$2,049
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60
backers
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Funding Canceled
Funding for this project was canceled by the project creator on Nov 25 2015
$2,049
pledged of $3,000pledged of $3,000 goal
60
backers
0seconds to go
Funding Canceled
Funding for this project was canceled by the project creator on Nov 25 2015

About

The Zombie Apocalypse Like You've Never Seen Before! And YOU can help make it happen!

Join Ashford Dane as his post-apocalyptic existence is thrown into chaos by the sudden arrival of a ZILF!

Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about. If not, look it up. I'll wait...

Comfortably situated at the end of the world Ash stumbles across a group of soldiers traveling through his neighborhood and meets Vix, the hottest pseudo-corpse since Lily Munster. Lonely, and mostly bored off his ass, Ash invites them to dinner only to have uninvited guests show up for a nibble. A cannibalistic nibble, that is, and these guys like their meat burnt.

Ash's home and a lifetime of supplies go up in flames and he's forced to flee with the soldiers. Nowhere else to go he joins their mission: To hunt down the only scientist capable of saving Vix from the horrible infection that threatens to turn her into a full blown zombie. 

Things just go downhill from there, hordes of zombies standing between them and their goal. But hey, if they succeed maybe then Ash'll stand a chance of escaping the dreaded friend zone.

Like the Demon Squad novels, ZILF! will be jam-packed with crazy action, adventure, and excitement, as well as chock full of witty one liners and topical humor (likely requiring some kind of cream) with all the zombie tropes turned on their decayed little heads in fun and interesting ways.

The plan is to have Carter Reid, that guy from the Zombie Nation and the cover artist for the Demon Squad novels since book three, whip up an awe-inspiring cover that, not only will I be proud to showcase, but that YOU'll be super stoked to stare at endlessly, wishing you were standing right there with Ash and Vix. On top of that, Carter will craft five scenes from ZILF! to be included in the book in black and white. (I will post pictures of Carter's ZILF! art as soon as I have something.)

Then Shawn T. King of STK∙Kreations is gonna wrap it all up into a beautiful package (just like he does with everything he works on, be it for Ragnarok Publications or anyone else) and we'll get this bad boy printed and shipped out to you, the Backer of Fabulousness.

Now here's a look at the first page of ZILF!:

The zombie apocalypse arrived without warning.

And Ashford Dane fucking loved it.

Well, not exactly without warning. Anyone with a brain could have seen it coming miles away. That meant the government was blindsided but LARP survivalists like Ash were ready. But seriously, who reanimates an ancient virus and doesn’t expect the zombie apocalypse?

Scientists, that’s who. White-coated nerds with doctorates and not a lick of common sense in their skulls.

“Hey! Let’s play God! What the hell could possibly go wrong?”

Uh…everything. Morons.

For Ash, though, their idiocy was the start of a brand new existence. One that brought his particular set of skills into the limelight: hitting shit with sticks and surviving on Spam and Ramen. He was King of the World now. Mind you his castle was a stuffy studio apartment stocked wall to wall with survival gear and canned foodstuffs, but since he’d offed the property manager with a thrust through her eye hole for trying to eat his brains he didn’t have to pay rent anymore.

It was the little things that made life worth living after the internet crapped out.

Oh, and society too. Can’t forget about those guys. Wannabe gangbangers, bobble-headed celebrities, lying politicians, fanatic government clerks, and terrorists. Yup, it’s a real shame that all of those people up and died.

Insert sarcasm tag for all those having a hard time keeping up.

The end of the world was the best thing to ever happen to it.

 Now that you know what you're getting into, let's take a look at what else you might help to create if the ZILF! campaign funds beyond expectation.

Stretch Goal One: $3,700 = Carter Reid will create 3 more pieces of black and white art for the interior.

Stretch Goal Two: $4,200 = Everyone from the Survivor tier and up will receive a custom-designed ZILF! bookmark.

Stretch Goal Three: $4,400 = Chapter by Committee! Tim will write a bonus ZILF! epilogue featuring Ash and the survivors, incorporating any and all ideas (with a few limitations for legality) posted in the comments after we reach this goal.

Stretch Goal Four: $5,400 = Everyone from the Survivor tier and up will receive a custom-designed ZILF! collectible pewter coin.

Stretch Goal Five: $6,200 = Everyone from the Survivor tier and up will receive a custom-designed ZILF! bumper sticker.

Stretch Goal Six: $8,200 = Everyone who backed ZILF! will get a copy of the audio book on top of all the previous goals and rewards, the story professionally narrated and produced by Noah Michael Levine, the voice of Frank "Triggaltheron" Trigg in the Demon Squad audio books. 

Stretch Goal Five: Plotting! There will be coolness when we get to this point.

Stretch Goal Six: Plotting! There will be even more coolness here.

And here's a look at the T-shirt designs for the Dressed for Distress tier:

Here are the books you get in the RAVENOUS ZOMBIE tier:

NEETA LYFFE, Zombie Exterminator eBooks provided by the generous and awesome Karina Fabian. Check out her books HERE!

Dead West omnibus generously provided by Joe Martin and Kenny Soward by way of Ragnarok Publications.

He Left Her at the Altar, She Left Him to the Zombies is provided by the generous and wonderful Katie Cord of Evil Girlfriend Media.

The Zombie Who Had a Name is provided by the fantastically groovy James Aquilone of SF Signal.

Wild provided by the Live-Action GI Joe that is Lincoln Crisler.

Gnomeageddon generously provided by the Gnomestress herself, Tonia Brown.

AND, if you're into card games, Ragnarok Publications is still funding stretch goals on Mark Lawrence's Horsemen of the Apocalypse right here on Kickstarter. Here's a look at the game. Stop by to see the real deal.

Risks and challenges

While this is the first Kickstarter project I've managed entirely on my own I've been a part of four successful campaigns with my publishing house Ragnarok Publications (alongside my partner in crime Joe Martin.) Those campaigns are Blackguards, Kaiju Rising, Genius Loci, and Mark Lawrence's Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

On top of being an author, I'm an editor and publisher and have published 31 of my own books since 2009, not including anthology appearances. On top of that, I write quickly and already have a nice chunk of ZILF! in the bag so I foresee no problems barring those of a catastrophic nature such as World War III or, ironically enough, a zombie apocalypse.

I've also worked with both Carter Reid and Shawn King before and know how they operate. They will perform above and beyond expectation, in a timely manner, and help me to produce awesome for all of you to enjoy.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $2 or more About $2.00

    A ROTTEN PIECE OF MEAT!

    Be the first to fall beneath the slimy feet of the zombies and get to watch the ZILF! apocalypse from the wrong side of the fence between living and being a rotten piece of mobile meat with no one to chew on.

    Translation: You're an awesome person and you've decided to help fund this project from the front lines where you'll be privy to the snarky and, hopefully, amusing updates.

    But since that sucks, you'll also get a digital download of the cover designed to be used as wallpaper for your computer and my eternal gratitude!

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    Pledge $5 or more About $5

    A Seat on the Sidelines!

    Not much for getting your hands dirtied up with zombie guts and bits? Completely understandable. After all, not everyone can be a gladiator. The world, such as it is, needs spectators too.

    Translation: We get it, you just want to read a damn book without all the fluff. Fair enough. Back this tier and receive a no-frills, DRM free copy of the ZILF! eBook (in mobi, epub, and PDF formats) without the interior art or having to worry about your name being drawn from a hat. You'll still be included in the acknowledgements section though.

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    Pledge $8 or more About $8

    THE HORDE!

    Congratulations! You managed to meet up with like-minded zombies and form a chattering and smelly horde of the undead, ready to take on the living and give them...er, take a piece of their mind.

    Translation: You rock and will receive a DRM free eBook copy of ZILF! (in mobi, epub, and PDF formats), including all the groovy interior art by Zombie Idol Carter Reid, and your name in the acknowledgment section of the book. AND, one lucky Horde backer will be chosen for a random shout out in the book!

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    Pledge $18 or more About $18

    RAVENOUS ZOMBIE!

    You're not just hungry, you're damn hungry. After gnawing off the foot of the smartass kid trying to get away, you eat his face AND the rest of him in one sitting. Screw that guy. If he's coming back it'll be in your belly.

    Translation: You're a little twisted but we still like you. You will receive the DRM free eBook of ZILF! (in mobi, epub, and PDF formats) AND you will get the action-packed and funny as all heck eBook of Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator by the fabulous Karina Fabian! Plus, you'll receive the eBook omnibus of Dead West by Tim, Joe Martin, and Kenny Soward. AND, again, you will get the groovy He Left Her at the Altar, She Left Him for the Zombies by Evil Girlfriend Media's Katie Cord. And, and, and, you get the wicked The Zombie Who Had a Name by James Aquilone. And x4, you will get the eBook of Wild by the vehiculalry named Lincoln Crisler. Lastly, but not leastly, you get Gnomeageddon by the Gnomeagoddess Tonia Brown.

    You will also be added into the acknowledgment section of ZILF!

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    Pledge $25 or more About $25

    SURVIVOR!

    And no, I don't mean the band.

    You've used your wits and mean scrounging skills to stay one step ahead of the Horde. Full of Spam and bloated on Ramen noodles you've carved out your own niche in a tenement apartment with all the rats you could ever need to keep you company during those long, lonely nights.

    Translation: You kick major booty and will receive a trade paperback copy of ZILF (as well as the eBook copies), designed and suffered over by the design genius that is Shawn T. King of STK∙Kreations along with the amazing art of Carter Reid. You will also be added into the acknowledgment section of ZILF!

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    Pledge $30 or more About $30

    VETERAN OF A THOUSAND CAUSTIC SLURS!

    You've racked up a body count of undead scalps and now you can wander the streets at night and feel comfortable you'll make it home to enjoy a hearty breakfast of Froot Loops, powdered milk, and a side of dehydrated bananas.

    Translation: You kick even more booty that the last tier, if you can believe that. You'll receive the same rewards (a trade paperback copy of ZILF! and the eBook) but you will also have it signed and personalized in any way you want within my ability to provide. (I might draw the line at bodily fluids, depending on my mood that day.) You will also be added into the acknowledgment section of ZILF!

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    Pledge $40 or more About $40

    I SURVIVED THE ZOMPOC AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY POSTER!

    Not bad. You've done well for yourself without having to resort to eating your pets or neighbors. At least not because you HAD to. Finally you've dug in and have a place all to yourself. Now all you need is to hang a poster to make your house into a home.

    Translation: You're a trendsetter in the apocalypse. You and your tier mates will get a custom-designed 18x24 sized color poster of the ZILF! experience. You'll also receive a trade paperback copy of ZILF! (as well as the eBook) but you will also have the paperback signed and personalized in any way you want within my ability to provide. You will also be added into the acknowledgment section of ZILF!

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    Pledge $60 or more About $60

    WHO YOU DISSIN'?

    Life in the zombie apocalypse has its perks. Your nosy neighbor all up in your business? Your ex stalking you on social media? Your boss make you stay late that one time when you had a date and just knew you were getting some? Well, the end of the world is here to help with some well-deserved payback.

    Translation: You've been good so here's a zompoc cookie. You get to kill someone in ZILF! Well, I get to kill them but you get to decide who. Each victim will have a name tag (or some kind of identifier) so you know I offed the right person.

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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    Pledge $60 or more About $60

    DRESSED FOR DISTRESS!

    Got some goo on your battle gear? No worries. It happens when you're a badass. Still, can't romance a Zilf with your swag struggling. Maybe it's time to upgrade.

    Translation: You're styling in the apocalypse but now you need some bling as bright as your smile. But don't worry. Got ya covered. On top of a signed and personalized copy of ZILF! and the 18x24 colored poster you'll receive a ZILF! or a ZILF Hunter T-shirt (in your choice of three colors: white, stone blue, black, or pink. Be sure to mention size and design when pledging: M, L, XL, 2XL.)

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

    *If you want an additional shirt Add $17 for each.

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    Pledge $70 or more About $70

    DESIGN A DEATH!

    Kill, kill, kill! Not only have you survived the zompoc but you've thrived! Your slaughtering skills have become surgical, allowing you to plot and plan your undead victim's demise rather than simply staving its skull in with a ball-peen hammer in an act of desperate flailing.

    Translation: You are a master murder of the undead millions. You get to decide how a kill scene plays out in ZILF!, working with the author to create a one of a kind urban death scene to be acted out in the book.

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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    Pledge $125 or more About $125

    ALMOST!

    The world has ended, you're a badass, and everything is working out fine. Until it isn't. Suddenly you're caught between the zompoc and a hard place and those vicious bastards are eating your toes.

    Translation: You were kicking ass and taking names right up until the moment your pen ran out. Become one of the primary characters in ZILF! and survive for a while, then go out in a blaze of glory. Or not. It really depends but rest assured, you're still dying. (One male and one female character available. Please specify which when backing this tier. First come, first serve.)

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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    Pledge $150 or more About $150

    YOU MADE IT!

    While your friends died miserably you were just a little bit quicker, a little bit smarter, or just a little better prepared. Or maybe you were just the first one to think of tripping them when the horde came looking for tasty human vittles. Whatever the reason, you made it `til the end.

    Translation: Your pen never ran out like that person in the tier above. You stomped butt in ZILF! and made it out alive. Or something resembling not dead, Regardless, you get to be one of two primary characters I don't plant in the ground like gooey flowers. (One male and one female character available. Please specify which when backing this tier. First come, first serve.)

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    LAST PERSON STANDING!

    Perched heroically atop a heap of rotten corpses of everyone who got in your way as you battled to eat the last Twinkie in existence, you reign supreme!

    Translation: You, and only YOU, will become a part of the next apocalypse. Tim will write a 6,000-10,000 word zompoc story, in the style of your choice (comedic, serious, insane, blood-soaked and/or brutal) starring you. The story will be included in the finished book for everyone to marvel at your awesomeness forever defined in print.

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier.)

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    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    SCRIBES OF THE AFTERMATH!

    You're a writer, not a fighter. We understand. You'd rather watch from the sidelines, your hands drenched in ink as opposed to blood, chronicling the miserable end of humanity.

    Translation: You're serving mankind by not joining the damn chaos so, in turn,Tim will serve you. And no, not drinks, unfortunately. He will, however, give your completed manuscript (up to 120,000 words) a full edit including complete read of the work and reliable edits/advice regarding plotting, pacing, style, logic, and consistency, as well as a line by line reading of the work to find and fix typos, misspellings, missing words, missing punctuation, word usage, consistency, obvious format errors, and fact checking.

    (You also receive the extra rewards of the Veteran of a Thousand Caustic Slurs tier as well as an eBook copy of my writing book Grunt Style: The Blue Collar Guide to Writing Genre Fiction.)

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Funding period

- (30 days)