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HITS - A Film By David Cross
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DOWNLOADABLE HITS FILM GRAFFITI STENCIL - For you to do with whatever you wish. As long as it's semi-legal.
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SHOUT OUT ON DAVID CROSS' FACEBOOK PAGE - By name, by me. See your name in lights (sort of) written in that "classic" facebook font!
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DELETED SCENE FROM FILM, EXCLUSIVE TO KICKSTARTER BACKERS – I’ll send you one of my favorite scenes that didn’t make it into the film to thank you for your support. This will be just for backers.
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The Above Stencil and a LIMITED EDITION DAVID CROSS BUTTON - Use it to keep something from fraying further or just to cover up unsightly blemishes. The choice is limitless*
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*actually quite limited.Estimated deliveryShips to Anywhere in the world42 backers -
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FILM AND THANK YOU NOTE - Digital copy of the film via VHX w/ thank you note from David Cross sent to you straight away.
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DINER MENU:
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In most everything I do there is something somewhere that I spend an inordinate amount of time on knowing that it will most likely never be seen. This menu is that thing! I spent about three hours laughing to myself coming up with the small print on the menus in the diner scenes. Now you can get a printed copy of the politically incorrect (which means they’re funny) menus that were created for the diner scene with the Think Tank, David Koechner and Amy Sedaris. Have your fill of tartar cunts, gay chicken, tantrum pusspie and so many other delectables.Estimated deliveryShips to Anywhere in the world56 backers -
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SWEET 12 GAUGE MUG - "Sweet 12 Gauge" is one of David Koechner's lines in the film. This became an inside joke amongst cast and crew on the shoot. Get in on the joke every time you take a sip of coffee or tea or hot toddy.
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SWEET 12 GAUGE T-SHIRT - "Sweet 12 Gauge" is one of David Koechner's lines in the film. This became an inside joke amongst cast and crew on the shoot. Get in on the joke in t-shirt form. This t-shirt can be used in over 1,000 applications!!
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GIRL WITH A GUN T-SHIRT:
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Get a t-shirt designed just like our poster. It’s a red, soft, comfy, broken in shirt with the Katelyn / Warhol image on the front, and HITS written small across the top back of the shirt. Fucking sweet shirt is what it comes down to. If you’re a girl I mean.Estimated deliveryShips to Anywhere in the world15 backers -
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OFFICIAL POSTER:
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Our distribution plan has been called ballsy. So has the film. I think our poster has balls too.Estimated deliveryShips to Anywhere in the world3 backers -
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SIGNED COPY OF THE SCRIPT:
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Get your very own copy of the script, and I’ll sign it just for you (sort of – I mean there are others. But your copy will be your copy. You know what I mean.)Estimated deliveryShips to Anywhere in the world42 backers -
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FREE DAVE STUBEN HOODIE - Just like the one that the hipsters wear in the film. Made of the finest Chinese prison labor. Just kidding, it could be from the Mauritanian Islands. Who knows?
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PERSONAL PHOTO BOOK:
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From our talented set photographer Sabrina Lantos: The producers made David this really cool photo book and gave it to him at our wrap party. We’ll make you your own personal copy of the book. It includes a bunch of behind the scenes photos of cast and crew, doing weird cast and crew things. Two of the pictures are rated PG13 however.Estimated deliveryShips to Anywhere in the world5 backersLimited (45 left of 50) -
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SIGNED MOVIE POSTER - just like the one in theaters, but signed by me and the stars of the movie.
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Are you in or going to be in Atlanta? How's about dinner for two (sans alchohol) at Bonelick or Vesuvius? Seriously, look at their yelps, they're delicious!! I'll be in another state but I hope you have a great time.
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SWORD-FIGHTING PUSSY:
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Our very own Amy Sedaris has donated a “Puss In Boots” poster signed by all the cast.
If you love sword fighting or pussy cats or sword fighting pussy cats this one is for you.Estimated deliveryShips to Anywhere in the world0 backers -
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PERSONALIZED DAVID CROSS WAKE UP – I will get one of those “personalized alarm clocks” intended for elderly people and record a personalized message for you so you can wake up to the sound of my voice every morning. I can sing, do funny accents, or even my award-winning*, "What if Hitler was a Kardashian" bit**! Your choice.
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*Not award-winning
**Not a real bitEstimated deliveryShips to Anywhere in the world3 backersLimited (2 left of 5) -
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SIGNED PROPS FROM HITS - We have all sorts of things to send you guys like Michael Cera's weed case to Matt Walsh's speech to Katelyn's sunglasses. Name it! We'll work with you to find one you like after you've seen the film, but be warned we'll be offering them on a first come, first served basis.
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COSTUME WORN BY REAL CELEBRITIES - buy it, try it, post it to our page! Options for costumes are: Meredith Hagner, Matt Walsh, James Adomian, Jake Cherry, Wyatt Cenac, Derek Waters, Michael Cera, David Koechner
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Derek Waters, Jason Ritter & Amy Sedaris.
Let us know who you're interested in and we'll make it work. Again these are offered on a first come, first served basis.Estimated deliveryShips to Anywhere in the world0 backersLimited (11 left of 11) -
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NY PREMIERE - Two guaranteed seats at the NY HITS launch. David and cast will be present answering A's to your Q's.
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BREAKFAST WITH MATT WALSH:
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For real??? Yes! Have breakfast with Matt Walsh. You can pick his brain about acting, directing or just generally how to be one of the nicest guys on the planet.Estimated delivery0 backersLimited (1 left of 1) -
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BE MY PERSONAL GUEST AT A COMEDY SHOW - Next time I do a stand-up tour (shooting for late fall 2015) You will receive four tickets AND be invited back stage after the show as my special guest for, well, kickstarter prohibits rewarding alcohol, but if it's just lying around backstage and...I mean if it's just sitting there...I like to share is what I'm getting at.
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FEATURED EXTRA - Be a featured extra in Honora's next film. We can't guarantee a line but we'll make sure you are positioned next to one of the main characters in the film so you're seen.
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INSTAGRAM INSTA-FAME. We’ll put your name and picture on a Hits Billboard then we’ll take a picture of you by your billboard and have the cast of Hits post it on their instagram accounts. It’s a win-win as you’ll get fame and social media success in one spectacular swoop. The swoop to end all swoops!
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"CLASSIC FAME" PURCHASE 2 - Walk on speaking role in one of Honora's next film.
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DAVID CROSS GODFATHER - David Cross will become a Godparent to your child.
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You heard me. Hopefully you don't mind a borish atheist as godparent. If not, lemme at it!Estimated delivery0 backersLimited (2 left of 2) -
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FILM FESTIVAL INVITE FOR TWO - Come to Honora's next premiere at Sundance, Cannes or Toronto.
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FICTION FAME:
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Anna Quindlen Pulitzer prize winner and 16 time New York Times best seller, Anna Quindlen will name a character in her next book after you - Your FULL name. With the release of A Short Guide To A Happy Life in 2000, Quindlen became the first writer ever to have books appear simultaneously on the fiction, nonfiction, and self-help New York Times Best Seller lists. The book sold close to a million copies in its first printingEstimated delivery0 backers -
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BE IN TODD MARGARET - Or, are you across the pond? Be featured in the background of Todd Margaret. This will be shooting in London starting end of May through early July. This one's gonna be nuts!!!
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HOLLYWOOD PRO-DOUCHER - Save money on film school and shadow Honora producers on the company's next film.
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2 CD's - personalized CD picked at random from my own personal massive collection. That's right. I have a shit ton of cd's I've amassed over the decades (I'm old) and I could never just throw them away. Thank the sweet lord! Because I will pluck two of them at random, sign them, and send them to you. They won't be shit either! At least one gem, if not both, guaranteed.
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Personalized signed copy of my books, "I Drink For A Reason" and "Hollywood Said No".
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MIX TAPE - a personalized, mixed cd I will make exclusively for you. You and you only. Imagine it's 1996 and I'm courting you. Mostly because of your ass but whatever. This cd will be unique to you.
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DAVID CROSS MEGA HUGE ULTRA DELUXE SWAG PACKAGE – a personally curated package of swag from David Cross to you. Includes t-shirts, books, CDs etc. from various things I’ve done with some guaranteed unique pieces. Also I'll throw in some stuff from my private collection of shit that only you will receive, like say... laminates, or glasses.
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DAVID CROSS’ BEARD – That’s right. When I have to shave my beard for Mr. Show I will collect it and send it to you in a lovely wooden box perhaps with velvet lining. This is the same kind of box Bruce Wayne (America's, "Batman") would receive a beard in! Use the beard hairs for whatever you may. Please note - in several Southeast Asian countries my beard holds magical powers.
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FILM SLATE - signed official film slate from HITS - this is the real one we used on set. It was mine, now it's yours.
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BROOKLYN BOWL VIP PACKAGE - Join me and my lovely wife Amber in the V.I.P. (free food and drink!) section of our very own lane at Brooklyn Bowl. And the mysterious and good smelling Questlove, who will be dj'ing, will come over and give you a life affirming pat on the back and earnest greeting. He may also eat some of our food. That's just the way it goes.
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TWITTER COUNSEL - 140 characters can feel very daunting. I will run your Twitter handle for one week to grow your popularity. And I HATE social media!!! That's how much this (and you) mean to me.
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STORY TIME WITH DAVID CROSS - I will come to you and read two chapters of your choosing of Fabio's (or Flava Flav's, Paris Hilton's or Bristol Palin's, there are so many) memoir. Invite a bunch of friends (up to fifty), I don't give a shit. Maybe I can convince H. Jon Benjamin to join me. We'll see, no guarantees on that part. I'll give it a shot though. Let's do this!
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BE IN MR. SHOW - We'll be shooting sometime in March/April in Los Angeles and we'll feature you as a background player. Then, come to the taping and stick around for a meet and greet. Who knows, maybe you'll even get some "face time"???
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Funding period
- (28 days)