In the year leading up to my daughters' departure for school in Rome, I began noticing that whenever I looked at a clock, it displayed repeated numbers, with 11:11 and 4:44 most often occurring. This happened so frequently that I was compelled to research a possible meaning and found that most references explained this phenomenon as a message to "pay attention," so I decided to do that. As to what I needed to pay attention to was not obvious, at first.
So I started taking photographs with my phone camera each time I saw these repeated numbers, and editing them through photo applications. Slowly over the course of a few weeks it became clear what I needed to pay attention to: I was to explore this poignant time with my daughters who at 11 and 14 years old, were embarking on a journey that would never, really, bring them back to me.
Time became increasingly precious as the calendar pages fell away like leaves from a tree in autumn, making our experiences together-and the images that resulted from them-beautiful testimonies to our passage of time. I was beginning to understand that the pain I was experiencing during this period was caused not by the transition itself, but by holding on to what was.
What you see here ranges from everyday occurrences of ear piercings and walks through the cemetery to life changing events such as open heart surgery and the decline of a parent. Many images simply show the abstract trailings of my emotions.
At some point I noticed that the repeated numbers on the clock stopped. Was it perhaps because I paid attention? It’s impossible to be certain...but I do know that I looked deeply, I listened intensely. And what does all this “paying attention” come to? It’s a lesson, about letting go.
This exhibit is an installation with 555 images projected on a wall, a T.V., a computer, and an ipad. 16 24x24" prints cover three walls, 77 prints follow an ant line along the floors and walls and through the space that is filled with my furniture; desk, chair, couch, T.V., table, lounge, bookshelf. 11 prints sit on the desk, 2 prints are displayed in desk frames.
Imagine an Alice in Wonderland-like wander through my life, seeing through my eyes, sitting in my chair. Sometimes you grow tall, sometimes you grow small, and always, you feed your head.
Risks and challenges
My biggest challenge is to print the some 100 prints in a way that I am satisfied, I want them to be things of beauty that deeply touch some part of the viewer. I must purchase a professional photo printer to accomplish this (hence my kickstarter project).
Also placing them and the installation features in a cohesive way that the viewer may find the story through the images alone. I want the viewer to wander through the space and allow themselves to become absorbed in what they see, as they see through my eyes.
Any set backs will be handled by persistence and long hours to set the exhibit up in time for the opening.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
- (14 days)