We get asked a lot, what do you mean by thing? The Thing of a Widget is a bottle opener, screwdriver, wrench, pry bar, phone stand, cat toy, amazing fidget toy, and all around fun and sometimes useful widget. Currently we are testing to see if the Thing of a Widget can be used for other tasks including a bomb diffusion apparatus, glass blowing tool, signal generator, self-defense instrument, artist master tool (painting/wood), safecracker, cooking utensil, Saint Bernard toy, the device your uncle can not stop talking about, and “you know, that thing.” We will provide an update on the Thing of a Widgets capabilities, based on the samples we have sent out to various third-party lab verifications.
The Thing of a Widget is a highly engineered device with lockable linkages that allow the user to change and manipulate the shape. We designed the Thing of a Widget to be small and lightweight so that it can fit on any standard tabletop or in a jean pocket, front side of course! After years of playing solitaire, we mean months of work, we are very interested in observing the Thing of a Widget in the wild.
Thing: An object that one need not, cannot, or does not wish to give a specific name to
Widget: A small gadget or mechanical device, especially one whose name is unknown or unspecified
Thing of a Widget: A physical thing and widget that allows the user customize as desired
How do I use that thing?
It's simple, you can slide, spin, poke, and throw the Thing of a Widget into a desired shape to accomplish a task, or not. Just ask Frank, “the best way to use it is just to start messing with it. Here is a 3D rendering of our thing and an example of what happens when it gets loose.”
Outside Material options: Aluminum, Copper, Brass, Titanium
Inside Material options: Aluminum and Titanium
Dimensions: 2.00’’ (50.8mm) x 1.00’’ (25.4 mm) x 0.375’’ (9.525 mm)
Weight: Depends on material, but usually less than 1.234 lb (moon weight 0.2 lb)
Where are we in our Widget production?
Good news, we are mostly done and ready to spend long nights in production. We have a lot of working versions, 18 generations of prototypes, 45 CAD generations. Depending on demand (hoping for good thoughts) we will start ordering supplies to produce your widget in house/shop. If something interesting happens, like you wonderful people out there in the internet, we have formed great relationships with local manufacturing companies and could go with plan 'B-0.3'. However, we would prefer to manufacture everything in-house. Quality is very important to us! Outside manufacturers might get annoyed when we sleep on the shop floor in order to make sure the quality is up to our standards.
We have built a high-quality product and are very excited to release our thing, your widget into this little world. While we like to have fun, we are very professional and will continue to work day and night to get our product into your hands, pockets, backpacks, other. Below, you will see a brief outline of our journey and our expected timeline.
According to our scientist, Thing of a Widget will hit terminal velocity in approximately...... ok ok. Seriously please write us and we will do our best to get back to you.
What kind of tests have you done?
We have conducted many tests. One of the tests, we place the Thing of a Widget into a random person's hand. The initial response tends to be "what is this thing?" But after close observation, the subject begins to mess with the device and turns it into something they think is cool. Everyone sees and uses it differently.
Some of the study results:
- 0.3-5 minutes: the test subject makes an object that they think is cool
- 5-15 minutes: the test subject changes the Thing of a Widgets shape 30.6 times.
>15 minutes: the test subject asks us if he/she can have it. We sadly say no because we are still conducting testing.
*No subjects were harmed in the creative process, all walked away with a heightened imaginations.
Is Thing of a Widget alive?
As far as we can tell no. Thing of a Widget is a fun metal device, but maybe one day?
Why is your number $14,439?
We are proud Coloradans and Mount Elbert (CO) is 14,439', but let's be serious for a second. We have produced multiple bill-of-materials and manufacturing reports. We would like to purchase more equipment to increase efficiency. This desired amount came rather close to Mount Elbert's elevation. As Colorado natives, with the Rocky Mountains as our backyard playground, it is in our nature to scale and climb. We always strive to ascend to greater heights in achievement and innovation.
What type/grade of aluminum/aluminium are you using?
Currently, we are testing 6061 and 7075 aircraft grade aluminum with a select group of Boulderite subjects. The test subjects are using their widgets to achieve the unbelievable. So far both grades are holding up spectacularly, even to extreme goat usages. We will continue to observe the test subjects over the next few weeks and make a determination based on longevity and quality of finish.
Speical Thanks to: