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"This IS the future! I wonder if MC Hammer is in space yet?" A post-apocalyptic comedy - Think Fallout mixed with Shaun of the Dead!
"This IS the future! I wonder if MC Hammer is in space yet?" A post-apocalyptic comedy - Think Fallout mixed with Shaun of the Dead!
"This IS the future! I wonder if MC Hammer is in space yet?" A post-apocalyptic comedy - Think Fallout mixed with Shaun of the Dead!
41 backers pledged $3,220 to help bring this project to life.

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Attack of the Walking Non-Perishables! A Humor Novel

$3,220

41

How do you think it’ll all end? We mean everything: the end of the world? Endless war? Meteor? Plague? Aliens? The Sun engulfing the Earth?

We’re not sure, either, but with humanity’s knack for the puzzlingly stupid, we’re betting it’s all going to be our fault.

And thus, we created The Man Who Slept Past Doom – our book series focusing on the lighter side of the apocalypse. Yes, the death of all civilization is a bit of a drag, but we’re of the mind that there aren’t enough humorous takes on the post-apocalyptic genre. And together – TOGETHER – we can change that!

We’ve done the hard part: write the first book of the series, Attack of the Walking Non-Perishables. All we need you to do is read and contribute to make it the best book it can be: professional editing, breathtaking cover art, and a delightful audiobook. Only YOU can make that happen.

 

Anton Martins thought he was a child of the 80s, another Gen-Xer living in the shadows of a rapidly escalating Cold War. Up until the moment a fatal system crash booted him out of the simulation he’d been living in, and he discovered that the world ended decades ago. Now he roams the ruins of a civilization destroyed by zombies, homicidal robots, nuclear weapons, but – most of all – the bumbling foolishness of the same super corp. that created the game he grew up in. 

Relying on his old simulator habits, Anton seeks out a new niche for himself by taking up any job or errand offered, dragging his new companions – a Soviet survivalist, a mechanically-minded goth, and an inept aspiring engineer – in his wake. The shambling silhouettes of preservative-laden, sugar zombies threaten at every turn as the party struggles to survive in the Wastelands, save a small settlement from itself, and decipher the lingering whispers of a wise man from the World Before. 

But the apocalypse is no video game, and humanity has no one to blame but itself… 

 

 

Meet the crazy cast exploring the wastes! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Y-Not Corp. is your typical megacorp – countless products and services, numerous brands, worldwide recognition. Y-Not is everywhere, and our heroes are constantly utilizing (and coping with) their products. 

They may also be responsible for the collapse of all society as this excerpt (also in our pitch video) shows: 

From Chapter 2, If There Be Bears: 

“I mean, what got us? Was it a zombie plague? Killer robots? Global warming? The Bomb?” 

“Ah!” Zhenya snapped her fingers. “I see. If I remember, it was really... all of them.” 

“Wait, what? All of them?” 

Zhenya nodded. “See, problem was change in climate made some crops difficult to grow. So big, successful, capitalist company Y-Not decide to create new substitutes. Most successful was called Sweetose – sugar substitute. Whole world is addicted to sugar, so very popular. Sweetose taste very good. Only problem is over consumption create zombies.” 

“Z–zombies?” Anton sputtered. “How does a sugar substitute make someone into a zombie?” 

“I don’t know exact science, but I hear probably because combine with many preservatives. Anyway, people become like dead, become mindless, always looking for more Sweetose, but do not rot away. Is very, very big problem.” 

“Oh.” Well, that hadn’t been how he expected it to start at all. 

“So, then, Y-Not try to do damage control – build many robots to fight off zombie scourge.” 

“So, then the robots must have turned on us,” Anton suggested. 

“Right. Robots turn on human masters and cause mass destruction in all major cities.” 

“And I’m guessing we used The Bomb to take out the robots?”

“Oh, we used The Bomb at every step along way!”    

“Ah, I see.” Anton paused. “Wait, even on global warming?”

Y-Not apologizes for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused.

For eveything you need...why not Y-Not?
For eveything you need...why not Y-Not?

 

 

Naturally, we were seeking funding from Y-Not Corp., but all their lines seem to have gone down recently. 

Since appealing to fictional companies hasn’t worked for us, we decided to turn to you, the wonderful, brilliant, fine connoisseurs of literature that you are. We need your help to make this book the best it can be, and that includes a professional edit, cover art, and various smaller costs and fees. In return, we offer rewards at every level! 

Backer Song! 

All backers will be a part of the ‘Backer Song’! It’s where we’ll include the name of every backer in a long, retro themed song. So, the more people who donate, the longer we have to sing. See if you can make our heads explode! 

The Book – Attack of the Walking Non-Perishables! 

The main attraction, of course, is Attack of the Walking Non-Perishables. We have digital copies ($5), audiobooks ($20), paperbacks ($25), and hardbacks ($100) available. We will be happy to sign the books, if you’d like. 

Collectors Edition Loot! 

We also have some nice collectibles, including the "Y-Not Non-Perishables Safety Guide"! This handy brochure contains tips from Y-Not Prevent, their anti-zombie division, and has some lovable illustrations. 

The Digital Collector’s Edition ($10) includes digital versions of the brochure and art for this project. 

The Physical Collector’s Edition ($75) includes printed and signed brochures, a CD version of the audiobook, buttons of the Y-Not logos, bookmarks and more! 

Sponsor Rewards! 

For those who are truly (rich) patrons of the art, we are here to dance for your amusement. We can print your name in the book, let you pick our brains, record you a message or video, let you name a character, design a Y-Not Product, and more! Check out the higher reward tiers for all the details. 

COLLECT THEM ALL! 

All reward levels include previous rewards, so for example, if you get the paperback, you also get the digital copy and audiobook! The chart of rewards is below. You get what's at the level you back and everything above it!

Get yours today!
Get yours today!

ADD ONS 

If you wish to purchase more than one copy of our books, simply add the appropriate price per copy you want to your appropriate pledge, i.e. you must get one of the item already. 

Digital copy & Audiobook +$15 

Paperback +$20 

Hardcover +$50 

Collector’s Edition Loot +$25  

We will contact you to get the details. 

International Backers 

We want to support our international fans as well. Digital Only rewards are available up to $20. If you would like us to ship something to you, please add $10 to your pledge per item. 

 

Writers VKKV 

 

 

We are Vinni Kalman and Kim Vo, and we’ve been writing stuff since we could hold a pencil. We are involved in all kinds of creative projects: videos, improv shows, & games. We’ve written several games for Dusty Tome, including Ominous! – a choose-your-doom adventure funded right here on Kickstarter! 

We’ve always been a bit peculiar, but when it comes to comedy writing, that’s a plus! We always bring our best to entertain, and Attack of the Walking Non-Perishables! is no exception. 

MuseTap – Cover Artists 

This is not our book. But we may have had some inspirations...
This is not our book. But we may have had some inspirations...

 

Our cover art will be done by MuseTap. This freelance artist duo is very popular on the convention scene and an authority in the field of nerd culture. At night, they fight crime and make the world a safer place (We may be making this part up, but who knows? Secret identities and all…). 

Kale Perrien – Audiobook Narrator 

Kale is the frontman for Dusty Tome. When he’s not lending his voice to villainous mayors or soothing announcements, he does some woodworking or hones his culinary skills. 

He has a Bacon Number of 3.

Desi Designs – Brochure Artist 

 

Desi was the illustrator for Ominous! and she brings her talents to the little zombies which will be a featured part of the Y-Not brochure. She draws constantly and enjoys games and tabletop.  

Other Contributors 

Van Vo – Commercial Composer/Performer 

Van is in a band and can play over 5 different instruments. He’s also a professional dancer, a pillar in the fighting game community, and a game store owner (No, we are not making this up). 

Titus Taube – Radio Commercial Announcer 

He’s a real doctor! From America! We just roped him into doing our commercial. 

 

That’s it! We hope you’ve enjoyed yourself here, and we will continue to entertain on our various internet media (listed below), as well as right here in our updates. 

 

 

 

 

As part of the Kickstarter Community, we are proud to be Kicking it Forward! We pledge that 5% will go to other Kickstarter projects.

Kicking it Forward - Click to learn more!
Kicking it Forward - Click to learn more!

 

Now, great and wonderful reader, we need you to click over and make a pledge right now. The world could end at any moment, and with your help, we can all laugh in the face of doom!

 

Risks and challenges

The world could end. Seriously, have you looked at the Doomsday Clock? It should’ve happened by now.

Otherwise, the book itself has been written, so you’re guaranteed to have that. There may be delays in audiobook recording, printing, or cover art, but we have worked with all these people in the past, and consider them very reliable. We will inform you of any delays.

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  1. Select this reward

    Pledge $1 or more About $1.00

    MINI SIZE: Backer Song

    We appreciate every backer we have, so all backers will have their name sung in the retro themed Backer Song! Depending on our audience, this may take a while. All names will also be listed on our webpage.
    -It's bite sized!

    Includes:
    • Name in Backer Song
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    Pledge $5 or more About $5

    FUN SIZE: Digital Copy of the Book

    Enjoy Attack of the Walking Non-Perishables in digital format!
    -Everybody loves fun size candy; it has fun right in it!

    Includes:
    • Name in Backer Song
    • E-Book
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    Pledge $10 or more About $10

    ORIGINAL SIZE: E-Collector's Edition

    The Digital Collector's Edition gives you all the art from this campaign, the cover art, and our Y-Not Safety Brochure!
    -Now available on the impulse aisle.

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    • Name in Backer Song
    • E-Book
    • Digital Brochure and Art Images
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    Pledge $20 or more About $20

    KING SIZE: Audiobook

    The Audiobook, read by Kale Perrien, delivered digitally for your listening pleasure.
    -For when you're really munchy.

    Includes:
    • Name in Backer Song
    • E-Book
    • Digital Brochure and Art Images
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    Pledge $25 or more About $25

    OVERSIZED NOVELTY BAR: Paperback

    Now we get physical! Get all the digital rewards and we'll send you the Paperback!
    -Warning: Pace yourself. Don't try to finish an oversized bar in one sitting.

    Includes:
    • Name in Backer Song
    • E-Book
    • Digital Brochure and Art Images
    • Digital Audiobook
    • Paperback
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    Pledge $50 or more About $50

    FAMILY BAG: Collector's Edition

    Get a Bag of Loot with your book, including a CD version of the Audiobook, the brochure (signed), Y-Not buttons, bookmarks, and whatever else we can fit in it!
    -More to share or more for you!

    Includes:
    • Name in Backer Song
    • E-Book
    • Digital Brochure and Art Images
    • Digital Audiobook
    • Paperback
    • Collector's Pack: Audiobook CDs, Y-Not Buttons, ect.
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    Pledge $100 or more About $100

    PARTY PACK: Hardcover Book

    You are definitely fancy; you want the finer things, so have a nice Hardcover version of the book.
    -Not just for parties!

    Includes:
    • Name in Backer Song
    • E-Book
    • Digital Brochure and Art Images
    • Digital Audiobook
    • Paperback
    • Collector's Pack: Audiobook CDs, Y-Not Buttons, ect.
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    Pledge $200 or more About $200

    CANDY CRATE: Thanks & Name in Book

    You're an impressively clever person, so we will put your name in the Special Thanks part of the book. We will also put Your Name (or an inoffensive name of your choice) somewhere in the Book.
    -Quick, before the trick-or-treaters get here.

    Includes:
    • Name in Backer Song
    • E-Book
    • Digital Brochure and Art Images
    • Digital Audiobook
    • Paperback
    • Collector's Pack: Audiobook CDs, Y-Not Buttons, ect.
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    • Name in the Book
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    Pledge $500 or more About $500

    CANDY STORE: Hangout and Make

    You're a handsome, super-literate hero of the common man, and we want to talk to you! You get to Hangout with us and pick our brains on anything you want. Part of the conversation will be about a project where we make a Short (audio or video) for your amusement.
    -Did you want all that candy, or did you just want to lord it over the school children?

    Includes:
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    • Digital Brochure and Art Images
    • Digital Audiobook
    • Paperback
    • Collector's Pack: Audiobook CDs, Y-Not Buttons, ect.
    • Hardcover Book
    • Special Thanks in the Book
    • Name in the Book
    • Hangout with VKKV
    • 30 Second Simple Audio/Video Greeting
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    CANDY FACTORY: Design a Y-Not Product

    Thank you for your kind patronage, most illuminating, debonair benefactor. For you, we will work with you to design a Y-Not Product. We'll then feature your product, credit your invention, and even create a short commercial of your product. Your Character will be persistent and appear in more than this one book.
    -And Wonka didn't have to test you

    Includes:
    • Name in Backer Song
    • E-Book
    • Digital Brochure and Art Images
    • Digital Audiobook
    • Paperback
    • Collector's Pack: Audiobook CDs, Y-Not Buttons, ect.
    • Hardcover Book
    • Special Thanks in the Book
    • Name in the Book
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    THE WHOLE SNACK EMPIRE

    Wow. You've decided to single-handedly fund our project. You are certainly a benevolent patron of the arts. Well, since you've decided to sponsor us, I guess we should give you credit for it with a big SPONSORED BY page with your name and picture on it. Your named Character will be one of the three Y-Not founders, ensuring that you will be part of the lore for the entire series. You will be first in the Backer Song, we will sing your praises in your very own Patron Song, and yes, we'll take requests. You will be the best looking of all our good looking backers.
    -You want it all, you got it all!

    Includes:
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    • E-Book
    • Digital Brochure and Art Images
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    • Paperback
    • Collector's Pack: Audiobook CDs, Y-Not Buttons, ect.
    • Hardcover Book
    • Special Thanks in the Book
    • Name in the Book
    • Hangout with VKKV
    • 30 Second Simple Audio/Video Greeting
    • Design a Y-Not Product
    • SPONSORSHIP! Credit
    • Patron Song!
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Funding period

- (29 days)