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Twenty years after Steve Taylor's last studio album, he's taking a sabbatical from filmmaking to record all new music with a new band.
Twenty years after Steve Taylor's last studio album, he's taking a sabbatical from filmmaking to record all new music with a new band.
2,466 backers pledged $121,197 to help bring this project to life.

Summer Progress Report

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Dear parent or legal guardian of Stephen Taylor,

My decision to detain your delinquent charge for the first month of the summer recess has met with mixed results. On the positive side, he claims to have "almost completed" the homework assignment due April 30th, and has turned in what he maintains are the titles (poorly alphabetized, I might add) to a "poetry collection set to music" entitled Goliath. They are as follows:

- Comedian

- Double Negative

- Goliath

- Happy Go Lazy

- In Layers

- Moonshot

- Only A Ride

- Rubberneck

- Standing In Line

- A Life Preserved (which he categorized as a "new recording")

- As Yet Untitled

On the negative side, he refuses to show me the actual poems — citing "executive privilege" — and further insists that the musical settings are being developed with a "band" of friends named Peter, James and John. (If he's going to invent three imaginary friends, surely he can invent three more original names — as punishment I've added an extra week of detention.)

Stephen continues a pattern of obfuscation when confronted with simple math problems. In response to the question, "If a thousand people order t-shirts and only nine hundred arrive in the mail, how many are left shirtless?" he tore his P.E. garments in distress and cried to the heavens in Aramaic. Then he held up ten trembling fingers and asked me to "add zeroes to taste." (I didn't appreciate the sarcasm, so I added another week of detention.)

Finally, Stephen asked me if he could have a day off this Saturday to take his imaginary band on a field trip to something he calls AudioFeed in Urbana, Illinois. (I told him no, of course, and if he sneaks out I'll add another week of detention to go with his bad attitude.)

In summary, Stephen will remain in detention indefinitely until his homework has been fully completed and turned in. I'll issue a release date as soon as possible, as I have a cruise planned for mid August.

Yours truly,

Velma Aryan, MA

P.S. Stephen begged me to send a message to his "backers" that they should all have now received their t-shirts in the mail, and if they haven't, please contact him via his Kickstarter home page on the World Wide Web. I don't like being mocked, so I've taken away his internet privileges and added another week of detention.



Comments

    1. Sidra Pauly on August 14, 2014

      I received my T-Shirt today! Thanks :-) I can't wait for the CD (and digital download).

    2. Sidra Pauly on August 8, 2014

      Hi, No shirt or CD yet.

    3. Terry Tustan on July 23, 2014

      Hi, no shirt or CD yet. Just to let you know. T.T.

    4. Greg Koelln on July 8, 2014

      Have not yet received my t-shirt. Thanks!

    5. Eric Okabayashi on July 4, 2014

      Happy 4th of July Steve. I didn't receive the shirt yet, it will come when it comes. Thanks can't wait for that and the new music.

    6. Steve Taylor 3-time creator on July 2, 2014

      Happy Canada Day! So many witty and wise comments! Such a pleasure to read! If you left a comment about not receiving your shirt: 1) Thank you; 2) We'll resend ASAP; and 3) If it hasn't arrived by next week, "contact me" from the Kickstarter home page and we'll conduct an internal investigation. See you at AudioFeed!

    7. Mark Strand on July 1, 2014

      Take your time, Steve. As long as I have a sweater by Christmas time, I'll be happy!

    8. Kevin Wilkins on July 1, 2014

      Broken vows are like broken mirrors. They leave those who held to them bleeding and staring at fractured images of themselves... (Wow, that was deep, wasn't it?! Thank you, author Richard Paul Evans). You just lost a letter grade, Steve-o!! :-p

    9. Missing avatar

      Michael Sorosiak on July 1, 2014

      PS. Got my T-Shirt, wore it, some random old guy walked by me in a grocery store while wearing it and said, "I want to be a clone". I ran out screaming.

    10. Missing avatar

      Michael Sorosiak on July 1, 2014

      More Tour Dates PLEASE!! I would LOVE TO SEE YOU IN NYC????

    11. Gregg Erickson on July 1, 2014

      Once upon an average morn an average boy...laughed for the countless time (at Steve Taylor's hilarious musings which he pens about his odysseys). Love it. Too funny. Can't wait for the album, guys, and to see you rock in concert. We're pumped in the PNW. Take your time, but at the same time, we can't wait...

    12. Alex Klages on July 1, 2014

      The best way to contact Steve & co is through the 'contact me' link on the right sidebar above the list of KS pledge rewards. I too was shirtless, but they made sure I got my shirt.

    13. Paul Schmitt on July 1, 2014

      Lol. That should be "and" not "bad".

    14. Paul Schmitt on July 1, 2014

      I have raised 5 children bad currently have a 2 year old grandson. When they were in trouble they tried their best to come off as cute and innocent. Depending on the offense it may or may not have worked. Congrats Steve - you can still pull it off in your 50's and people who paid you good money will not hold you accountable. That's why kickstarter works because deadlines are mere whisps in the wind.

    15. Missing avatar

      Michelle Gonzalez on July 1, 2014

      Goliath. Awesome rollercoaster at Six Flags Great America Gurnee ILL-annoy. We actually stood in line for 3-1/2 hours. They were having technical difficulties. It was worth it though. Look it up on YouTube. :-) fastest woody in the world.

    16. Missing avatar

      Ward Bigler on July 1, 2014

      I, too, am missing my shirt. As it is a 2XL, you can imagine how badly it is missed as no one wants to see my unadorned torso. Looking forward to the products and/or future updates.

    17. Missing avatar

      Ward Bigler on July 1, 2014

      I, too, am missing my shirt. As it is a 2XL, you can imagine how badly it is missed as no one wants to see my unadorned torso. Looking forward to the products and/or future updates.

    18. Bob Smith on July 1, 2014

      Dear Steve, Mrs. Aryan said to contact you if I havent received a t shirt yet. At the risk if causing more detention for you, I am doing so now, because I am afraid of a woman like that! If somehow, when I get home later today, I find a shirt in the mailbox, I'll be wondering how my neighbor's take-out laundry got in my mailbox. I hope Mrs.A hasn't got you on bread and water, as you will need your strength to go to complete your assignment. If shifts are available, I'd like a 2XLso that when Thanksgiving comes around I'll still be abke ti wear it, even if it has gravy stains on it. Best of luck! Yours, Bob

    19. Chris Ruch on July 1, 2014

      If you keep writing such entertaining kickstarter updates, I'm gonna start hoping the delay goes on indefinitely! A+ for effort! ;)

    20. Missing avatar

      Steven Dickinson on July 1, 2014

      OK, I will listen to my Squint album again while I wait. By the way will the new album be coming out in 8-Track?

      Thanks

    21. Bert Saraco on July 1, 2014

      I dare you to come to NYC and try to get away with that excuse. I DOUBLE dare ya'!
      Please.
      aw, come on - come to New York. I'll be your best friend...

    22. Paul Knowles on July 1, 2014

      I still have received nothing for my $35 donation. How do I proceed to get my money back? I am very disappointed.

    23. Tyinsar on July 1, 2014

      Phteven, you's in trubble! 8-)

    24. Scott Norin on July 1, 2014

      Whenever people see someone in need, the thing to do in the 21st century seems to be to just reach out and send them a web link. The web is so absolutely instantaneous!!!

      Here is an article by Gary Ewer on how to write songs like "Single Ladies" by Beyoncé.

      http://garyewer.wordpress.com/2010/01/31/writing-a-compound-chorus-beyonces-single-ladies/

    25. Danny Greene on July 1, 2014

      Are you Positive about the Double Negative?

      Why is Paul not being allowed in the band?

    26. Chad Dickhaut on July 1, 2014

      Let's not push Mrs. Aryan!!!

    27. John Warren on July 1, 2014

      I heard from a reliable source in the teachers' lounge that Stephen also allowed Peter to turn in "Sun and Shield" as part of a recent assignment when it was originally part of Stephen's poetry collection. I think Stephen should consider including this poem in his own collection regardless of the awkwardness of having it appear in both boys' work.

    28. Joshua David Huizing on July 1, 2014

      See, this is how you handle being late on a Kickstarter! I don't mind waiting; take your time.

      Please teach Mark Meatto over at the How to Grow a Band Kickstarter how to properly treat backers.

    29. Missing avatar

      bobby young on July 1, 2014

      I'm waiting with "baited" breath, as I love sardines in mustard.

    30. Missing avatar

      Nate Jones on July 1, 2014

      Mrs. Aryan! Ha! I just got that! And the song is only, what 30 years old!?

    31. David A Dein on July 1, 2014

      As Yet Untitled is that a.k.a. To Be Determined?

    32. Tim Cobham on July 1, 2014

      I've still not received my T-shirt yet, my teacher says she refuses to accept the excuse that it's lost in the post in the same way as my homework was eaten by the dog.
      I have been told I need to stop wearing a 'Jesus is for losers' top but refuse to do gym classes in only my pants! C minus

    33. Dave and Linda Miller on July 1, 2014

      I have not received my tshirt :( how can I spread the word of how awesome Steve Taylor is and that he has a new album coming out if I have no t shirt to wear

    34. Thomas Holt on July 1, 2014

      Don't throw him out of the lifeboat yet Mrs. Aryan.

    35. Gil VanOrder on July 1, 2014

      Thank you Mrs. Aryan!

    36. Missing avatar

      Michael Nowicki on July 1, 2014

      I have not received my t-shirt at this point. My gym teacher refuses to accept my excuse that it was never delivered. I guess I will have to try the old standby my dog are it.

      Mike nowicki
      985 willow run ln
      Winter springs fl 32708

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