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A darkly funny novel, set in 1979 San Francisco, about a brilliant young man desperate to undo the wrong he did to the woman he loves.
A darkly funny novel, set in 1979 San Francisco, about a brilliant young man desperate to undo the wrong he did to the woman he loves.
413 backers pledged $33,431 to help bring this project to life.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $5 or more About $5

    POSTCARD FROM THE EDGE

    Like the handwriting on the cover of the novel? It's mine—and you'll get a personalized version of it when I pen my thanks on the back of the postcard I'll be sending you. Front shows book cover. Matte finish. My special, genetically unique saliva included FREE on the back of each stamp.

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    Pledge $10 or more About $10

    E-BOOK HOOK

    You receive the digital edition of "What I Did To You," formatted for the e-reader of your choice (MOBI, EPUB, or PDF), plus bonus points for being all turned on and tuned in.

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    Pledge $15 or more About $15

    PAPERBACK, JACK

    You receive a trade paperback of the novel, signed by me. Suitable for reading, fake-reading in order to avoid unwanted conversations, rolling up and smacking on your palm to emphasize a point, and, if absolutely necessary, smooshing insects.

    Thank-you postcard included.

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    Pledge $20 or more About $20

    "WHAT I DID TO YOU" and "UNFAIR"

    You receive one softcover copy of "What I Did To You," and one softcover copy of my breakthrough book, "UNFAIR: CHRISTIANS AND THE LGBT QUESTION."

    Both autographed.

    Thank-you postcard included (and meant!)

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    Pledge $25 or more About $25

    PAPERBACK and E-BOOK

    You receive a paperback edition of "What I Did To You," signed by me. You'll also get the digital edition of the novel, formatted for the e-reader of your choice (MOBI, EPUB or PDF), signed by me in another dimension of time and space, but not, alas, in this one.

    Thank-you postcard included.

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    Pledge $30 or more About $30

    HARDCOVER for the HARDCORE

    You will receive the weighty, solid, dust-jacketed, hardcover edition of the novel, along with my undying gratitude that you, like me, are a book freak. Book also autographed by me, with just a pinch of prideful panache.

    Thank-you postcard included.

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    Pledge $35 or more About $35

    YOUR NAME IN THE BOOK (IN EVERY EDITION) + E-BOOK

    You receive the digital edition of the novel, formatted for the e-reader of your choice (MOBI, EPUB or PDF). But wait! Has your e-reader short-circuited and zapped you? No, that's just the electric thrill you'll experience upon seeing your name on the Acknowledgments page—which will also be included in the paperback and hardback editions of the novel. Because you paid $25 for that amazingness.

    Thank-you postcard included.

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    Pledge $40 or more About $40

    YOUR NAME IN THE BOOK (IN EVERY EDITION) + PAPERBACK

    You receive the paperback edition of the novel, signed by me, along with the slightly disturbing sensation of your cockles suddenly warming when you behold your name on the book's Acknowledgements page.

    Thank-you postcard included.

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    Pledge $55 or more About $55

    YOUR NAME IN THE BOOK (IN EVERY EDITION) + HARDCOVER

    Tired of your friends stubbornly refusing to acknowledge your superiority? Just wait'll you nonchalantly whip out a signed, beautifully produced hardcover novel by a major American writer—in which you personally are acknowledged.

    Verily will they bow unto you.

    Unless they, too, purchased this reward. Then ... group hug!

    Thank-you postcard included.

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    Pledge $75 or more About $75

    YOUR NAME IN THE BOOK (IN EVERY EDITION) + EVERY EDITION

    The hardcover, the paperback (both signed), the e-book, and your name on the Acknowledgments page. It's all yours, you glorious reading machine.

    Thank-you postcard included.

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    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    EVERY EDITION + "UNFAIR" + RAPIDLY VANISHING "PENGUINS"

    You get everything in the $75 reward above: signed hardcover, signed paperback, e-book, your name in book, postcard.

    You also get a signed copy of my book, "UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question."

    You also receive one of the last 50 copies in existence of my hardcover book, "Penguins, Pain, and the Whole Shebang."

    Published by venerable Seabury Press (publisher of John Shelby Spong's first books), "Penguins" has the distinction of being the first book in Seabury's long history for which it paid an author advance (being $5,000). Winner of the 2005 San Diego Book Award in the category of Best Spirituality/Religion.

    Seabury printed 5,000 copies of the book; the 50 in my office are the last of those. This is your chance to own one of them, signed and inscribed by me.

    Thank-you postcard included.

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    Pledge $125 or more About $125

    ONE-ON-ONE TALK WITH ME FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR

    Have a personal problem you'd like my help working out? Perhaps there's some aspect of your creative, psychological and/or spiritual life on which you'd like my input. Whatever it is, and whatever it's about, I'm all ears—and all yours, for at least an hour. Skype or phone, whichever you prefer.

    You also receive a signed hardcover edition of "What I Did To You," your name in the Acknowledgments, and the thank-you postcard.

    (The shipping cost below is, of course, for the book.)

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    Pledge US$ 150 or more About US$ 150

    BEER WITH ME IN ASHEVILLE

    Come have a beer with me at any one of the amazing brewpubs in Asheville, NC—or, as it's long been named by a host of national polls, "Beer City USA." (Leave where we go to me, and we'll visit The Wedge, in Asheville's amazing River Arts District. They know me there. They pretend like they don't. But by now they must.)

    You. Me. Beer. Beer City. A memory you're sure to treasure, or at least vaguely recall after you see the photos of our time together that I'll try to remember to send you the next day.

    Included is a signed hardback copy of "What I Did To You, your name on its Acknowledgments page, and a thank-you postcard.

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    Pledge $150 or more About $150

    2 HOURS EDITING / GHOSTWRITING / COACHING

    If you're looking to become a better or more effective writer, I can help. We'll start off talking about where you're at with your writing; then I'll learn where you want to BE with your writing, and together we'll start moving you toward your goal. You'll be amazed at how much I can truly step up your writing game in just two hours.

    Includes a signed paperback edition of "What I Did To You," your name in the book, and a thank-you postcard.

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    Pledge $200 or more About $200

    BOOK CLUB SPECIAL

    8 signed trade paperback copies of "What I Did To You," and at least one hour of my discussing the novel with your book club over Skype. (If you don't belong to a book club, start one! Now! Right now! Get on the phone! And I'll go pour myself another cup of coffee!)

    You also get your name in the book—as well as 8 thank-you postcards.

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    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    LIMITED EDITION PRINT OF COVER PHOTOGRAPH

    You receive a limited edition (of 25), museum-quality print of "Park benches, 1979," the moving photograph used for the cover of "What I Did To You."

    Title: "Park benches, 1979"
    Artist: Cat Shore
    Size: 20.75 X 12.9 inches; 22 X 28 archival mat
    Format: archival pigment
    Features: signed by artist; edition of 25

    Included is a signed hardback copy of "What I Did To You," your name on its Acknowledgments page, and a thank-you postcard.

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    Pledge US$ 375 or more About US$ 375

    5 HOURS EDITING / GHOSTWRITING / COACHING

    Are you a writer or blogger looking to step up your writing game—to be more successful, more focused, more motivated and inspired to do your best work? Have a book idea you'd like me to thoroughly evaluate and/or help you develop? A full or partial manuscript you'd like me to read, comment upon, or edit? Perhaps you'd like help writing a letter to someone. Maybe you'd like me to write a story about you.

    I have long done all this sort of work, for writers who've never published a word to New York Times bestselling authors of both fiction and non-fiction. And I'd love to do it for you, too.

    Includes a signed hardcopy edition of "What I Did To You," your name in the book, and a thank-you postcard.

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    Pledge US$ 500 or more About US$ 500

    KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKIN' ON YOUR FRONT DOOR

    If you live within 100 miles of Asheville, NC, I will come to your book club meeting or in-house gathering to read from, and discuss in depth, "What I Did To You."

    Includes 8 autographed paperback copies of the novel, your name inside of the book, and 8 thank-you postcards.

    Besides delving into such areas as the novel's informing emotional themes, and the parallels between its protagonist's story and my own, during our time together I am likely to tell up to four extremely funny jokes, two or three that I alone will find hilarious, and at least one that will move you to quietly take hold of your cell phone.

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    Pledge $500 or more About $500

    I WILL DEDICATE THE NOVEL TO YOU

    Simple as that.

    It would honestly be an honor for me. Five hundred dollars is a lot of money.

    Includes autographed copies of the hardback and paperback editions of "What I Did To You," the digital edition formatted for the e-reader of your choice (MOBI, EPUB or PDF) and a thank-you postcard.

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    Pledge US$ 750 or more About US$ 750

    10 HOURS (or more) EDITING / GHOSTWRITING / COACHING.

    See the description of the $375 reward above. This is 10 hours of that.

    (For each additional hour over 10 that you'd like to purchase, simply add, at checkout, $75 more dollars.)

    There are few writing goals that you and I, working together for 10 or more hours, can't accomplish or come near to it. We could write a whole book proposal in that much time; we could work up the complete outline for a novel or non-fiction book. We could set you up with a solid, well-designed blog, and plot out your first thirty posts for it.

    Wherever you want to go with your writing, in 10 or more hours we can either get you there, or make certain that you have a car full of gas and a clear roadmap for how to get you there.

    Includes a signed hardback book, your name inside of the book, and a thank-you postcard.

    Includes a signed hardcopy edition of "What I Did To You," your name in the book, and a thank-you postcard.

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    Pledge $1,000 or more About $1,000

    I WILL DEDICATE THE NOVEL TO YOU, and YOU NAME A CHARACTER IN THE NOVEL

    I will include you in the dedication line of "What I Did To You" (as in the $500 dedication reward above).

    In addition, I will name a character in the book after either you or anyone you choose. (We'll work together to find the perfect name-to-character match. That'll be fun.)

    Includes autographed copies of the hardback and paperback editions of "What I Did To You," the digital edition formatted for the e-reader of your choice (MOBI, EPUB or PDF), and a thank-you postcard.

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    Pledge US$ 3,500 or more About US$ 3,500

    I'M LEAVIN' ON A JET PLANE

    I will come to your book club meeting or in-house gathering to read from and discuss "What I Did To You."

    Think I'm awesome online? Just wait till you meet me in person! Because I'm not. But by the time that begins to dawn on you, I'll already be sunk deep into your couch cushions, shedding like a molting Yeti, and boorishly hinting that you could always run to the store to buy some more Oreos.

    And you'll STILL beg me to stay another day.

    Which I'll do. At your house.

    Where I'll also stay well into the following week.

    It's all gonna get pretty weird, actually. But in the end, you'll have what just about everyone wants: an author living on their couch. So, you know.

    Included are 8 signed paperback books, your name in the book, and 8 thank-you postcards.

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