This project will only be funded if it reaches its goal by .
This project will only be funded if it reaches its goal by .
About this project
RE: ONE DAMN SHIRT
Welcome to the Kickstarter for Kakos Industries, the company that helps its clients to Do Evil Better. We specialize in improving evil wherever it can be found. Currently we are focused on making evil more fashionable and fashion more evil.
We want to make a shirt that you will love and wear every day until the cloth has rotted off of your sunburned post-apocalyptic-desert-wandering frame and fallen into the sands behind you like the memories of what could have been. If you ever get the choice of shirt to wear on your multi-million-dollar ride into space, we want it to be a Kakos Industries shirt. And if you ever need to rip a shirt into strips of fabric to stop all of the bleeding, we want it to be another shirt. Not our shirt. There’s got to be another one around, right?
Quality evil doesn’t come cheap, and we have poured millions into the development of this perfectly evil shirt. However, the executive board diverted some of the funds earmarked for shirt development to finance a night of debauchery, and we found that we are now in the red. Rather than cover the shortfall by cutting their salaries or bonuses, the executive board unanimously voted to pass the cost onto you, the shareholders. And make no mistake, if you’re reading this page then you are a shareholder in the evil produced by Kakos Industries.
So just how big is the budget shortfall?
Well, about $25 should cover it.
That's one damn shirt.
And so we are turning to you, our Shareholders, via Kickstarter, to help us complete development of this most evil shirt. Of course we at Kakos Industries are always willing to reward evil. You have been demanding another run of T-Shirts with new designs. You have also been demanding hoodies with the Kakos Industries logo, and all manner of other merchandise. Your demands have finally been answered! We will be rewarding the Shareholders who back our Campaign with first crack at these new designs and new merchandise, as well as access to our beloved, evil classics. In fact there are a variety of Rewards: from shirts to posters to Kakos Industries stock certificates suitable for framing, and even a learn how to podcast class with Kakos Industries' scapegoat/alleged creator Conrad Miszuk. As a bonus, one lucky shareholder who selects a shirt as their Pledge Reward will receive a Certificate of Authenticity signed by Corin Deeth III, while the rest of you will receive the highly sought after Certificate of Inauthenticity along with your shirt, letting you know that you gave us your money for nothing (except a shirt).
Still not on board with your new status as a Kakos Industries shareholder? Take a look at the T-Shirt designs and you may find that they need no explanation at all. Many of these shirts have been designed and crafted to get you the attention and laughter you deserve whether you listen to your shareholder announcements or not.
So, what are you waiting for? Scroll down to see pictures of the Rewards and get coveting!
Kakos Industries is one of those newfangled Audio Drama Podcasts. That is, it’s a podcast, and one scripted to give you the highest density of humor and entertainment for your time. Towards that end, Kakos Industries has consciously remained free of advertisements since its beginning, over 70 episodes ago, in 2014. But…
Podcasting isn’t cheap.
The team behind Kakos Industries has selflessly given so much to produce this podcast. But, there are ongoing costs and debts that need to be paid. Web hosting and design costs money. So does making each episode. Equipment like sound cards and microphones also cost money. On top of that, this show takes up much of the time of creator Conrad Miszuk, the voice of Kakos Industries CEO Corin Deeth III, who needs to eat, prey, and pay for occasional self-care.
All of the money pledged during this Kickstarter, above the cost of Backer Rewards and Kickstarter's fees, goes directly to supporting the show that you love (or will soon love). Making humorous and high quality entertainment for our listeners is a lifelong dream of the creative team and we are all so thankful to everyone who listens.
Haven't Listened to Kakos Industries?
The Kakos Industries Podcast takes the form of corporate shareholder announcements from Kakos Industries, a company specializing in helping its clients to "Do Evil Better". In these announcements, listeners are treated to updates on the life of Corin Deeth III, CEO and host of the announcements, updates from the many divisions of Kakos Industries on their advancements in evil, and updates on all of the strange and eerie occurrences inside of the Kakos Industries facilities. While Kakos Industries specializes in doing evil, older and less effective evils (such as sexism, racism, and other forms of bigotry) are routinely shunned, creating an open and inclusive environment for all to do evil.
You can listen to Kakos Industries on iTunes, Google Play Music, or directly at KakosIndustries.com. You can also read the full transcript of each episode on the Kakos Industries web site. And you can watch Kakos Industries bonus material on the Kakos Industries YouTube Channel.
We have an amazing assortment of rewards to show our love to our Backers! There are official Kakos Industries certificates and posters, as well as special experiences with Kakos Industries creator and star Conrad Miszuk. But, we are most excited to offer Backers our new apparel! We have brand new designs inspired by some of your favorite bits in the Kakos Industries Podcast, as well as our classic designs. Plus, we now have hoodies available!
Our first stretch goal was successfully completed, and all Backers who pledge $35 or more will automatically receive an Evilie Bag in addition to the rest of their rewards! (It's the Kakos Industries version of a goodie bag). Amongst its mysteries, the Evilie Bag will include four 2.25" buttons of some of our favorite Kakos Industries designs: the New Hole, I'm a Member, the Harlots Unicycle Derby Team, and the Kakos Industries Logo! Evilie Bags are also available individually as or as an add-on.
All of our apparel Rewards include a Certificate of Inauthenticity -except for one lucky Backer who will be chosen at random to receive the "actual" Kakos Industries Evil Shirt! While the "actual" shirt will be completely identical to the other shirts, it will come with the Certificate of Authenticity!
True evil never goes out of style. Flaunt your shareholder status, and support the show, in your choice of hoodie, unisex shirt, women's shirt, or tank top.
I Survived the Shareholders Brawl. In episode 35, it first became important for Kakos Industries to periodically acknowledge some of its finest shareholders in the form of an invitational free-for-all known as the Shareholders’ Brawl. Were you there? Did you survive?
Giant-Ass Robots to Kick in Your Face. First appearing in episode 15, everyone soon fell in love with the surprisingly sensitive side of Dirk Cornelius Sexplosion, the CEO of Giant-Ass Robots to Kick In Your Face. Show your support of one of Kakos Industries greatest clients with this fantastic shirt.
Experience the New Hole. First appearing in episode 1, the New Hole Saga follows the Adult Entertainment Branch of Kakos Industries as they discover/invent a new human orifice. Of course, the experiment ended in tragedy, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to Experience the New Hole.
SSPPMPFC. In episode 67, tragedy struck, and it struck Soundman Steven in an important area. In episode 68, Hailey Solomonari announced the end of the old fan club and the birth of a new fan club for Soundman Steven’s replacement member. Will you join the fan club?
Whaling and Wailing. In Episode 25, we learned that the Division of Whaling and Wailing was still hot on the trail of that damned whale, and the first man to spy it would earn a gold doubloon. Will you go rogue with the Division of Whaling and Wailing?
Synth-Aesthesia. First appearing in episode 3, now you can show your support for your favorite multi-sensual client of Kakos Industries!
It's your favorite Unicycle Derby team! The Harlots Unicycle Derby Team first appeared in Kakos Industries Episode 28
- All shirts are available in both unisex and women's styles, sizes small to 3XL. The Unisex/Men's shirt is also available in a 4XL. For 3XL or 4XL sizes, please add $2 per shirt. Designs are screen printed onto shirts, which are made from 60% cotton/40% polyester.
- Hoodies are available only in unisex style, sizes small - XXL. Design is screen printed onto hoodies, which are made from 80% cotton/20% polyester blend fleece.
- Tank tops are available only in unisex style, sizes small - XXL. Design is screen printed onto tank top, which are made from 100% cotton.
Certificates and Poster:
The Shareholders Certificate and the certificates of Authenticity, Inauthenticity, and Ineligibility will be signed by Corin Deeth III, CEO of Kakos Industries, and witnessed by Kakos Industries' scapegoat/alleged creator Conrad Miszuk.
The Kakos Industries Poster measures 17" x 11", and is printed on #110 paper. It will be shipped in a poster tube to keep it warm and safe during its travels. The Kakos Industries Poster comes autographed by show creator and Official Scapegoat Conrad Miszuk. Please let us know if you would not like your poster autographed. Our feelings won't be hurt. We promise.
We have several exciting experiences available with Kakos Industries Creator, and the voice of Corin Deeth III, Conrad Miszuk. These rewards come with a respectable collection of Kakos Industries swag, or can be added a la carte as add-ons.
- Drinks with Conrad: Meet Conrad in person at a coffee shop or bar in Phoenix and he will buy you a drink (with your money)! Travel to Phoenix, Arizona not included.
- Skype Chat: Backers can select as a reward to have a private Skype chat with Conrad and talk about the show, philosophy, the nature of evil, or household cleaning tips.
- Podcasting Class: After creating the Kakos Industries Podcast from the ground up, Conrad Miszuk makes a perfect podcasting consultant. This $200 reward pledge gives you the chance to learn podcasting from a master! Conrad will give a class on podcasting via Google Hangouts to backers who pledge at this level.
- Vocal Wizardry: Conrad Miszuk not only performs in the Kakos Industries Podcast, he also does the music. Backers who select the $300 pledge are rewarded by having their voice turned into a virtual instrument which will be used to create music to be heard on the show! While you may not be able to recognize your voice, you will get to watch on YoutTube as Conrad makes your voice into music.
For our most generous Backers we are offering the opportunity to be honored by Kakos Industries In-Universe. We have several scenarios in which your truly evil contributions are immortalized by the CEO of Kakos Industries. These rewards include an MP3 of the show segment that your accomplishments are featured in, (which you can keep all to yourself or have included in the podcast). You'll also receive a very special certificate commemorating the specific evil you've bestowed on Kakos Industries. Plus you'll get a respectable assortment of Kakos Industries swag. See the rewards for details, but scenarios include:
- Shareholder of the Year.
- Donate a Wing for Mad Science.
- Donate an Evil Conservatory of Flowers.
- You've been a shareholder for so long that Corin Deeth the First will give you Twentieth Century props for being a Perennial Shareholder.
- Junior, Kakos Industries' very own troll, will become so enraged by one of your blog posts that he will lash out at you in a posting on his audio blog.
- Add $10 to your pledge for a Personalized Thank You from Corin Deeth III (mp3).
- Add $10 to your pledge for an Evilie Bag (and add an additional $5 if you'll need international shipping).
- Add $20 to your pledge for a Shareholder Certificate (and add an additional $5 if you'll need international shipping).
- Add $25 to your pledge for t-shirts or $20 each for 3 or more (and add an additional $5 for each shirt if you'll need international shipping).
- Add $50 to your pledge for a Hoodie (and add an additional $15 if you'll need international shipping).
- Add $50 to your pledge for a private skype call with Conrad Miszuk.
- Add $100 to your pledge to join Conrad Miszuk's introductory podcasting class.
Risks and challenges
We’ve got this! All of the artwork to be printed is finalized, and manufacturers are lined up and ready to go. The t-shirts will be printed at a local (Phoenix, AZ, home of the show) independent business. This provides for the greatest amount of quality control, while also supporting local businesses. Other rewards will be purchased from companies providing Backers the greatest value for their pledges.
Conrad Miszuk, creator of Kakos Industries, has been selling and shipping podcast merchandise directly for several years, so you could say we’ve gotten the hang of printing, packaging, and shipping merchandise. What we haven’t gotten the hang of is all of these time travellers from the future coming back in time to try to steal an original t-shirt from our storage facilities. We must become pretty influential in the future, like Wyld Stallyns. Barring any influx of nefarious collectors from the future, and human frailty, this should be a simple project for us to complete and fulfill.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
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