$3,017
pledged of $50,000pledged of $50,000 goal
21
backers
0seconds to go
Funding Unsuccessful
The project's funding goal was not reached on Wed, July 4 2018 10:59 PM UTC +00:00
BrianBy Brian
First created
BrianBy Brian
First created
$3,017
pledged of $50,000pledged of $50,000 goal
21
backers
0seconds to go
Funding Unsuccessful
The project's funding goal was not reached on Wed, July 4 2018 10:59 PM UTC +00:00

About


Our 45th president has inspired the entire nation, like it or not. Our children now know that when they have relations with a porn star, it will cost them $130,000, paid in 4 easy installments. Now that’s math they can use! 
Introducing the “Bigly Ball.” It’s the greatest, most wonderful, most fantastic Success System ever created. Believe me. 

Not only is it hugely effective, it’s even more fun than Vladimir Putin. Just put that big orange ball in your hand, roll it around, grab an ice-cold beer, or the nearest crotch in reach, and you are talking bigly success and enjoyment!  

Kids of all ages, especially the ‘Millennials’, will be clamoring for answers to their most pressing questions to being great in this ever more competitive world.

You see, we've revamped the classic Magic 8 Ball to include the "best" of the worst of our 45th president's methods, giving you "advice" on How to Win Bigly surrounding five specific areas, just like he has done and said it all the way to the White House: 

  • in Business 
  • in Conflict Management 
  • in Damage Control 
  • in Politics
  • with Women 
The randomness and unpredictability of the Magic 8 Ball is a perfect representation of how our president seems to address issues every day; making it the perfect delivery method for Bigly Ball's advice.  

However, unlike the classic Magic 8 Ball where your questions are limited to very specific "Yes" and "No" answers, asking the Bigly Ball for advice from a specific ball -- “Politics,” for example – will get you "winning" advice for almost ANY question about your political career, the kind of advice that can only be given by a man who consults himself to resolve those pressing issues!

The Bigly Ball is so easy to use, like the way 45 uses coal miners. Just TAKE the ball, SHAKE the ball and, quicker than you can say “Fox & Friends” you’ll get real FAKE winning advice. And if the answer doesn’t satisfy you, you’ll understand how Melania feels. 

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Just so we're clear, we in no shape or form encourage people to take the "advice" in the Bigly Balls literally. Just like 45’s tweets. The balls are meant for entertainment purposes only. Just like 45’s presidency so far. Our hope is by putting this in a "success system" that "the base" will see how ridiculous he sounds when we change the context. Still don't see it? Give it to your kids. Wait, better not.

Our Bigly Balls are all proudly “Made in America” (in China) and cannot be swallowed by infants, small children or Stormy Daniels.  

We’re very proud of our campaign and hope you’ll support us. We accept all donations from anyone, except “the Russians”, Michael Cohen, or campaign officials; but if you can send us $130,000… well, that would be the greatest thing you could ever do. Believe me.

There is no shortage of word vomit (trash) spewing from 45's mouth promoting an ever more divisive and skeptical country. We, too, believe in making America great so we'll be donating a minimum 30% of the post-Kickstarter profits to the following charities and organizations:

  • Women's Rights and Empowerment 
  • Anti-Bullying 
  • Legal Services for "Dreamers" 

Once we have a better grasp on the potential of the Bigly Ball on the market, we're committed to increasing the percentage donated and collaborating with more organizations on the receiving end of 45'a exaggerated, and often times dangerous, rhetoric. We believe when our nation's most vulnerable win, we all win, and bigly!

"Advice" on how to interact, treat or get the attention of that special woman in your life. This Bigly Ball will give you winning presidential advice for ANY question about women.

How to Win Bigly with Women
How to Win Bigly with Women
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.

 "Advice" on how to handle any difficult or conflict situation. This Bigly Ball will give you winning presidential advice on how to get out of ANY tricky situation that leaves you stumped.

How to Win Bigly in Conflict Management
How to Win Bigly in Conflict Management
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.

"Advice" on how to accelerate your political career by any means necessary. This Bigly Ball will give you winning presidential advice on ANY question related to your political strategy.

How to Win Bigly in Politics
How to Win Bigly in Politics
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.

"Advice" on how to create your business empire stepping on everyone along the way. This Bigly Ball will give you winning presidential advice for ANY question on how to become a mogul.

How to Win Bigly in Business
How to Win Bigly in Business
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.

"Advice" on how to get the attention off of you quick! Fast! And in a Hurry! This Bigly Ball will give you winning presidential advice on knowing exactly who to blame when you eff-up or are simply frustrated that things aren't going your way. Because it's definitely not your fault :/

How to Win Bigly in Damage Control
How to Win Bigly in Damage Control
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.
PROTOTYPE. Final Bigly Ball will be similar to these.
Instructions and Use.
Instructions and Use.

Risks and challenges

We have done a good chunk of the legwork before starting the Kickstarter campaign; such as making pre-shipment arrangements and setting delivery expectations with a fulfillment center. The areas which may cause delays is in the tooling of the die piece inside the ball, the production of the complete Bigly Ball and the freight.

We have allotted an extra month for any hiccups that may potentially cause delays in delivering the reward.

DESIGN AND "ADVICE"

The final designs and artwork and long as the "advice" in each ball may vary slightly in the final product. The idea, essence and messaging will still remain fully entact!

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Questions about this project? Check out the FAQ

Support

  1. Select this reward

    Pledge US$ 5 or more About US$ 5

    Keep Up the Good Work!

    Send us your best question a Bigly Ball-style answer (advice) and we'll create and post a digital version on all of our platforms, and take all of the credit!

    Joking! That's not our style, All credit goes to you and your wit :D

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  2. Select this reward

    Pledge $20 or more About $20

    BIG Success

    1 Bigly Ball of your Choice (You'll choose when the campaign ends...if we reach our goal)

    So you got the other areas covered and only need advice to master one more area to be president-ready? This option is for you.

    Delivery INCLUDED in USA.

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  3. Select this reward

    Pledge $38 or more About $38

    BIGGER Success

    2 Bigly Balls of your Choice (You'll choose when the campaign ends...if we reach our goal)

    If you're, "I've settled 3 out of 5 lawsuits this year", president-ready, then this option is for you.

    Delivery INCLUDED in USA.

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  4. Select this reward

    Pledge $51 or more About $51

    BIGLY Success

    3 Bigly Balls of your Choice (You'll choose when the campaign ends...if we reach our goal)

    If you're like "I like Putin and the fine people on both side and like, hate those kneeling SOBs", you're off to a good start. This option is for you.

    Delivery INCLUDED in USA.

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  5. Select this reward

    Pledge $62 or more About $62

    BIGLIEST Success

    4 Bigly Balls of your Choice (You'll choose when the campaign ends...if we reach our goal)

    If you're, "This never-ending WITCH HUNT is starting to p*ss me off", president-ready, then this option is for you.

    Delivery INCLUDED in theUSA.

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  6. Select this reward

    Pledge $71 or more About $71

    White House HERE I COME!

    Complete Bigly Ball Set!

    If you don't have experience, you're not the most popular, your team keeps quitting, and your friends call you a f**king moron, then you're perfect for the job, but with the help of Bigly Balls!

    Delivery INCLUDED in the USA.

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    4 backers
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  7. Select this reward

    Pledge $115 or more About $115

    I'm Gonna Need a VP

    2 Complete Bigly Ball Sets (10 balls)!

    Hot Damn! Your ambition and vision are impressive. If you're concerned that something may happen to you, like removal from your post, and you want your replacement picks up where you left off, then this is for you.

    Delivery INCLUDED in the USA.

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  8. Select this reward

    Pledge $415 or more About $415

    Yeah! I got a Good One!

    You choose your favorite best(worse) "advice" as 45 has said or done it for any Bigly Ball of your choice!

    Keep in mind it has to fit in 23 characters.

    We reserve the right to reject or tweak it with you if it is inappropriate...wait, forgot who we were talking about!

    ***AND***

    2 Complete Bigly Ball Sets (10 balls)!

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  9. Select this reward

    Pledge $1,000 or more About $1,000

    Put MY name on it.It's about ME anyway!

    Feel like YOU get BLAMED for EVERYTHING? Well now you can get Bigly Blamed by having your name appear in the Damage Control Bigly Ball!

    Now everybody will know that climate change (FAKE), Russian Collusion (FAKE), Fake Media (FAKE, but two negatives make a positive, so REAL) and Small Crowd Sizes (FAKE) are all YOUR FAULT!

    Keep in mind it has to fit in 23 characters.

    ***AND***

    2 Complete Bigly Ball Sets (10 balls)!

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Funding period

- (31 days)