Funded! This project was successfully funded on June 3, 2011.

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Tonya Harding, the 1995 Chevrolet Van used by Portland's Jazz-Punk band The Taxpayers, has finally died. Help them tour this summer!

Rest in peace.  She was a 1995 Chevy G-20 van with more guts than brains, questionable gas mileage, and a non-existent suspension system, and we nicknamed her Tonya Harding (because, you know, she was so damn tough).  She took us across the country three times and has been to nearly every state in the continental U.S.  Now, at nearly 300,000 miles, Tonya is no more.

Hello there.  We're the Taxpayers, a DIY (Do It Yourself) band from Portland, Oregon that plays a sort of jazz-americana-punk rock.  We're about to embark on our 9th national tour, and with every show along the way already booked and a month until the tour starts, our trusty van fell to pieces.  After doing the math, we realized we'll need roughly 3,000 dollars to cover a van rental and gas money for the 3 week period - and that doesn't even cover the food, lodging, or any other expenses needed to keep 7 people alive, breathing, and playing music for 3 weeks.  But we've never given up before, dammit, and that's why we're here!

To give you an idea of why we think a DIY Tour is one of the last honest and pure art-forms that exists, and why you might want to consider helping financially, let me break down what one looks like:

After months of emails, phone calls, attempts at persuasion, and stresses upon stresses, we will have booked a tour.  We will have done this all on our own, without the help of a manager, booking agent, or record label, because we believe in DIY with an almost religious fervor.  It'll be anywhere from 3 weeks to 4 months (4 months is our current record), and the shows will be at anywhere from a house, a park, a bowling alley, a train stop, a warehouse, someone's kitchen, or...well, pretty much any place you can think of.  From the start, this is what happens in a day:  we'll all wake up 8 am, drive 8 hours to the next show while tired and hungry (eating nothing but corndogs and ramen noodles along the way), and then pile out of the van in, say, Kalamazoo to go meet the folks that set up the show.  Things will get started and we'll meet a bunch of new friends.  At 11 pm we'll finally play and will get so excited and sweaty while playing music that we remember why we do this God-forsaken thing in the first place.  Afterwards, we'll go to one of the aforementioned new friend's houses, sleep on their floor, and then wake up the next day and do it all over again. And again.  And again.

The reason I'm describing this is to illustrate why I think this kind of thing is so important:  Free from the constraints of contractual obligations, lawyers, managers, fame, and fortune, you can make some damn interesting and inspiring art.  You don't make a cent doing it (in fact, you end up paying a hell of a lot of money out of your own pocket to do it), but you don't care because you're doing it because it drives you, because it's what you love, and because you'd be a broken person if you didn't do it.

And at the end of the day, that's the most important thing, right?

Please consider helping.

To listen to our newest album for free, click here:

http://soundcloud.com/thetaxpayers

                                                             TOUR SCHEDULE:

Here are the dates:

  • Wed, June 15 - OLY / Seattle
  • Thurs, June 16 - Spokane
  • Fri, June 17 - Missoula
  • Sat, June 18 - Bismarck (Day Off) <—- we’re gonna drink a bunch of beers and go fishin with Andrew’s dad.  YEE-HAWR!!!
  • Sun, June 19 - Minneapolis
  • Mon, June 20 - Minneapolis
  • Tues, June 21 - Minneapolis
  • Wed, June 22 - Milwaukee / Chicago
  • Thurs, June 23 - Chicago
  • Fri, June 24 - PIX FEST
  • Sat, June 25 - PIX FEST
  • Sun, June 26 - PIX FEST  (WE PLAY!)
  • Mon, June 27 - St Louis
  • Tues, June 28 - Lincoln / Omaha
  • Wed, June 29 - Denver / Ft Collins
  • Thurs, June 30 - SLC
  • Fri, July 1 - Reno
  • Sat, July 2 - San Fran / Oakland
  • Sunday, July 3 - NAKED IN OUR BEDS AT HOME!

FAQ

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  • Pledge $10 or more
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    2 backers Limited (18 left of 20)

    A video of a member of the Taxpayers performing some mundane task, like washing the dishes, while humming the tune of your choice. *mundane task chosen at the whim of the Taxpayers

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    7 backers Limited (18 left of 25)

    A signed CD of your choice with locks of our hair (bagged and glittered) stuffed into the CD casing. Hell, we'll even throw in something Noah dug up in the backyard while gardening. Bones, old wrenches, Norwegian money, who knows what you'll get!

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    11 backers Limited (9 left of 20)

    A song written for you on the topic of your choice by the Atomic Butter Babes, the Taxpayers' sexy, dangerous, and nautically-themed alter ego band. A dream come true? Yes. We'll record it on our tape player and send it to your sweaty hands for your eternal listening enjoyment. *quality of song not promised...err...

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    1 backer Limited (4 left of 5)

    A montage video of various Taxpayers awkwardly humming Ice T's seminal anti-police brutality song "Cop Killer" while performing slightly difficult tasks such as juggling, driving, performing mathematical calculations, etc. *This reward not for the faint of heart!

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    0 backers Limited (10 left of 10)

    You get to wrestle Noah Taxpayer! But beware 30 dollar pledgers: he was captain of his high school wrestling team! If you win, you get the shirt off his back. The shirt will be really fucking cool, seriously. Oh, and if you want a CD you can have one too. (you don't have to wrestle him for the CD). *Offer valid only if we're in your area.

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    4 backers Limited (46 left of 50)

    We'll graffiti your name or the message of your choice somewhere in Portland and take a picture of it! *note to law enforcement officials - the graffiti will be water soluble...hehe...

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    0 backers Limited (10 left of 10)

    An episode of "Cooking with Rob" dedicated to you! "Cooking with Rob" is the Facebook sensation which features Rob Taxpayer serving up some of the most bland, flavorless "food" in existence to his roommates. You name the ingredients, he'll bake the casserole. Or whatever it is he calls that thing he made... *ingredients limited to 5 that we can buy with our Foodstamps

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    0 backers Limited (1 left of 1)

    YOU GET TO BUY US A FISH! We've always wanted a fish we could take on tour with us. He'll be named Darby Splash. With your 55 dollar contribution, we'll send you updates on how Darby Splash is doing on the road, along with pictures and letters from the adorable little bugger that you adopted.

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    1 backer

    A cover of the following song for your listening enjoyment. It's a true obscure gem from the past, really: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG3VSRZ_RcQ

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    1 backer Limited (29 left of 30)

    Dude! 100 dollars? You rule! We'll call your house and tell your parents how great you are. Then, we'll send you a signed limited edition vinyl of the Taxpayers' "TO RISK SO MUCH FOR ONE DAMN MEAL" with original art that Noah Taxpayer will draw up for you.

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    0 backers

    Shoot, for a 1000 dollars, wanna come on tour with us? Or, if you don't want to come on tour, we'll drive to YOU and play a show in your freakin' kitchen. Hey, maybe Rob will even whip something up in the oven while we're there. *offer only valid if we can get to you for under a 1000 bucks...know what I'm sayin'?

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    0 backers Limited (2 left of 2)

    You're crazy. For 2000 bucks, one of us will get your name tattooed on us. That, or the object of your choosing (don't be a jerk about what object it is though, ya know?) *it'd be really funny if it was a lobster skiing.

Funding period

- (20 days)