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d&D sucks and this is the GREATEst game of ALL TIME. I know, because I made it.
d&D sucks and this is the GREATEst game of ALL TIME. I know, because I made it. http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/211137/50-ShaDes-Of-vOrpal-ALPHa
d&D sucks and this is the GREATEst game of ALL TIME. I know, because I made it. http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/211137/50-ShaDes-Of-vOrpal-ALPHa
247 backers pledged $1,824 to help bring this project to life.

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$1,824

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UPDATE!

All $5 backers and aboev get a free 1-page pdf of KICKING techniques.

50 Shades of Vorpal Kickstarter Document

Intro text

Stretch GOALs

$65 I add the Panther Class
$66 I write the Panther Class
$123 I add demi-halfling
$125 I add double-hemi-halflings
$150 I add small enough weapons for the double-hemi-halflings
$244 I edit
$288 I really edit
$315 I hire my buddy Jay to help
$346 I pay the writer
$368 I pay the artist

Shadow ROgue is ROguing!
Shadow ROgue is ROguing!

$487 I add the demi-paladin
$488 I add the demi-bra
$500 I add the Bard
$501 I remove the Bard
$584 Vorpal Boyscouts!!!
$614 I write a letter of thank you to everyone involved
$731 I write a real letter of thank you to the backers too
$777 Undead demi halflings with oversized weapons become playable
$801 My mom gets a birthday card
$833 I send you a good RPG. Like Terminus 5 or that Rollmaster thing.
$861 Assuming you pay for my time and the shipping. I mean, come on.
$888 I eat the potato salad


$912 I run a game for you
$913 I fly out to run a game for you
$915 I drink all your parent's liquor
$916 I actually run the game for you while sober
$917 Nevermind, forget that idea
$938 I add advanced movement rules
$957 I add super advanced movement rules, like pegasuses
$999 I add gender rules, like how boys can lift more than girls
$1000 I add rules for making sex
$1044 World map added.
$1071 World map added that matches the world of VorpaL
$1101 Join me when I win that EMnies
$1152 Join me on stage when I win it
$1210 You can accept my EMnie for me. I'll be at the bar.
$1212 Demi-dragons with laser beam eyes!
$1235 Damn. Just looked at prices for drinks.
$1241 New pencils

$1248 Colored picture of the mantidrakagorgin
$1299 I'll be reading fine dining: lunch at Wendy's
$1315 I'll color the cover
$1352 Picture of me in super raider costume
$1376 Kingfu ninja stars added
$1381 Numchucks added!
$1407 We add an extra tomb to the tomb of the tomb king
$1442 I get my own tater tots

$1516 I'll add the blade of woe. It had five blades that shoot off.
$1518 I'll add fireballs to the blade of woe
$1519 Real fireball rules. Not ones you made up.
$1520 Five fireballs per blade on the blade of woe and blades drip acid that burns though everything. Even gods.
$1550 NEW STETCH GOAL. I reveal pages from my neverbefore scene comic book Radical Pontifex.
$1433 Special super secret dungeon I wrote during lunch. Mega tough. None of my friends have ever gotten past the first room.
$1455 Professional wrestlers class. Cos they're like super cool
$1456 I change my mind. you don't deserve the wrestler class. DLC only!
$1521 Power kick added to ninja class
$1568

$1650 All KING level and above get a 50 Shades of Vorpal Coffee Mug
$1800 You fall in a pit and die.
$2100 All KONG level and above get a hardback version of the PDF.
$2250 All KING level and above get a 50 Shades of Vorpal T-Shirt
$3100 All KONG level and above get a signed hardback version of the PDF.
$3300 I can move out of the basement.

$3750 All KING level and above get a 50 Shades of Vorpal Hat
$4225 All KONG level and above get a signed hardback version of the PDF mailed
$4615 All KING level and above get a 50 Shades of Vorpal Coffee tattoo kit*
$4999 Complete Tomb of the Tomb Lord dungeon
$5000 We actually buy softward that can run spellchjecker
$5001 Complete Tomb of the Tomb Lord dungeon and include it in the book
$5050 We run spellcheck
$5100 Jennifer takes me back
$5500 We run spellcheck on the actual document
$5600 We make some of the spellcheck corrections


$5810 Encounter lists includes for the Tomb of the Tomb Lord dungeon
$6000 All KONG level and above get a signed hardback version of the PDF mailed priority mail.
$6500 All KING level and above get a set of 50 Shades of Vorpal personalized e-mail from the author
$7100 All KONG level and above get two hardback versions of the PDF mailed priority mail.
$7500 All KING level and above get a set of 50 Shades of Vorpal dice set
$10000 All KONG level and above get two signed hardback versions of the PDF mailed priority mail.
$20,000 unlocks the super-sweet black leatherette cover with gold-embossed logo and bookmark available only for KONG level backers.
$50,000 All KONG level and above get a free painted miniature.
$54,000 I drive to Jenny's house in my new Corvette and point and laugh.



Add Ons
+$50 Aspiring Game Designer. Add your character to the game. He's gotta be the most awesome character ever.
+$50 Aspiring Game Designer 2. Add a class to the game. Stuff like Shadow Assassin or Were-Dancer would be cool. We don't have those yet.
+$50 Aspiring Game Designer 3. Add a race to the game. We already have THE Darkest Elves. So we don’t need those.
+$50 Aspiring Artist: Add your art to the game. I'll even write something awesome to go with your art.
+$50 monstrous mastery: give us your awesomely awesome monster and we'll put it in the book
+$50: World Builder: Add your kingdom to the Seven Kingdoms. Go back to your game notes from 1984. Send us one. We'll print it.
+$50 Your so vain: we will use your name in the book. Promise!
+$50 You get a "handful of dice." I have to get rid of that bag o' dice from GenCon anyway.
+$500 Expert Dungeoneer. You get to design an entire level of the tomb of the tomb lord, to be included in the finished game. You have one month after the project funds.
+$5000 savior of the world. Name on the cover and we won’t send you a copy of this game.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 1 or more About $1.00

    No thank you. This pdf is too awesome to just give away, jerk.

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    Pledge US$ 5 or more About $5

    PDF of the most awesome PDF ever.

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    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    PDF and Print copy of the most awesome PDF ever.

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    Pledge $500 or more About $500

    KING PDF and Print copy and all of the stretch goals. Plus your name on the cover. Also, if we reach our goal a frame print of the cover.

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    Pledge $5,000 or more About $5,000

    KONG What do you want? Nothing weird.

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Funding period

- (35 days)