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How to Lose Your Virginity's video poster

This documentary gets beyond the hype to figure out why, in our hyper-sexualized hookup culture, we're so obsessed with virginity. Read more

Brooklyn, NY Documentary
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pledged of $10,000 goal
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This project was successfully funded on July 1, 2010.

This documentary gets beyond the hype to figure out why, in our hyper-sexualized hookup culture, we're so obsessed with virginity.

Brooklyn, NY Documentary
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About this project

Want to see a trailer for the film? Click on the video above! And check out our Bonus Video Sneak Peek and Bases Primer here!

Don't want to pledge online? Email us at info*at*trixiefilms*dot*com and we'll tell you how to do it offline.


Hi! My name is Therese Shechter and I’ve spent the last three years working on the documentary “How To Lose Your Virginity”. I'm not really going to tell you how to have sex for the first time, but I do want to know why, in our hyper-sexualized American culture, we're so obsessed with virginity.

It's a quest to dig beneath the damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t double-speak of a culture that cynically encourages both virginity and promiscuity. How can young women wade through these mixed messages–like a reality show that auctions off virgins to the highest bidder or Disney starlets flashing purity rings while writhing on stripper poles–and act instead on their own needs and desires? What’s behind this strange moment in American culture?

The road to understanding our obsession with virginity takes me to places I never thought I'd go–from the set of a Barely Legal porn movie shoot in the San Fernando Valley to a Love & Fidelity Abstinence Conference at Harvard to the fitting rooms of David's Bridal.

Along the way, I expose and decode a landscape of conflicting messages to young women. The goal? A non-judgemental conversation about real-world sexuality, whether you choose to have sex or not.

I couldn't wait for the documentary to get finished to tackle these issues, so two years ago I started a blog called The American Virgin. Here's what one person wrote us:

"Thank you so much for helping me put my confusing, frustrated thoughts on sex and relationships into perspective. It really makes me feel so much less like an outcast and more able to take ownership of how I feel and not to listen to what others tell me."


So far, I’ve funded the film almost entirely out of my own pocket, with help from an amazing group of cinematographers, producers, interns and friends who have given their time and talent for little more than pans of baked goods. I've gone a long way on this kind of support from people who really believe in the project, but eventually I need to, you know, pay people.

Our trailer is already being used in Human Sexuality classes because there's such a demand for this kind of information. We need to hire a full-time editor to finish our rough cut this summer. We’ll use that rough cut to pitch the film to theatrical distributors and TV programmers, and to develop curriculum for college screenings. To that end, we need to raise $10,000 by pre-selling DVDs at $25 a piece, and offering really cool rewards and incentives if you want to donate more.

If we exceed our Kickstarter goal (how awesome would that be?) the money will go to covering future post-production costs: editing to fine cut, sound edit/mix, music rights…and we’d really love to pay our interns!

My last doc was funded one backer at a time, so I know it works. Thanks to supporters like you, "I Was A Teenage Feminist," has screened all over the world, from Stockholm to Karachi to Seoul. We even showed it at Serbia's first-ever women’s film festival!


I am passionate about this subject and will finish this film no matter what, but without your support, it will be a longer, harder road. Since we debuted the film's first trailer on Vimeo, we’ve had almost 10,000over 20,000 views, hundreds of blog posts and an overwhelming number of people telling us how psyched they are to see this film. So we know you’re passionate about it too!!

Please help support independent women's media by backing “How to Lose Your Virginity" at any level. Thanks to our fiscal sponsor Women Make Movies, pledges of $100 or more are tax deductible.

You can also help by spreading the word. Every single dollar, Facebook post, blog entry and tweet gets us that much closer to our goal. Check out our blog, become our Facebook friend or follow us on Twitter.

A big thank you to all my passionate collaborators including Lisa, Anneliese, Ruben, Shelby, Heather, Jenna, Jude, Anne & Ed.


Have a question? If the info above doesn't help, you can ask the project creator directly.

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  • You selected
    Pledge $10 or more

    33 backers

    JUST FRIENDS: A “Special Thanks” on our website and access to all of our backers-only posts.

  • You selected
    Pledge $25 or more

    79 backers

    FIRST BASE: Receive your very own signed DVD of the film when it's released.

  • You selected
    Pledge $45 or more

    36 backers

    INSTANT GRATIFICATION: If you just can’t wait…a signed DVD of Therese’s film “I Was a Teenage Feminist” (home video version) right away–plus the signed DVD of this film when released.

  • You selected
    Pledge $75 or more

    9 backers

    SLUMBER PARTY SCREENING KIT: Get this film's signed DVD, our discussion guide, the Write Your Own Sexual History Truth or Dare game, temporary tattoos and more.

  • You selected
    Pledge $125 or more

    7 backers

    WE’VE MADE OUR BED, NOW LIE IN IT: Join Team Trixie and attend a rough cut screening, give us feedback, and do a guest post for The American Virgin. Plus the signed DVD!

  • You selected
    Pledge $225 or more

    6 backers

    PLEDGERS’ PURITY BALL: You’re invited to an exclusive backers-only screening and after party (with your guest) when the film's done-plus the signed DVD.

  • You selected
    Pledge $500 or more

    1 backer Limited (4 left of 5)

    We have bonus day-job talents! Graphic artist Therese will design your business card OR producer Lisa will give you feedback on your own film project’s treatment, trailer or rough cut.

  • You selected
    Pledge $1,000 or more

    1 backer Limited (3 left of 4)

    TOTALLY HOOKING UP: A private New York area screening for you and your friends (or class) hosted by Therese and a special guest from the film OR if you just can’t wait, Therese will screen "I Was A Teenage Feminist" now. Want a LONG DISTANCE LOVE AFFAIR? Talk to us about a screening in your town or your CLASSROOM. We'll figure it out!

  • You selected
    Pledge $2,000 or more

    1 backer Limited (1 left of 2)

    GO ALL THE WAY: Receive an “Associate Producer” credit in the film, attend a rough cut screening and the Pledgers Purity Ball–and get a signed DVD.

  • You selected
    Pledge $10,000

    0 backers Limited (1 left of 1)

    CONJUGAL BLISS: One special someone will get “Executive Producer” credit in the film and all the other rewards PLUS Therese will don a white wedding dress, and Lisa, who is an ordained minister, will seal the deal, professionally, of course. We’ll even feed you cake.

Funding period

- (59 days)