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An R-rated day in the life of the freaks, geeks and nerds running a comic book store. (No, this is not another documentary)

An R-rated day in the life of the freaks, geeks and nerds running a comic book store. (No, this is not another documentary)

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put away childish things... on the shelf behind me at the comic book store." They say that if you do what you love you'll never work a day in your life, but every man comes to the realization that what he loves is actually juvenile and meaningless.Virgins Assemble follows the "lives" of five employees of a comic book store who thought they were living their dreams of making a living doing what they love only to slowly realize that they've actually been locked in a vicious stalemate for the last several years against the enemy within... ambition. 


Play sidekick to our heroes on their journey of vicious self discovery as they come to grips with the fact that their perpetual slacking is an affront to all they believe in and a slap in the face to the superheroes that inspired them.  See their inadequacies and failures! Feel their defeats and frustrations. Cheer along with their non-successes and misadventures! 

Virgins Assemble is not just a movie. It is a genuflection to the 90's Slacker movies that we loved and the comic books we read while waiting in line to see them. It is our way of lighting a candle on the altar of all that was once holy to us. It is our obeisance to the cosmic rays and irradiated spider bites that transformed us into who we are. It is the oath we speak while recharging our powers. It is the spacecraft that brought us to Earth. It is our unbreakable shield. It murdered our parents. 

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    You, loyal fan and benefactor, get a digital download of the film, after it's premiered.

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    Free ticket to the premiere of the film, as well as food and drink at the premiere. It'll be good, nothing vegan-y.

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    You can be on the commentary for the DVD (provided you transport yourself to the studio), and we will use a joke of your creation in the script.

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    You get a walk-on role in the film. Immortalized on celluloid. You gotta get there yourself, though. Oh, also, you get to be in an interview we're doing! You join the cast for an interview with a well-known radio personality.

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    You get to kiss one of the gorgeous actresses from the movie, at the premiere!! Don't worry guys (and gals?), she's been tested!!!! If you happen to be female, we'll even videotape it!!! ;)

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