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$2,049
pledged of 3.000 $pledged of 3.000 $ goal
60
backers
Funding Canceled
Funding for this project was canceled by the project creator on Nov 25 2015
Last updated November 25, 2015

ZILF! A Comedic Zombie Novel. (Canceled)

A humorous zombie novel written by the dark and demented mind behind the Demon Squad!

ZILF! A Comedic Zombie Novel. (Canceled)

A humorous zombie novel written by the dark and demented mind behind the Demon Squad!

$2,049
pledged of 3.000 $pledged of 3.000 $ goal
60
backers
Funding Canceled
Funding for this project was canceled by the project creator on Nov 25 2015
Last updated November 25, 2015

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    Pledge US$ 2 or more About US$ 2

    A ROTTEN PIECE OF MEAT!

    Be the first to fall beneath the slimy feet of the zombies and get to watch the ZILF! apocalypse from the wrong side of the fence between living and being a rotten piece of mobile meat with no one to chew on.

    Translation: You're an awesome person and you've decided to help fund this project from the front lines where you'll be privy to the snarky and, hopefully, amusing updates.

    But since that sucks, you'll also get a digital download of the cover designed to be used as wallpaper for your computer and my eternal gratitude!

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    A Seat on the Sidelines!

    Not much for getting your hands dirtied up with zombie guts and bits? Completely understandable. After all, not everyone can be a gladiator. The world, such as it is, needs spectators too.

    Translation: We get it, you just want to read a damn book without all the fluff. Fair enough. Back this tier and receive a no-frills, DRM free copy of the ZILF! eBook (in mobi, epub, and PDF formats) without the interior art or having to worry about your name being drawn from a hat. You'll still be included in the acknowledgements section though.

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    THE HORDE!

    Congratulations! You managed to meet up with like-minded zombies and form a chattering and smelly horde of the undead, ready to take on the living and give them...er, take a piece of their mind.

    Translation: You rock and will receive a DRM free eBook copy of ZILF! (in mobi, epub, and PDF formats), including all the groovy interior art by Zombie Idol Carter Reid, and your name in the acknowledgment section of the book. AND, one lucky Horde backer will be chosen for a random shout out in the book!

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    RAVENOUS ZOMBIE!

    You're not just hungry, you're damn hungry. After gnawing off the foot of the smartass kid trying to get away, you eat his face AND the rest of him in one sitting. Screw that guy. If he's coming back it'll be in your belly.

    Translation: You're a little twisted but we still like you. You will receive the DRM free eBook of ZILF! (in mobi, epub, and PDF formats) AND you will get the action-packed and funny as all heck eBook of Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator by the fabulous Karina Fabian! Plus, you'll receive the eBook omnibus of Dead West by Tim, Joe Martin, and Kenny Soward. AND, again, you will get the groovy He Left Her at the Altar, She Left Him for the Zombies by Evil Girlfriend Media's Katie Cord. And, and, and, you get the wicked The Zombie Who Had a Name by James Aquilone. And x4, you will get the eBook of Wild by the vehiculalry named Lincoln Crisler. Lastly, but not leastly, you get Gnomeageddon by the Gnomeagoddess Tonia Brown.

    You will also be added into the acknowledgment section of ZILF!

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    Pledge US$ 25 or more About US$ 25

    SURVIVOR!

    And no, I don't mean the band.

    You've used your wits and mean scrounging skills to stay one step ahead of the Horde. Full of Spam and bloated on Ramen noodles you've carved out your own niche in a tenement apartment with all the rats you could ever need to keep you company during those long, lonely nights.

    Translation: You kick major booty and will receive a trade paperback copy of ZILF (as well as the eBook copies), designed and suffered over by the design genius that is Shawn T. King of STK∙Kreations along with the amazing art of Carter Reid. You will also be added into the acknowledgment section of ZILF!

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    Pledge US$ 30 or more About US$ 30

    VETERAN OF A THOUSAND CAUSTIC SLURS!

    You've racked up a body count of undead scalps and now you can wander the streets at night and feel comfortable you'll make it home to enjoy a hearty breakfast of Froot Loops, powdered milk, and a side of dehydrated bananas.

    Translation: You kick even more booty that the last tier, if you can believe that. You'll receive the same rewards (a trade paperback copy of ZILF! and the eBook) but you will also have it signed and personalized in any way you want within my ability to provide. (I might draw the line at bodily fluids, depending on my mood that day.) You will also be added into the acknowledgment section of ZILF!

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    Pledge US$ 40 or more About US$ 40

    I SURVIVED THE ZOMPOC AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY POSTER!

    Not bad. You've done well for yourself without having to resort to eating your pets or neighbors. At least not because you HAD to. Finally you've dug in and have a place all to yourself. Now all you need is to hang a poster to make your house into a home.

    Translation: You're a trendsetter in the apocalypse. You and your tier mates will get a custom-designed 18x24 sized color poster of the ZILF! experience. You'll also receive a trade paperback copy of ZILF! (as well as the eBook) but you will also have the paperback signed and personalized in any way you want within my ability to provide. You will also be added into the acknowledgment section of ZILF!

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    Pledge US$ 60 or more About US$ 60

    WHO YOU DISSIN'?

    Life in the zombie apocalypse has its perks. Your nosy neighbor all up in your business? Your ex stalking you on social media? Your boss make you stay late that one time when you had a date and just knew you were getting some? Well, the end of the world is here to help with some well-deserved payback.

    Translation: You've been good so here's a zompoc cookie. You get to kill someone in ZILF! Well, I get to kill them but you get to decide who. Each victim will have a name tag (or some kind of identifier) so you know I offed the right person.

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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    DRESSED FOR DISTRESS!

    Got some goo on your battle gear? No worries. It happens when you're a badass. Still, can't romance a Zilf with your swag struggling. Maybe it's time to upgrade.

    Translation: You're styling in the apocalypse but now you need some bling as bright as your smile. But don't worry. Got ya covered. On top of a signed and personalized copy of ZILF! and the 18x24 colored poster you'll receive a ZILF! or a ZILF Hunter T-shirt (in your choice of three colors: white, stone blue, black, or pink. Be sure to mention size and design when pledging: M, L, XL, 2XL.)

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

    *If you want an additional shirt Add $17 for each.

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    Pledge US$ 70 or more About US$ 70

    DESIGN A DEATH!

    Kill, kill, kill! Not only have you survived the zompoc but you've thrived! Your slaughtering skills have become surgical, allowing you to plot and plan your undead victim's demise rather than simply staving its skull in with a ball-peen hammer in an act of desperate flailing.

    Translation: You are a master murder of the undead millions. You get to decide how a kill scene plays out in ZILF!, working with the author to create a one of a kind urban death scene to be acted out in the book.

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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    Pledge US$ 150 or more About US$ 150

    YOU MADE IT!

    While your friends died miserably you were just a little bit quicker, a little bit smarter, or just a little better prepared. Or maybe you were just the first one to think of tripping them when the horde came looking for tasty human vittles. Whatever the reason, you made it `til the end.

    Translation: Your pen never ran out like that person in the tier above. You stomped butt in ZILF! and made it out alive. Or something resembling not dead, Regardless, you get to be one of two primary characters I don't plant in the ground like gooey flowers. (One male and one female character available. Please specify which when backing this tier. First come, first serve.)

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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    Pledge US$ 250 or more About US$ 250

    SCRIBES OF THE AFTERMATH!

    You're a writer, not a fighter. We understand. You'd rather watch from the sidelines, your hands drenched in ink as opposed to blood, chronicling the miserable end of humanity.

    Translation: You're serving mankind by not joining the damn chaos so, in turn,Tim will serve you. And no, not drinks, unfortunately. He will, however, give your completed manuscript (up to 120,000 words) a full edit including complete read of the work and reliable edits/advice regarding plotting, pacing, style, logic, and consistency, as well as a line by line reading of the work to find and fix typos, misspellings, missing words, missing punctuation, word usage, consistency, obvious format errors, and fact checking.

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier as well as an eBook copy of my writing book Grunt Style: The Blue Collar Guide to Writing Genre Fiction.)

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    Pledge US$ 125 or more About US$ 125

    ALMOST!

    The world has ended, you're a badass, and everything is working out fine. Until it isn't. Suddenly you're caught between the zompoc and a hard place and those vicious bastards are eating your toes.

    Translation: You were kicking ass and taking names right up until the moment your pen ran out. Become one of the primary characters in ZILF! and survive for a while, then go out in a blaze of glory. Or not. It really depends but rest assured, you're still dying. (One male and one female character available. Please specify which when backing this tier. First come, first serve.)

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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    LAST PERSON STANDING!

    Perched heroically atop a heap of rotten corpses of everyone who got in your way as you battled to eat the last Twinkie in existence, you reign supreme!

    Translation: You, and only YOU, will become a part of the next apocalypse. Tim will write a 6,000-10,000 word zompoc story, in the style of your choice (comedic, serious, insane, blood-soaked and/or brutal) starring you. The story will be included in the finished book for everyone to marvel at your awesomeness forever defined in print.

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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