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Petite porcelain plates with calamities—monkey percussionists and more.
Petite porcelain plates with calamities—monkey percussionists and more.
950 backers pledged $71,012 to help bring this project to life.

About

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Dubious Musicians: Funny, Little Calamityware Plates

$71,012

950

Making beautiful music requires energy and enthusiasm. 

Of course, making terrible music also requires energy and enthusiasm. 

No musicians can match the energy and enthusiasm of monkey percussionists.

This project is about producing a set of four, diminutive Calamityware plates decorated with four rambunctious musicians. 

Four different musicians and four different borders mean you’ll never get bored looking at the same old plate.
Four different musicians and four different borders mean you’ll never get bored looking at the same old plate.

A true work of art. Like the previous Calamityware dinner plates, these petite plates will be fine porcelain produced at the award-winning Kristoff workshop in Poland using the in-glaze technique. Final production will feature white porcelain with a rich blue image. Food safe, microwave safe, and dishwasher safe.

Design 1
Design 1
Design 2
Design 2
Design 3
Design 3
Design 4
Design 4

These plates will make an excellent gift for your friends who are...
• Dessert eaters
• Musicians
• Music-lovers
• Monkeys 
• Discriminating connoisseurs of life’s finer things

Small plate compared to a Calamityware dinner plate.
Small plate compared to a Calamityware dinner plate.

The diameter of each small plate measures 7" (18 cm). They are perfect for desserts or as your bread plate. The prototypes have been tested with snacks too and proved to be more than satisfactory.

Size of previous plates compared to Dubious Musicians plates.
Size of previous plates compared to Dubious Musicians plates.

In-glaze porcelain is fired at extra-high temperatures to allow the image to melt slightly into the surface of the platter. Connoisseurs will appreciate the beauty of the in-glaze technique which the artists at Kristoff have been refining since 1831. This is the look of porcelain you see in museums.  Sweet.

You can use these plates as your bread plate or for desserts. And don’t forget snacks.
You can use these plates as your bread plate or for desserts. And don’t forget snacks.

Caring for porcelain is easy. How much pampering you give your porcelain should depend on how long you want it to last. I wrote a blog post that offers practical advice about living with porcelain. Read it and follow the advice if you want to keep your porcelain pristine.

SCHEDULE

When can I expect my reward? Assuming nothing calamitous happens, you should be dining with these musical primates in August 2018. Perhaps sooner.

A perfect size for your famous tarts.
A perfect size for your famous tarts.

 SHIPPING

Shipping is free in the U.S. If you live elsewhere, Kickstarter will calculate any additional shipping cost and add it to your pledge total.

International shipping. Dubious Musician plates can ship anywhere in the world. Orders outside the U.S. have a postage charge that varies depending on where the package is going. Porcelain is heavy, so postage costs are shockingly high. But for a treasured heirloom that may last generations, perhaps you can justify the expense.

Read this if you are outside the U.S. In some countries, customs duties may be applied to porcelain shipments. I have no way of predicting if they’ll apply to your shipment. Customs inspections are very arbitrary and willy-nilly. Most packages sail through without any duty, but some are selected by chance and the recipient gets hit with a duty fee. So if you can’t tolerate the risk that your shipment might get selected for extra costs, you should probably not support this project. Or arrange to have your reward shipped to a friend in the U.S. who can bring you your porcelain in their luggage next trip.

Customs inspectors can be arbitrary and unpredictable. We’ll be using the U.S. Postal Service for these shipments because that seems to minimize the number of packages that get hit with customs fees, and there are no extra broker fees added.

Pay attention. If you are an international sponsor and receive a tracking number when we ship, track your package daily to make sure it doesn’t get hung up in the system and returned to us. Don’t just assume it will show up at your door. Shipments have a way of getting stalled, and monitoring the status of the tracking number allows you to intervene promptly.

Upgrade your snacking experience.
Upgrade your snacking experience.

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Project updates. Sponsors of this project will receive periodic updates through Kickstarter as the project unfolds but not so often that I’ll feel like a pest. You can also receive a trickle of news about designing, producing, and enjoying Calamityware plates (and the other projects Don is working on) by liking the Calamityware Facebook page.

Questions? Send me your questions and I’ll add them and the answers to the FAQ section of this page.

Previous Calamityware plates. If you missed my previous Kickstarter projects, you’ll find extras from the production run from most of my previous projects at Calamityware.com. While supplies last. Not just porcelain—there are some other unusual products there, too, that began as Kickstarter-Don projects.

Want to see more of Don’s drawings? I post a new drawing of something almost every day on Flickr. You can see my preliminary Calamityware sketches and drawings in this Flickr album.

Don
Pittsburgh, April 30, 2018

Even your tiramisu will taste better on a whimsical plate.
Even your tiramisu will taste better on a whimsical plate.

Risks and challenges

Countless things could go wrong to delay this project. But the design is done and the pre-production proofs have been approved. So if I get enough sponsors, I will green-light production right away without waiting until the project closes.

I’m using a workshop that produces porcelain for monarchs and potentates and has perfected production techniques over 180 years. So technical problems are unlikely.

If you have supported my previous Kickstarter projects, you know I always come through. Frequently, I complete my projects ahead of schedule. In any case, you’ll get updates so you know what’s going on.

Learn about accountability on Kickstarter

Questions about this project? Check out the FAQ

Support

  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $48 or more About $48

    A: One set of petite plates

    4 plates enlivened with four different monkey percussionists.

    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    542 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  2. Select this reward

    Pledge $90 or more About $90

    B: Two sets of petite plates

    8 plates enlivened with four different monkey percussionists—two each of four different designs.

    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    278 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  3. Select this reward

    Pledge $129 or more About $129

    C: Three sets of petite plates

    12 plates enlivened with four different monkey percussionists—three each of four different designs.

    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    97 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.
  4. Select this reward

    Pledge $168 or more About $168

    D: Four sets of petite plates

    16 plates enlivened with four different monkey percussionists—four each of four different designs.

    Less
    Estimated delivery
    Ships to Anywhere in the world
    28 backers
    $
    Kickstarter is not a store.

    It's a way to bring creative projects to life.

    Learn more about accountability.

Funding period

- (25 days)