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Funding for this project was suspended by Kickstarter over 3 years ago
IblockdoorsBy Iblockdoors
First created
IblockdoorsBy Iblockdoors
First created
$1
pledged of $10,000pledged of $10,000 goal
1
backer
0seconds to go
Funding Suspended
Funding for this project was suspended by Kickstarter over 3 years ago

About

I need $10,000 to grow my youtube gaming channel. You know, I need a new computer, video capture cards, Xbox 1 and Ps4 (I actually already have that), and umm, oh yea a mic, and umm, oh ya software, for video editing, which I'm too stupid to pirate in a bit torrent. Will probably also need to buy fake subscribers because I really don't have any talent.

Okay now that we've got that out of the way, I'll tell you, that's all bullshit. I just want mad cash so I can blow Charlie Sheen levels of coke off of a strippers tits, while simultaneously getting head from another. I will also need vast amounts of cash to see the doctor from all the STD's I'm going to be getting, and the creams and prescription drugs needed to treat them. Then, after a long drug filled, whore ridden sex bender, I will need money to check myself into rehab. 3 times, because we all know the first time doesn't take (kinda like a vasectomy, but a much, much lower success rate). It's possible, even though very slim chance, that I may need some money for bail, a lawyer, and court costs, but that's just if I get caught.

Also, I think my cat got knocked up, and she needs an abortion. Anyone know where I can get a kitty abortion?

*Disclaimer*- This money won't be used for drugs, cat abortions, or to fund cat planned parenthood. Only putting this here on the off chance someone actually gives me money they won't be held liable under law for any sort of crime. I may be screwed and will probably be in court again next week. 

Risks and challenges

Well the biggest challenge is pretending like I'm going to use this money for something productive, because people giving you money to play videos games is like the exact opposite.
The risk? Overdosing and throwing up all over a hooker when shes going down on me, and having her freak out and leave me to die instead of calling an ambulance. Also getting robbed by some trick ass hoes. Oh, encounters with law enforcement is a huge risk, but with enough money anyone can be bought.

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Support

  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $1 or more About $1.00

    This gets you some pocket lint, that I probably won't send.

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  2. Select this reward

    Pledge $5 or more About $5

    This will get you 5 pieces of pocket lint or a big piece of pocket lint. I maybe inclined to send it at this point.

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  3. Select this reward

    Pledge $10 or more About $10

    Did you think this would be 10 pieces of pocket lint? You'd be wrong. I'm sending you one of my used sock(s). Probably just one, that I can't find the other for to make a complete pair. Oh, its probably brown and has holes in it.

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  4. Select this reward

    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    Why the fuck would you give me $50? I already told you it was for drugs. Screw it, at this point you have bought my friendship. Congratulations, you now have a friend.

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  5. Select this reward

    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    Are you fucking stupid? Why in the love of fuck would you give any stranger this much money? Are you rich? If so, you should actually give me much more money. Oh, I'll send you one of my old T-Shirts, with holes in it. I honestly should have thrown it out, but I haven't.

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  6. Select this reward

    Pledge $250 or more About $250

    At this level I'll send you one of my old hoodies, that a cat probably pissed on because it refuses to go in the litter box.

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  7. Select this reward

    Pledge $500 or more About $500

    Ok, this is basically the point where you could have bought a nice mid-high class prostitute, but instead you want to give me money... for drugs... and now hookers also. Umm

    500 pieces of pocket lint for you, or just a huge piece of pocket lint.

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Funding period

- (30 days)