About this project
I love to draw. The drawings I like best make me laugh.
This project is about producing museum-quality dinner plates with the added zest of impending calamity that modern audiences crave. Imagine your guests discovering zombie poodles or a flying dinosaur behind their Chicken Piccata!
To take advantage of an early production window, I am offering two Calamityware™ plate designs in one Kickstarter project. These are plates 11 and 12 in my long-running series. Many people said they are eager to get all the designs as soon as possible, so offering two designs at once should make you happy.
In case you missed the previous Kickstarter projects, there’s even a pledge level (H) to allow you to get all four plate designs from Calamityware Series 3.
Top quality. Like the previous Calamityware dinner plates, these plates will be produced at the award-winning Kristoff workshop in Poland using the in-glaze technique. Final production will feature white porcelain with a rich blue image—destined to become treasured family heirlooms.
In-glaze plates are fired at extra-high temperatures to allow the image to melt slightly into the surface of the plate. Connoisseurs will appreciate the beauty of the in-glaze technique which the artists at Kristoff have been refining since 1831. This is the look of porcelain you see in museums. Sweet.
Series 3. The Series includes  Too Many Frogs  Jogging Sasquatch,  Zombie Poodles, and  Pterodactyl. This Kickstarter project introduces both of the last two plate designs. In case you missed the previous 2016 Kickstarter projects, there’s a pledge level (H) to get the whole series with one pledge. I expect all these rewards to ship before the end of October, probably sooner.
Will all the plates in this series match? No. The designs of the plate borders and central image of each Calamityware plate are different. If you appreciate the notion of “eclectic,” you’ll be delighted. But if you are a perfectionist about matching, you should order enough of your favorite Calamityware plate so all your guests have the same design.
For nerds only. Yes, I know that pterodactyl isn’t the right term. I should be calling the creature a pteranodon (large body, crest on head, short tail. no teeth). But there are three problems with that term. 1. No one seems to know what I’m talking about. But when I say pterodactyl, folks get it right away. 2. Pteranodon is bland and somehow doesn’t convey the mystery and sinister glamor that pterodactyl has. 3. I’m an old guy and my capacity to absorb new stuff is pathetically limited. I still think Pluto is a planet.
Unmatched gift potential. Isn’t it obvious that Calamityware porcelain dinner plates make superb gifts? Maybe you should get some extras?
When can I expect my Calamityware plates? Assuming nothing calamitous happens, everyone should have their rewards before the end of October 2016. Probably sooner.
Free shipping in USA. If you live in the United States, there’s no additional charge to deliver your reward to your door. We’ll also apply the amount we’ve budgeted for postage to international orders, so international sponsors only need to pay the extra amount beyond what a U.S. shipment costs.
International shipping. Calamityware plates can ship anywhere in the world. Orders outside the U.S. have a postage charge that varies depending on where the package is going. Porcelain plates are heavy, so postage costs are shockingly high. But for a treasured heirloom that may last generations, perhaps you can justify the expense.
Read this if you are outside the U.S. In some countries, customs duties may be applied to plate shipments. I have no way of predicting if they’ll apply to your shipment. Customs inspections are very arbitrary and willy-nilly. Most packages sail through without any duty, but some are selected by chance and the recipient gets hit with a duty fee. So if you can’t tolerate the risk that your shipment might get selected for extra costs, you should probably not support this project. Or arrange to have your reward shipped to a friend in the U.S. who can bring you your porcelain in their luggage next trip.
We’ll be using the U.S. Postal Service for the international shipments because that seems to minimize the number of packages that get hit with customs fees, and there are no extra broker fees added.
Pay attention. If you are an international sponsor and receive a tracking number when we ship, track your package daily to make sure it doesn’t get hung up in the system and returned to us. Don’t just assume it will show up at your door. Shipments have a way of getting stalled, and monitoring the status of the tracking number allows you to intervene promptly.
What’s going on? Sponsors of this project will receive periodic updates through Kickstarter as the project unfolds. You can also receive a trickle of news about designing, producing, and enjoying Calamityware plates (and the other projects Don is working on) by liking the Calamityware Facebook page.
Caring for porcelain is easy. How much pampering you give your porcelain should depend on how long you want it to last. I wrote a blog post that offers practical advice about living with porcelain. Read it and follow the advice if you want to keep your porcelain pristine.
Questions? Send me your questions and I’ll add them and the answers to the FAQ section of this page.
Previous Calamityware plates. If you missed my previous Kickstarter projects, you’ll find a few earlier plates at Calamityware.com. There are some other unusual products there, too, that began as Kickstarter-Don projects.
Risks and challenges
Countless things could go wrong to delay this project. But the design is done and the pre-production proofs have been approved. So if I get enough sponsors for a production run, I can green-light production right away.
I’m using a workshop that produces porcelain for monarchs and potentates and has perfected production techniques over 180 years. So technical problems are unlikely. The biggest risk is that the finished plates won’t catch the cargo ship we want and will have to come over on the sister ship a month later.
I promise that I’ll do everything I can to accelerate the production and logistics steps. I’ll give you steady updates all along the way.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
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