Hello internettes, I'm Riley Michael Parker, and with the help of my writing partner, the very talented Carolyn Main, I am getting ready to shoot my first full-length feature. The film is called THE PROMISE KEEPERS, and it is a satirical exploitation comedy similar to the early films of the infamous John Waters (think PINK FLAMINGOS, FEMALE TROUBLE, and DESPERATE LIVING). The plot centers around a polygamist family that operates on its own code of ethics, and our cameras follow these people as they kidnap, slash, and dance their way through 85 minutes of the most shocking and jaw-dropping scenes you are likely to see in a narrative film.
The script for THE PROMISE KEEPERS was written in early winter 2009, and pre-production began right away - making props, planning wardrobe, and even the construction of original set pieces. Carolyn and I passed the script around our circle of friends to gather interest, and a shoe-string budget was put together fairly quickly, but sadly we are just about out of shoes and we need your help to bring THE PROMISE KEEPERS to life. Our goal is $5000 dollars, which will cover all currently projected production and post production costs, with just a little bit of wiggle room for unforeseen issues. This is bare-bones production, however, and if we are able to raise more than our current goal, all of the additional money will be used to its fullest potential - first during production (giving us the option of a longer shooting schedule and allowing us to produce more elaborate versions of our currently planned special effects), and then in the marketing and distribution of the film, plus travel costs and entrance fees to festivals. We are very budget-conscious - making most of our own props and cutting corners wherever possible without hurting the integrity of the picture - and we will stretch every dollar we bring in as far as we possibly can, making sure you get the most bang for your buck.
"That all sounds well and good," you say, "but why exactly should I contribute to this film?" Well, aside from how ridiculously awesome all of it is, one reason is that we have a lot to offer you in return. Individuals who donate $25 or more will receive a PROMISE KEEPERS poster signed by members of the cast and crew, a contribution of $150 will get you an original prop from the film, and all of our donors will recieve special updates and access to behind the scenes materials. And the prizes just keep getting better the more you donate. For example, the first person to donate $5000* (hey, it could happen) will get The Ultimate Riley Michael Parker Portland Experience (look to the right of the screen for more details), which may sound too good to be true, but I assure you that it isn't. All of this on top of the fact that by donating to THE PROMISE KEEPERS you will be contributing to the first entry in a unique niche of exploitation cinema that has been all-but-dead since John Waters went PG and made HAIRSPRAY (god love him, it makes sense, but still, I'd rather watch his early ones). Nobody makes movies like THE PROMISE KEEPERS anymore. Troma makes a lot of over-the-top exploitation, but with their tongue firmly in their cheeks and almost no attention to character development - and Eli Roth and a few others have made some pretty good horror films in the last five years, but they focus on gore and tits while setting comedy and characters aside. We are doing something that isn't being done anymore, and we gaurantee you that you will see things in our film that you never thought you'd see, hear things you never thought you'd hear, and, most of all, be entertained to the f*cking hilt. I mean it. Like, no foolies, for suresies, to the f*cking hilt.
Thank you in advance for your donation!
-Riley Michael Parker-
Oh, and by the way... For those of you not familiar with how Kickstarter works, it is an all or nothing deal. When you donate you are actually making a pledge, and then nothing happens with the money until the closing date on our fundraiser. If we meet, or even go beyond our current goal, we get to keep all the money we raised, but if we don't meet our goal then you keep your pledged amount and no money exchanges hands. The more people who donate, the more likely it is that we will meet our goal, so please, spread the word about THE PROMISE KEEPERS!
*If a second (or even third) person were to donate $5000, you would not get TURMPPE, but we would do something pretty great for you, because that would be awesome of you to donate that much, and we would love you, and we would do something like totally wicked awesome to show you just how great you really are! However, after the first three people to donate $5000, if anyone contributes that much money (or more), they will get a "thank you" card and NOTHING ELSE. I am serious. It doesn't make sense, I know, but it's something I came up with right now and I plan to enforce it. I know how silly it is - I really, really do. Leave me alone about it. What's done is done.
- (31 days)