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I'm a completely independent musician who basically lives on the road. I love love. I stand up for what's right. I loop!
I'm a completely independent musician who basically lives on the road. I love love. I stand up for what's right. I loop!
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Help me finish this song...

So I'm torn. I've been working on this song for awhile now. Throughout the process I've re-written these lyrics a few times and slashed an entire verse. Last night during my live stream harmonies were added by the lovely vocals of Chanie Kravitz. 

I'm stuck on a line and I'd like your input. Please read through the lyrics below and let me know in line 4 of the 2nd verse which line you like better. They both fit in the song (musically and lyrically), but I want to know what hits you more. 

"The Back Door"

We used to fantasize the things we'd see
When we'd fly away in the middle of the week
There was no talk about reality
We held our hopes safely in our dreams

As you leave desperately 
Hopelessly
Slamming the back door

You used to come to me when you were scared
You'd tell me to assure you that I cared
But now you walk through me like I'm not there
What used to come easy now is hard to bear (#1)OR
I can't help you if you won't let me care (#2)

As you leave desperately 
Hopelessly
Slamming the back door

But baby my love we'll get past this bump
We'll level it like we do
Be stronger for me if you can't for you
I promise you we'll get through 
(2x)

As we leave hopefully 
Carefully
Closing the back door

---

In the comments below please write #1 or #2. I'll make a demo this week with the lyric that gets the most votes.

Comments

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    1. Missing avatar

      aslosser on January 2, 2012

      i see i'm pretty lat to the game, but i prefer #2 as well. it is definitely a dilemma of which i've been on both sides (not letting somebody in to help/not being able to help somebody else). Good luck, and thanks for letting us be a part of the process. :)

    2. Missing avatar

      jill wagner on January 2, 2012

      cant wait!! i have heard both ways.. and really do like both, so it is a hard choice!!! i would like to hear them both one after another . that would be the best!

    3. Ari Herstand Creator on January 2, 2012

      well this was a fun group co-writing experience. I had a few people write me emails with paragraphs defending one or the other. in the end it comes down to what is best for the song and what i personally connect to most (as it is my song). i'm recording the demo now. you'll see what happens!

    4. Micah on January 2, 2012

      Like the others, I prefer #2, but don't like cared/care. Actually my bigger problem is with the cared line - someone who needs assurance that you care doesn't really trust you and I prefer the juxtaposition of someone who needs you with someone who doesn't versus someone who doesn't trust you with someone who doesn't need you. What about:

      You used to come to me when you were scared
      You trusted me with what you couldn't bear
      But now you walk through me like I'm not there
      I can't help you if you won't let me care

      (this also keeps the nice double meaning of bear/bare)

    5. Missing avatar

      Samantha on January 2, 2012

      I pick #1 as well.

    6. Missing avatar

      Olivia Mozzi on January 2, 2012

      I like the sentiment in #2 a little better, but I agree with Sam - #1 fits the song more because you already used "cared" once in the verse.

    7. Missing avatar

      Sam on January 2, 2012

      It would be much easier to choose if I could hear it. Lyrics only, I'd say 1 for the sole reason that you already said "cared" two lines above, and rhyming cared with care seems too much.

    8. Crystal Carder on December 31, 2011

      What used to come easy now is hard to bear (#1)

    9. Michelle Carter on December 29, 2011

      Another point for #2 (or, I guess, against #1) is that you run into the issue of "bare" vs "bear" for clarity purposes. Are you saying that it is hard to withstand (bear), or hard to expose/reveal (bare)? When reading it written one way or the other, the meaning is clear; however, for a listener, it's hard to know which you mean and could cause some confusion. Of course, you might like/want that ambiguity, but my arguments for #2 stand. ;)

    10. Missing avatar

      Shannon Sandridge on December 29, 2011

      i like number two better. it emphasizes the change from her wanting you to care to you now not being able to, and with "what used to come easy now is hard to bare" i wonder what? what's hard to bare? Just being around her or the relationship in general or all the daydreaming you used to do?
      plus i just like it better. SO, i vote #2

    11. Missing avatar

      Liz Purvis on December 29, 2011

      #1...it just...it fits more. In part because she's asking you to assure her that you care two lines before, and in part because "What used to come easy..." just rings very true, I think.

    12. Bethany Haller on December 29, 2011

      # 2 (I can't help you if you won't let me care)

    13. Michelle Carter on December 29, 2011

      *I can't help you. Not sure why I wrote it that way, I'm very sleep deprived.

    14. Michelle Carter on December 29, 2011

      "I can't let you help if you won't let me care." It sounds more natural and works better with the flow. The first one is too awkward syntactically. I also think #2 goes with the line before it much better. If someone is walking through you like you're not there, then they're very indifferent to your presence or input. So it's not about it being easy or difficult. What you're addressing earlier in that verse is her inability to welcome your input anymore. The second line is more congruous with the trajectory of what precedes it, I think.

    15. Mike Gormley on December 29, 2011

      I think the options can completely change the meaning of the song. #1 gives the feeling that it is over, she is gone, and now seeing her breaks your heart; while #2 portrays a girl who reluctantly walked away, is troubled: but will not allow you to help her.

      Hmmm. I am going for #2 here. It leaves open the possibility of hope, that your love will return.

    16. Missing avatar

      Tom McSorley on December 29, 2011

      Definitely #1 and maybe "This used to be easy now it's hard to bare"

    17. Andraya Wimmer on December 29, 2011

      I honestly like both of them! So either or. :)

    18. Missing avatar

      Sarah Elabdi on December 29, 2011

      #1 sounds better. and you already said care(d) earlier in the verse. So #1 :)

    19. Amanda Gail Henry on December 29, 2011

      #1!!!! hits hard!!! love this song!

    20. Missing avatar

      Sara Valentine on December 29, 2011

      #1 definitely. I don't like the "cared" with "care" rhyme, and I feel as if " what used to come easy is now hard to bare" hits hard. Keep it up! I can't wait to hear this! :)

    21. Missing avatar

      chocolate on December 28, 2011

      What used to come easy is now hard to bare.
      love, chocolate

    22. Missing avatar

      Joe Lepore on December 28, 2011

      #2 ... I feel like #1 most of the time, but #2 is more constructive to try to get someone to understand. Keep up the good work Ari!