Share this project


Share this project

Coming & Crying: real stories about sex from the other side of the bed's video poster
pledged of $3,000 goal
seconds to go


This project was successfully funded on March 1, 2010.

A book of stories & photos about sex as it really is: messy, awkward, hilarious, painful, true.

New York, NY Nonfiction
Share this project

About this project

Meaghan and Melissa (or, "we") met because of the internet and writing, and writing about sex (and blogging about writing about sex). Almost since then, we've been talking about how we need to do a book like this: a collection of stories (and photographs) from the messy, awkward, hilarious, painful, and ultimately true side of sex.

As part of this project, all of the money we raise together will go towards producing the book and to paying its contributors. The more we bring in, the more we can put out -- a prettier book, bigger take-home for our writers and photographers, and fancier packages for all those who pledge.

(Update!: Yes, we've made our target goal together -- ! So now every cent you back us with does two things: secures you a copy of this first edition, and adds some more gold to our budget so we can make this first edition even more fantastic for everyone.)

We want to produce this book because we want to read it; it's something we've been looking for for a long time and haven't found yet. Compelling writing that doesn't skip over the interesting parts, writing that is willing to go there, to be brave and to dwell in it, the way few published authors have.

But where we did find this kind of work was online. It seems like everywhere we looked there were people, emboldened maybe by that distance of the computer monitor or the semi-anonymity of a username, drawn out by the encouragement of these little pockets of internet communities, pushing each other to report back from the thick of things, and to do it well.

The lack of good storytelling about sex in print feels ridiculous, bizarre. And now that we have on-demand publishers, Kickstarter, and an internet community of contributors and supporters and potential audience looking to fill the very same void, there is no longer any excuse.

Coming & Crying (the pitch) is made possible by:

editors: Melissa Gira Grant and Meaghan O'Connell videography: Carlo de Jesus cast: Meaghan (subway), Will McGinn (cafe), Melissa (bed), with stories by Meaghan, Matthew Lawrence, and Melissa emotional support from: Sarah Dennis, Halle Keifer, Kelsey Keith, Katie West, Nikola Tamindzic, Stephen Elliott, and the internet like you.


Have a question? If the info above doesn't help, you can ask the project creator directly.

Ask a question


  • You selected
    Pledge $1 or more

    39 backers

    DEAR INTERNET: This is where you get access to all of our project updates. Which is like reading gchat over our shoulders for a few months. But better edited (and sometimes with pictures).

  • You selected
    Pledge $15 or more

    352 backers

    REVIVE A DYING MEDIUM: Reserve your copy of Coming & Crying, a real life book, to take with you on the train or to the bar or under the covers, when your eyes are tired from reading your computer screen or your iPhone has run out of battery.

  • You selected
    Pledge $25 or more

    22 backers

    OVERDRAFTERS ANONYMOUS: Buy the book AND send a book to someone who needs to spend their $15 on 500 packages of Ramen. Because we've all been there, too, and this book goes GREAT with soup.

  • You selected
    Pledge $30 or more

    176 backers

    NOW WITH VISUAL AIDS: Pay a little extra (okay, double) to enjoy your copy of Coming & Crying with a limited edition collection of photos. Your favorite photographers have promised us pictures you can hold in your hands, frame on your wall, or send to your Internet girlfriend (no judgment).

  • You selected
    Pledge $40 or more

    19 backers

    OVERDRAFTERS ANON, PLUS!: Just like the first one, but you want the photos, too (but who could blame you?)! Pay $10 more and send somebody else the book, too.

  • You selected
    Pledge $50 or more

    9 backers

    I WOULD NEVER ASK YOU TO DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO: With this, you get the book with photos, and -- you're invited to a private evening of readings with Coming & Crying contributors, for our backers-only (and your guest of choice), staged in a very controlled environment, curated by Melissa and recorded by Nikola Tamindzic.

  • You selected
    Pledge $75 or more

    21 backers

    YOU AUTOCOMPLETE US: You get everything we just said, but your Thank You will come with a barrage of exclamation points and smiley faces, in a gchat scheduled at your convenience. And if we really like you, then we'll put your name in the book. (We will).

  • You selected
    Pledge $150 or more

    2 backers Limited (8 left of 10)

    A PRIVATE READING IN A PUBLIC PLACE: Just like it says. Get the book, with photos, and we'll invite you to meet us in a cafe or bar in New York or Brooklyn to give you a private reading from one of our stories, for ten minutes or ten pages, whichever is less awkward. (If you aren't in New York or Brooklyn and want to pledge a private reading for a pal who is, get in touch and we'll find a way.)

  • You selected
    Pledge $151 or more

    1 backer

    A PRIVATE READING IN A PUBLIC PLACE (for the internet): Just like the above package, except: you have our permission to kindly give your reading away to a person on the internet (who we will then meet in Brooklyn or New York, in a public place, etc. etc.).

  • You selected
    Pledge $300 or more

    2 backers Limited (2 left of 4)

    CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: In addition to the book and photos, one of us will write a story just for you. Pick your writer, your topic, and, well, not much more because you're paying us to use our imaginations, right? Share it with the internet or don't -- it's all up to you.

  • You selected
    Pledge $1,000 or more

    1 backer

    SO YOU DON'T WORK IN PUBLISHING(?): You not only get a book (and photos), but also a bonus copy inscribed by the both of us for the object(s) of your desire (but nothing stalkery or too weird), and a private reading in a public place, AND you also will help us pay our contributors more, make things fancier, and throw a better book party. The more money you help us raise, the more wonderful things can be for everyone.

    We thank you, the Internet thanks you, and people everywhere who have sex and have feelings want to give you a hug.

Funding period

- (43 days)