About

It means different things to different people:

A playful witticism. 

     A provocative piece of interior design.

          A profound statement on the nature of time.

But however you see it, you'll have to agree...

...it's a clock that says Don't You Fucking Look at Me™  

Passive Aggressive Version
Passive Aggressive Version

  

Aggressive Aggressive Version
Aggressive Aggressive Version
HOW IT WORKS:

1. You hang it on the wall. 
2. You (and guests) absentmindedly look at it, because it's a clock and you're used to looking at clocks.
3. The clock tells you not to fucking look at it.  

Available in your choice of two signature versions -

  • Passive Aggressive (Blue State) 
  • Aggressive Aggressive (Red State)

GET YOURS NOW!!!!

(before Urban Outfitters steals the idea)

DYFLAM™ IS THE ACRONYM

The Don't You Fucking Look at Me Wall Clock™ is DYFLAM's flagship creation. 

Check out our rewards for other DYFLAM products, like the DYFLAM Eye Chart

DYFLAM EYE CHART
DYFLAM EYE CHART

THANK YOU 

Risks and challenges

I don't make the clocks myself - I buy them from a supplier in China, where there are many suppliers of wall clocks. So I feel pretty confident about sourcing wall clocks. Nevertheless, theoretically, there could be some kind of cataclysmic event or series of events that makes it impossible or impractical to buy or import the clocks from China. Basically we're talking about something like the USA and China getting into a trade war major enough to disrupt the export and import of wall clocks, but minor enough not to escalate into something that would make wall clocks, Kickstarter and life as we now know it a haunting memory of how life once was. In the event of a disruption to my supply chain, I will have to find another source for the clocks, which will (ironically, perhaps) take time - and delay the delivery. If I can't find a new source, which, given the fact that wall clocks are not particularly complicated to produce, is unlikely, I'll have to learn how to make the clocks myself, probably from an old person somewhere in the Swiss Alps. I'll be doing all of this even though we don't even need or particularly want our clocks to actually work, and I can imagine that simply explaining this basic premise to an elderly Swiss person who might not speak English will be, if not risky, at least frustrating. In any event, once I have the clocks in my possession (and, for the sake of simplicity, completely discounting the risk of my not being able to procure suitable acrylic paint), the remaining risks lie in my ability to write Don't You Fucking Look at Me on them and deliver them to the backers. As for writing D.Y.F.L.A.M. -- it's something I really enjoy doing, and plan to continue doing by hand until arthritis kicks in. Once that happens, I'll start using a silk screen, which is also fun. If any unforeseen event prevents me from getting DYFLAM on these clocks, I've left explicit instructions to my family on how to complete their production and delivery. But obviously there is always a risk that something terrible will befall all of us, and we will be unable to fulfill the orders, and you'll feel like a real shit-heel for all the terrible things you said about us. As for delivery - approximately 20% of all Americans change their addresses once every eighteen months, so some of your addresses will probably have changed by the time these go out, especially if any of the events anticipated above actually come to fruition. If you forget to update me about your change of address, you won't get the clock. Also, if the price of oil shoots up to levels that make it impossible to ship the clocks to the backers, we will organize Don't You Fucking Look at Me Clock pick-up stations in central locations like the city of Chicago, where you can pick them up (along with a refund for any shipping charges that you paid). Finally, there is the risk that my feelings about time will change, and I won't be able to continue going through the motions of writing Don't You Fucking Look at Me on each clock because it won't be honest. That risk is minimal.

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Support

  1. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 1 or more About US$ 1

    Make Your Own DYFLAM Clock!

    Join a DIY pop art phenomenon! AND help save the environment! Just paint "Don't You Fucking Look At Me" on a clock and hang it on your wall!

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  2. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 15 or more About US$ 15

    DYFLAM Eye Chart

    An 18" x 24" Don't You Fucking Look At Me Eye Chart that you can hang wherever you don't want to look!

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    3 backers
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  3. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 33 or more About US$ 33

    Don't You Fucking Look at Me Clock

    (Passive-Aggressive Version)

    Handmade. Stainless steel. A timeless (get it?) heirloom to pass down from one lazy, worthless generation to another.

    A bit more understated, the Pass-Agg version of our classic clock draws people in before sending them packing.

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    6 backers
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  4. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 34 or more About US$ 34

    Don't You Fucking Look at Me Clock

    (Aggressive-Aggressive Version)

    Handmade. Stainless steel. A timeless (get it?) heirloom to pass down from one lazy, worthless generation to another.

    With loud, attention grabbing writing, the Aggro version doesn't take any chances - it makes sure anyone who sees it gets the message. And that message is Don't You Fucking Look At Me.

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    3 backers
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  5. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 40 or more About US$ 40

    DYLFAM Eye Chart AND Clock!

    by A-Ron's request:

    Get the eye chart AND the clock: two amazing reasons not to fucking look.

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    4 backers
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  6. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 90 or more About US$ 90

    DYFLAM Clock - Signed Edition

    Same as the regular one, but a limited, numbered edition (of 100) signed by the artist.

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    Limited 1 backer
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  7. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 1,000 or more About US$ 1,000

    Don't You Fucking Look at Me Handbag

    Everyone wants to look at your designer handbag. It's time your handbag told them off.

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  8. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 10,000 About US$ 10,000

    DYFLAM One Carat Diamond Solitaire Ring

    Round or square cut 1 carat diamond, with the words "Don't You Fucking Look At Me" microscopically engraved on the diamond.

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Funding period

- (45 days)