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Twenty years after Steve Taylor's last studio album, he's taking a sabbatical from filmmaking to record all new music with a new band.
Twenty years after Steve Taylor's last studio album, he's taking a sabbatical from filmmaking to record all new music with a new band.
2,466 backers pledged $121,197 to help bring this project to life.

CONFIDENTIAL: The People vs. Steve Taylor & The Perfect Foil

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Dear fellow Kickstarter backers,

My name is Howard Howe, and I am an attorney with Dewey, Bustem & Howe, a firm specializing in class-action lawsuits involving crowdfunding and overdue backer rewards.

As a fellow backer of the Steve Taylor & The Perfect Foil Kickstarter project, I share your frustration at the seeming inability of Steve Taylor & The Perfect Foil (hereinafter referred to as the “So-Called Band”) to complete delivery of their promised long-form recording (hereinafter referred to as the “Quote/Unquote Album”). Our firm is now in the discovery phase of litigation against So-Called Band, and I’ve just concluded an initial deposition with Mr. Taylor at the office of his attorney, Mr. Samuel S. Squire, Esq.

The deposition ended with an interesting twist, so I’ve included below an edited transcript and will keep you informed as to our progress. For obvious reasons, please keep this transcript and its contents strictly confidential.

HOWE: Mr. Taylor, let me start by asking this simple question: What possible explanation can you have for delaying your quote/unquote album four months after its estimated delivery?

SQUIRE: I object, your honor!

(Long silence, followed by Mr. Taylor’s whispered explanation to his lawyer that there is no judge present at a deposition.)

SQUIRE: Mr. Howe, my client has explained his reasons in prior updates. Any further explanation would only serve to provoke and further alienate his admittedly long-suffering backers.

HOWE: Let the accused speak for himself.

(Mr. Taylor points to his throat.)

SQUIRE: My client has a concert appearance at a festival this weekend in New Hampshire, and as such is protecting his vocal cords from overuse.

HOWE: Very well. Then please tell us all, Squire... At what point does Mr. Taylor even intend to provide an actual release date beyond such vagaries as “achingly close,” “any week now,” and “before Jesus returns”?

SQUIRE: I will not tolerate such outbursts in my court!

(Mr. Taylor again reminds his lawyer that we’re not in a courtroom, then offers him a slice of raw meat from his jacket pocket.)

SQUIRE (after swallowing): My dear Mr. Howe, my client is — as the band name suggests — striving for perfection, which traditionally cannot be forced via timetable. But I am allowed to reveal that a date has been set for mastering within the coming weeks, and band sign-off on the final mixes is achingly close.

HOWE: And how can We The Backers be sure that the music will meet our quality standards?

SQUIRE: How dare you, sir! My client has sacrificed his reputation for timeliness, his once sizable fortune, and his formerly keen sense of perspective in the pursuit of quality! I shall not subject his delicate ears to the scurrilous attacks of a scoundrel and a provocateur! 

HOWE: Then play me something! Throw us a bone! (Mr. Taylor again reaches into his jacket pocket and produces a bone, which he tosses to Mr. Howe.)

SQUIRE: I have been instructed to allow you to listen to this recently mixed track on the condition that you share nothing more than its previously undisclosed title with your fellow backers.

(Mr. Squire produces a set of headphones plugged into his Blackberry and plays the track for Mr. Howe.) 

HOWE: Hmm. I must admit this is surprisingly good. It rocks quite convincingly and has attitude for days. What’s the name of this one?

SQUIRE: The Sympathy Vote.

HOWE: I like it.

SQUIRE: Of course you do.

HOWE: But surely you can’t expect me to report to my fellow backers with nothing more than the title of a previously untitled album track?

SQUIRE (turning to Mr. Taylor): He has a point.

(Mr. Taylor stares into the middle distance for a full thirty seconds, then finally whispers something in the ear of his attorney. The attorney responds with a look of horror.)

SQUIRE: Good God, man! Are you MAD?

(Mr. Taylor whispers a brief reply.)

SQUIRE: But think of what you’re doing! Once the deed has been done, it cannot be undone! Are you sure?

(Mr. Taylor breathes deeply, then slowly nods. His attorney wipes the sweat from his furrowed brow, then turns to Mr. Howe.)

SQUIRE: If my client were to reveal to you THE ALBUM COVER IMAGE, would that satisfy your bloodthirst?

HOWE (turning to Mr. Taylor): Good God, man! ARE YOU MAD???

(Mr. Taylor reaches into his pocket, removes the remaining raw meat, then thrusts it into his own mouth and swallows.)

TAYLOR (to his attorney): Do it.

(Mr. Squire, still shaking his head in disbelief, reaches into his briefcase and, with trembling hands, produces a lo-res mockup of the album cover art in a temporary frame. Even the air conditioner goes silent.)

End of transcript.

Due to the fact that Mr. Taylor and his attorney have allowed me to reprint the album cover image as a gesture of goodwill toward We The Backers, my advisement is that further action be suspended pending a release date. However, if said release date isn’t provided any week now, my strong recommendation is that legal action be resumed with all due haste based on So-Called Band’s prior conduct.

Sincerely,

Howard Howe, Esq.

Darin Swan, Tiana Diehl, and 86 more people like this update.

Comments

    1. Shaun Hays on August 17, 2014

      Steven: I cutoff another toe each week you delay. There are a LOT of toe-less people hobbling around my town. That's on you.

    2. Phil Steer on August 11, 2014

      I'm currently re-reading "In Praise of Slow" by Carl Honoré (www.carlhonore.com) so am certainly not going to object to you taking this approach with the new album :-)

    3. Scott Norin on August 11, 2014

      Since this appears to be going legal... I'm wondering if Peter, James and John have been authorized by the DMV (Dept of Music Vetrans) for this album?

      If not, I think there are people at the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland that know how to make the licenses look pretty authentic. Only people that I think ever got busted was Barry Manilow and possibly Rick Springfield. I don't think anyone wants to hear the song Human Touch anymore while going thru security lines at the airport.

    4. Missing avatar

      David Kelly on August 10, 2014

      The continuing high level of creativity is inspiring. And thanks for the update - always nice to know you haven't been forgotten! Hey, maybe, you could package up the Kickstarter updates and video segments into a special bonus feature for future Taylor-starved fans... ;)

    5. Jeremy Snowdon on August 10, 2014

      So we've heard plenty from Steve, seems to me its high time we get an update by The Perfect Foil, though I'd happily settle for just receiving some music instead...

    6. Missing avatar

      Steven A Cunningham on August 9, 2014

      Mr. Howe, thanks for the update and for watching out for our interests in this matter. LOL

    7. Tacjana Mutton on August 9, 2014

      Dear Tasha,

      In your own pursuit of perfection, might I suggest ending questions with a question mark?

      Sincerely,
      Tasha

    8. Tacjana Mutton on August 9, 2014

      Dear Steve,

      In your pursuit of perfection, might I suggest the taxidermy mount come a little to the left.

      Your (OCD) friend,
      Tasha

    9. Paul Schmitt on August 9, 2014

      I'm sorry but my patience and sense of humor are worn thin. I feel manipulated and will be disliked by many of you because of my impatience. It is disorganization and running around doing things other than the album that are causing delays not a striving for perfection. Every time I see show pics on Facebook I get aggravated wondering why the album isn't being mixed. And the continued inability to put any kind of deadline on this is ridiculous. Enough with the cuteness lets hear some music. How about the "first single" that was promised for February.

    10. Missing avatar

      Rinalisa Garcia on August 8, 2014

      It's nice to know that I am not the only one who has seen the need to retain a lawyer on this matter. I will inform my attorney of this update.

    11. Mark Strand on August 8, 2014

      If this thing does go to trial, I'm in for backing the ST&PF Kickstarter Defense Fund.

    12. Andrew Irwin on August 8, 2014

      Yes! Those lawyers are worth every haemoglobin I paid them!.

    13. Missing avatar

      James Boes on August 8, 2014

      Really funny but the time it took to write it could've been spent mixing the new album. Written completely with tongue in cheek.

    14. Ian Harvey on August 8, 2014

      Love your sense of humour! :-)

    15. jim cockrum on August 8, 2014

      "if said release date isn’t provided any week now, my strong recommendation is that legal action be resumed "...

      Now THAT is the sense of urgency I was looking for! Decisive and precise. I'm quite pleased indeed.

    16. Bob Puckett on August 8, 2014

      Hey, Steve, take a long as you like. I probably wasn't going to actually listen to the album anyway. I mean, the fun is in giving the money away right? You get that, right? Yeah, I will end up listening to it someday, I guess, maybe. I have to listen to the new Daniel Amos album first - it's on my desk somewhere I think. Anyway, best wishes, take your time, what is is more important that than what should be, Bob

    17. Brian Layman on August 8, 2014

      Hey! I know those people! (at least that's how I feel about it after the back stage pass and stalking Steve as he wandered around Akron, OH pre-concert...) Thank you again for all the perks (and updates)!

      Nice Cover!

    18. Richard Vance on August 8, 2014

      "So-Called Band", which is not to be confused with My So-Called Band, which is not to be confused with my "So-Called Band", which doesn't exist.

    19. Scott Norin on August 8, 2014

      (This song helped my need for instant art. Love this song very much. I'm still all up in here about Beyoncé scrapping 50 songs on her last very delayed album.

      No matter what band it is, it's always called "the latest album"... but anyways). =D
      ==========================
      Anything - SNTR

      This is my forty-fifth depressing tune
      They're looking for money as they clean my artistic womb
      And when I give birth to the child I must take to flight
      'Cause the black in our pockets won't let us fight a proper fight
      So hey baby, can you shed some light on the problem, maybe?
      'Cause we're all tired and we'd like to know
      If we should pack our tents, shut down the show
      Yes, we should like to see a burning bush-type sign

      But anything would be fine

    20. Missing avatar

      SusieF on August 8, 2014

      And the award for best-written kickstarter update goes to...Steve Taylor! Still waiting impatiently for aforementioned album to be released, but maybe this will help motivate So-Called Band to finish & release the album.

      Also, the cover looks great. :)

    21. Jacob Neff on August 8, 2014

      If it means continuing to get more comedy gold, then I can certainly wait a little longer.

    22. Missing avatar

      Nate Jones on August 8, 2014

      Still...... holding..... breath......

    23. Missing avatar

      Robert fairfax on August 8, 2014

      As a representative from the west coast affiliate law firm of Dewey, Cheatam and Howe, I demand to know when the poor litigants on the west coast will be able to use their "all powerful" golden tickets to see said concert tour! Throw us a bone!

    24. Christopher Ouellette on August 8, 2014

      When am I picking you up at soulfest? Lunch or dinner?

    25. Doug Lattery on August 8, 2014

      Why wasn't this filmed? Now you are just getting lazy. ...or perhaps you didn't take the time to film it because you were working on the new album? Nah, that can't be it...
      Anyways, I am going to sit at my desk and wait. *taps fingers on desk*

    26. Errin Hogan on August 8, 2014

      Very much desiring said band to confirm tour dates in OREGON please (& thank you & we ask that there are no clone based meltdowns while the cash cow's dealing with the lifeboat ... Nor would we advise squinting as your confession just how much harder it is to believe ... Oh ... Just announce the dates please) :-)

    27. Missing avatar

      Maximus on August 8, 2014

      This lawsuit is completely frivolous! And said lawsuit will be completely removed from consideration if/when a demo copy of So Called Band's album is included in the final release. Sincerely, So-Called Backers

    28. Missing avatar

      John Varga on August 8, 2014

      Well I've waited 20 years with the faint hope that Steve would ever come out with a new CD and all I hope for is I get it before I die.

    29. Marty Shaughnessy on August 8, 2014

      Hey Steve, take the time you need to put out the album you are happy with. Of course, if I see pictures of you and the boys on a yacht, drinking fancy drinks out of lobster bodies, I may be a little upset. Just a little mind you.

    30. Philip Calvert on August 8, 2014

      I am at the undisclosed New England festival, eagerly awaiting the so-called performance by the defendants.

    31. substandardtim on August 8, 2014

      It is a project that both Steve Taylor AND Peter Furler are involved in. I would be alarmed if it had been released on time!!

    32. Missing avatar

      Darin on August 8, 2014

      Absolutely outstanding!