of marriage as we know it is in trouble.
We’re here to shake it up.
We don’t think marriage itself is the problem, however; we
believe trying to squeeze everyone into a one-size-fits-all,
till-death-do-us-part model doesn’t always work for who we are and how we live
our lives today. But, instead of throwing out marriage altogether, we think it’s
time for each of us to create the kind of marriage we want. That’s why we wrote
“The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Cynics, Commitaphobes and Connubial
DIYers,” an engaging, hands-on workbook that gets couples to clarify for
themselves their goals, motivations and concerns before they say, “I do,” and
to use that as a springboard for discussions with their partner.
OK, So What’s In It For You?
There has never been a workbook like “The New I Do.” That’s
because when marriage was the only option for couples, there wasn’t a need for
Let’s face it — women and men today have many more options
than our parents did. Marriage is no longer the only route to a successful,
fulfilling life for everyone (even if it would make your mother very, very
happy). Yet every year, 2 million couples still choose to marry. Our goal is to
help those couples make their marriage successful.
How? “The New I Do” delves much deeper than traditional
premarital counseling, which typically addresses issues like children,
finances, handling household chores and communication issues. Those are,
without a doubt, essential conversations, but “The New I Do” walks readers
through provocative questions that few people ask themselves, questions about love,
commitment, monogamy, infidelity, cohabitation, porn, expectations, the impact
of technology and much more. It also offers ways to personalize marriage to
better fit those who might want to consider something other than the
traditional marriage their parents had.
As a child of divorce, Susan Pease Gadoua knows first-hand
how disruptive an unhappy marriage and subsequent divorce can be. Susan married
for the first time in her 40s to a man who, like her, was in his 40s and hadn’t been married before - the
complete opposite experience of Vicki Larson. Vicki’s not a child of divorce
but she has been divorced twice — first in her early 20s and then at midlife,
when she was mom to two young boys.
Both have written extensively about marriage and divorce on
the Huffington Post, PsychologyToday.com, and elsewhere, and both are
passionate about helping couples have the marriage they want.
And we’ve earned some kudos for our one-on-one work with
"My fiancee and I participated in the program about nine months before our big day. Despite the fact that we'd lived together for several years and talked openly about our commitment, this program gave us a fresh new perspective — a perspective that we feel makes us even readier to take the plunge."
— Brandon & Elizabeth
Why We’re On Kickstarter
Basically, we need your help. We are seeking cynics,
commitaphobes and connubial DIYers — or just the curious — to help us raise $3,000
to cover a few basic costs needed to see “The New I Do” to fruition, including
creative design, editing and proofing, and marketing.
We hope you agree with us that “The New I Do” is a
much-needed project, and that you are willing to help us reach our goal. Even
if you’re not a position to help us financially, we’d greatly appreciate it if
you could spread the word by:
— Sharing our Kickstarter page on your favorite social
networks, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest Tumblr or just plain ol’ email
— Liking us on Facebook
— Following us on Twitter