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$19,526 pledged of $70,000 goal
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By Simon Philion
$19,526 pledged of $70,000 goal
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About this project

Can't tell you how excited I am that you're even looking at this page right now. Let's make this baby on the internet. 

The Cool Baby. Just add a beverage and your torso.
The Cool Baby. Just add a beverage and your torso.

 WHAT DOES THIS BABY DO? Dress it up to look like you, like someone else, like a part of a costume, like a fan of your team. Use it to get a seat on the subway, strike up a conversation, or mock a biological baby. WHATEVER YOU DO WITH IT, The Cool Baby is a fun, expressive, hands-free beverage insulator for a wide variety of occasions. 

A deconstructed Cool Baby.
A deconstructed Cool Baby.

 WHAT IS THIS BABY MADE OF? The head, legs and arms are a lifelike PVC construction. For the drink-insulating torso, a simple Polyurethane foam. For the baby-body-shaped, 36oz. drink container and straw, BPA-free Polypropylene. The mouthpiece is silicone. The harness is a cotton blend. Materials we're all familiar with, and we've all stuck in our mouths since we, ourselves, were babies. 

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS? The prototype is done. That was the young man you met in the videos. I have a sourcing agent ready to vet factories for me as soon as this thing is funded. The reason my funding goal is a little high is because I might have to use up to 3 factories to get everything I need into this one product. Im finding that manufacturing is fascinatingly not-straight-forward. 

WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE MODEL OF BABY AVAILABLE? Sorry. Because of lack of resources in this first round, you're going to be seeing a lot of sleeping, caucasian babies. After this thing is funded and I get a factory re-tooled and working with me, I'll have all different kinds of baby races, baby dispositions, baby sexual orientations, and baby IQ's. Sky's the limit. Anything you ever wanted out of your progeny.  

Risks and challenges

Honestly I'm still learning this whole manufacturing thing. It's fascinating. I have a smart, experienced sourcing agent vetting factories for me as soon as it's funded. The Cool Baby will keep you all informed as that process advances. I promise I'll deal with delays as quickly and efficiently as possible. Your babies need you.

As the first round is delivered to their new homes, around August of this year, I'll build the site and start doing direct sales. Once again, The Cool Baby will keep you all thoroughly informed via the internet.

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    Pledge $1 or more About $1.00

    POSTPARDUM DIGITAL HIGH-FIVE:
    The baby's first memory will be of high-fiving you and a bunch of other people via an internet video.

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    Pledge $15 or more About $15

    BABY PRODUCER CREDIT
    Your name goes on the credits of video communications from the Cool Baby to the public going forward. Said communications will be both frequent and post-uteral.

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    Pledge $25 or more About $25

    THE PREEMIE (early bird special):
    You get a Cool Baby. It's a real baby. Minus the biology. Plus an insulated place for your drink. Multiplied by the use of both of your hands. For infinity.

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    Pledge $30 or more About $30

    THE ALMOST-PREEMIE (you're still early):
    You get a Cool Baby. It's a real baby. Minus the biology. Plus an insulated place for your drink. Multiplied by the use of both of your hands. For infinity.

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    Pledge $35 or more About $35

    THE BABY (10 fingers, 10 toes, 36 oz):
    You get a Cool Baby. It's a real baby. Minus the biology. Plus an insulated place for your drink. Multiplied by the use of both of your hands. For infinity.

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    Pledge $40 or more About $40

    THE OVERDUE BABY (looks back fondly on the womb):
    You get a Cool Baby. It's a real baby. Minus the biology. Plus an insulated place for your drink. Multiplied by the use of both of your hands. For infinity.

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    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    THE GIFT BABY (aka 'the full citizen'):
    You get a Cool Baby. Awesome. You get the Producer Credit. Amazing. You get a beautiful, personalized birth certificate which you can use to assign the Baby's name, backstory, and sexual orientation. Yahtzee. You'll get the Birth Certificate before the Cool Baby.

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    Pledge $95 or more About $95

    DATENIGHT:
    Your bond with a severely loved one will be strengthened when you get two Producer Credits and two Cool Babies. Each with its own beautiful Birth Certificate. If you don't feel like writing the Babies' backstories, then hell, I'll write them for you. Just tell me a little about yourselves.

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    Pledge $150 or more About $150

    LINEAGE PACKAGE (you are fertile):
    You will get 3 Cool Babies, each with an official Birth Certificate. You will get a Producer Credit. And once I have the ability to manufacture different models, (April 2015ish) I will name one after you. Thus ensuring the continuance of your bloodline for all eternity.

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    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    THE BABY SHOWER (you are such good friends):

    Show solidarity for your pregnant friend by adorning yourself and your crew with 4 Cool Babies. The Producer Credit will reflect whatever you and your friends like to call yourselves. Birth Certificates included. The Cool Baby will even make a video about you in time for the baby shower. Just tell him a little about yourselves.

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    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    THE TAILGATER (strength in numbers):
    Support your team by slathering yourself and your friends in 4 Cool Babies. The Producer Credit will reflect whatever you and your friends like to call yourselves. Birth Certificates included. The Cool Baby will even make a video admiring your taste in sports, and cheering your team on before game time. Just tell him a little about yourselves.

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    Pledge $1,000 or more About $1,000

    BIG GAME BABY:
    Just in time for next year's big game, you'll get 8 Cool Babies, with Birth Certificates, dressed in onesies with your favorite team featured. The Baby will make you a personalized shoutout video to share. Just tell him a little about yourself.

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    Pledge $8,000 or more About $8,000

    MINI-YOU:
    You will get up to 10 Cool Babies made to look exactly like you. Seriously. A straight-up artist will carve a straight-up rendering of your face, use it to create a straight-up mold and we'll straight-up make those Cool Babies. You'll get a Producer Credit on all Cool Baby videos, one of which will be a short film all about you. And, if you like, your baby will enter regular production with the rest of the Cool Babies, carrying your name around the world and throughout eternity. You don't get a birth certificate because you probably already have one.

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Funding period

- (30 days)