AN EPIC TALE OF EPIC DEEDS BEGINS!
I began my comedy career in January of 2008. It took four years of hard, grueling work in the open mic mines, eking out a harsh existence of five minute sets, overpriced drinks and poor life decisions
After much time and training my comedic skills and material was honed to a fine, edge-like...edge that...cuts things. Good. Anyway! The stars were finally right, and in the month of May, in the year of our Lord Two-Thousand and Twelve, "It Pains Me" was recorded at the Preservation Pub in Knoxville, TN. The people rejoiced! The good huzzahed and the wicked grumbled ineffectually! Peace was upon the land once again.
BUT DARKNESS LOOMED ON THE HORIZON...
Our valiant hero, though quick with a joke and light on his feet, could not avoid that most ancient and terrible of the comedian's enemies.
"Was it writer's block," you may ask? "No more shows? A burgeoning alcohol problem?"
Worse, my friends. Oh, much worse: unemployment.
With no job and no savings, our plucky young buck is unable to take his fine work and bring it to the waiting public.
THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN!
The forge is burning and the iron is hot. All that's needed now is you. For a few dollars or more, you can help bring "It Pains Me" to life. $200 is all it will take to finish the processing and get the album uploaded onto CDBaby. By donating to this project you can secure a copy all for yourself, plus the undying love and appreciation of our lead protagonist. Plus there'll be unique incentives at various price tiers, such as bonus tracks and signed posters. In addition, if the $200 mark is met and people keep donating above-and-beyond the $200 mark I'll offer fabulous flex-goals and ridiculous rewards, to be named at such a time.
WHY SHOULD I, THE READER, HELP YOU, THE WRITER OF THIS FANTASTICAL TALE?
I'm glad you asked! It's been my dream to be a stand-up comedian since I was 14 years old, staying up late to watch Comedy Central Presents and weirding everyone out by reciting Greg Proops bits at the school talent show. Now in the age of digital media and distribution, it's finally come true. If you're a fan of underground stand-up comedy, geeky humor, tales of young underdogs making good or the almost aggressively weird, there's something on this album for you. The mic is hot and the jokes are sharp. All that's needed now is the audience.
All that's needed now is you.
Thank you for reading this. Thanks in advance for your support. Thanks for wearing clothes in public (I assume. You might not. In which case, thanks for being bold).
Yours, in a manner of speaking,
- (30 days)