QUEST ONE UNLOCKED - It takes a village...of Goblins
The sun rises...
...over the Goblin Village. Multi-colored creatures emerge from their wattle and daub huts, the points of their ears stretching in the morning gloom. Suddenly a figure careens from the bracken, screaming at the top of his lungs. It's the well-intentioned but incredibly clumsy member of the tribe, Fumbles. He bumps into the stewpot on his way to you and yells:
"We made it to $50,000!!! Do you know what this means?!?"
You shake your head. Fumbles, as always, is a little odd, and it's hard to tell at any given moment if he's incredibly foolish or incredibly wise. Probably foolish.
"We've UNLOCKED a QUEST!"
"A quest?" you say.
"YES! Out there, in the bracken... no, not that bracken, THAT bracken. Good. Out there, there's a member of the MYSTERY CAST. And they're trapped!"
"Trapped?" you think.
"Yes TRAPPED! Trapped in this old SPELLBOOK covered in STRANGE FACES!
Trapped in a...Facebook?
"Only by reaching 1000 likes on THE FACEBOOK can we RELEASE them. Here, I have 700 for you. Can you get the rest? I told Complains I would help him clean Thaco's feet today..."
"Please, I need your help..."
Roll for initiative, what are you doing?