"Please help to make CEREBUS IN HELL? Slightly less quasi-unprofitable for the CIH? Team (Dave Sim, Sean Robinson, Benjamin Hobbs and David Birdsong) by buying one of our @#$%ING FLIMSY POSTCARDS FROM HELL No. 1. The whole team will be sharing equally in a four-way split of revenues-minus-expenses, God willing, on a bi-monthly basis. Be sure to tune into our NEXT KICKSTARTER to find out EXACTLY how much each guy took home ... and THEN EVERY KICKSTARTER AFTER THAT to see just how quickly that amount plummets in our slow-but-steady decline into comic-book oblivion. Fun for the whole family! "
Friends, enemies, and postcardophiles,
Cerebus in Hell? needs your help!
Between 1977 and 2004, Aardvark-Vanaheim published Cerebus the Aardvark, an innovative, visually lush, groundbreaking 6,000 page graphic novel, published over the course of 300 mostly-monthly issues. In 2016 AV began CEREBUS IN HELL?, a series of one-shot comics, chronicling the afterlife of CEREBUS as he tries to make sense of the Comics Metaphysics-saturated world he now inhabits. It, ah, also happens to be a four-panel gag comic, each issue entirely self-contained! Whichever one of these descriptions sounds more fun to you, THAT'S THE MOST ACCURATE!
So far 25 issues of CIH? have been published. However, we need YOUR help to keep CIH? going, and to help spread the word about Cerebus in Hell? How can you do that? Easy!
BUDDY CAN YOU SPARE US TEN DIMES? tier: $1-We're not sending you ANYTHING at this tier. Not even a thank you email if we can help it. You MAY get the joy of knowing you helped out a bunch of poor cartoonists who can barely buy cat food for dinner, but we're not doing anything to facilitate it.
BEAT TO HELL? tier: For $6, we'll send you a CIH? postcard. Printed on the flimsiest cardstock we can find! We're slapping a stamp on this bad boy and posting it ASAP. Is it going to get beat to HELL?!? YOU BETCHA! The card will be signed by Dave Sim and numbered by a @#$%ing computer, first-come, first-served, lowest numbers first!
"DON'T YOU DARE DAMAGE MY @#$%ING POSTCARD!" tier: For $9 we'll send you the same flimsy post card described in the previous tier, but we'll send it in "MINT" condition! Still signed by Dave Sim! Still numbered by a @#$%ing computer! Packaged with a custom made bag and board. May still arrived damaged!
Would you like to help out by printing your own cards and bringing them by your LCS? Then no need for a pledge! You can download print-quality files here and go to town.
Which brings us to the final tier (for now)—
"But I don't WANNA print my own!": $60 we'll send you a BRICK of 50 POSTCARDS! Perfect for helping us promote CIH? at your LCS. Saves you the hassle of figuring out how to print your own postcard! If technology is TOO confusing for you, this is the tier for you! (Note: these are NOT SIGNED. These are NOT NUMBERED. These do NOT REALLY MAKE US ANY MONEY. These are a HAIL-MARY PASS attempt to get CIH? into more hands and more local comics stores!
Now's the part where we beg. We plead. We have another ten months worth of CIH? issues in the can. Ten months of totally unhinged, totally readable, totally equal-opportunity-offensive, totally inedible issues of CIH? ready to print, for you! (YOU!! The one with the hair!!! Yeah, I'm taking to you. Hope that's okay.) And all that's keeping us from that goal is. Well. Renumeration. Lucre. The Big Green. A pile of ABE LINCOLNS. AND NOT THE COPPER ONES. UNLESS IT WAS A REALLY BIG PILE.
So, ah, whadaya think folks?
Edit 2/16/2019: And fer Pete's sake, get on the horn to your local comic store and order the issues in question! They DEFINITELY will appreciate you preordering the issues with them, several copies ideally, then showing up to pay upon day of release, then chasing everyone who's present around the store in an effort to get them to purchase the remainder of the copies! REALLY! THEY LOVE IT.
Locate your Diamond-affiliated local comic store HERE.
Giant Super Cerebus Annual #1 — available for preorder NOW!
Diamond order code: FEB191296
(W) Dave Sim, Benjamin Hobbs (A) Dave Sim, Gustave Dore (CA) Benjamin Hobbs
It all starts when Super-Cerebus eats a batch of Red Xenonite brownies which, in this case, causes his Amphetamine Vision to run wild, killing the infernal dead with heart attacks! Because they're already dead (the third or fourth time around, actually), it causes them to become "Nietzsche-ed"! Which really hacks off Satan! Fortunately, Super-Cerebus is able to switch into his civilian identity as Kent Olsen, FOX NEWS Gehenna news anchor! And just in the nick of time, Dante and Virgil change the channel to Ophidian Sportsnet 2's "Red State vs. Blue State Bloodbath Live." Don't Miss: Satan's flawless Rupert Murdoch impression! Don't Miss! The Cerebus In Hell? Emergency Change of Premise! Don't Miss!
In Shops: Apr 24, 2019
Cerebus Woman #1 — available for preorder VERY VERY SOON!
Risks and challenges
The postcard is finished and ready to go to the printers as soon as we're funded, so the risks associated with this project are minimal. However, here ARE some occurrences that COULD stop us from delivering on this project, presented in order of likelihood:
1- The Kitchener post office realizes that email is MUCH more efficient, shuts its doors forever, preventing any outbound mail.
If this occurs, Dave Sim, along with CIH? contributors Sean Michael Robinson, Benjamin Hobbs (RISD '09), and David Birdsong, will travel the country, coast-to-coast, hand delivering each and every postcard.
We REALLY hope the post office continues to live in their delusions for the next three months.
2- Dave Sim's hand is bitten off by a pelican, leaving him unable to sign and number the MINT cards.
Not to worry! If this happens we'll use some duct tape to attach a pen to Dave's bloody stump and force him to sign even if we have to move his arm manually. After all the postcards are signed, he can pass out or go to the hospital. His choice.Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
- (30 days)