Introducing Screaming Baby Dice, the world's first dice that give plausible reasons why your precious little darling won't JUST STOP CRYING FOR LIKE, FIVE MINUTES! I JUST CHANGED...Sorry.
After many years of in-depth study and using sophisticated statistical analysis techniques, research shows that babies cry a lot. But a few years of semi-attentive parenting also indicate that they don't cry for that many reasons. It's certainly possible that your baby is crying because she's pondering the unbearable ennui that is life in this modern age, but she also might be hungry.
Just roll the dice to reveal one of 36 possible explanations. With those odds, they're at least as accurate as a new parent's intuition.
Screaming Baby Dice make the perfect baby shower gift, or hand them to your seatmates on the airplane so they can amuse themselves for several of the hundreds of minutes your baby will spend making their flight an unbearable nightmare.
Screaming Baby Dice come in your choice of gender normative pink and blue versions. These oversize dice measure 22mm to a side (standard gaming dice are 16mm). The whimsical designs are intended to distract you from the fact that your baby will probably keep crying no matter what you do. But check out the whimsy!
The design for Cranky is also available on our custom pacifiers, which are perhaps the only useful tool in the event of crankiness.
For those that demand only the very best in their infant novelty products, we are producing a limited run of titanium dice. These metal dice make a fine heirloom and will last generations. If you're lucky, one day you can pass them on to your own children, although anecdotal reports from grandparents indicate that grandchildren never cry anyway.
If the campaign funds successfully, we will place the order with the manufacturer immediately. Manufacturing time depends on the volume ordered, but their best estimate is 6-10 weeks. This includes time to receive and review proofs, fabricate the dice, and ship them to our warehouse in the United States. If all goes to plan, you should receive your rewards in or around August.
For media inquiries or other information, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Risks and challenges
Risks for the project are extremely low. Custom dice are an established product and we've selected a manufacturer who can easily handle a wide range of volumes. They are recognized as one of the top custom dice manufacturers in the world. Shipping and fulfillment will be handled by a professional third-party logistics service. Note that backers outside the United States will be responsible for any taxes or duty due upon receipt.
This is the second Kickstarter campaign from Unusual Accomplishments, and the lessons learned from the first will help make this one even smoother than the last.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
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