A backwards announcement
So here's the deal. I've been spending the last couple years intentionally and intensely digging really deep into my own soul, psychology, and emotions. This has often been difficult, sometimes meaning that I relive painful memories or admit painful truths, but there has always been healing on the other side.
When I finally figure out why I've been doing this or that unhelpful behavior for years, and finally accept and heal that scared or angry part of me that is at the root of that behavior, I feel the most incredible sense of freedom, love and compassion.
It is a gradual process, and sometimes I fall back into old habits, but not as much as I expected. Unlike learning to break a bad habit with willpower, this strategy is far more effective (and painful and wonderful).
So here's my painful truth of the moment. When I decided to make this calendar not just for myself, but to put it out into the world, I was scared that I'd fall into old patterns too easily. I've done a lot of big projects before, successfully by most standards, but I achieve that success by pushing myself to the point of exhaustion and in the process fray my relationships with others.
I promised myself that I wouldn't do that this time. If I did this at all, it would be with my new self leading the way. And for the most part, I've managed to do that. That's a new kind of success.
But here's the rub. It was very important to me to keep the calendar at an easily affordable price, and also to print on recycled paper, but those two goals are in conflict. In order to print the calendar at a per unit cost that is reasonably less than the selling price, I need the volume discount of printing several hundred.
The initial reception to the calendar was amazing, and then it started leveling out and I got scared that not many more would sell and I'd be stuck with a large printing bill and nothing left over. Don't worry, I always keep my commitments and you'll all get the calendar no matter what. That's one of the better parts of myself.
Yet I was really hoping this could help finance at least part of my next year on the road, so I could work through even more personal gunk.
So I caved to the advice of many Kickstarter project creators and set up a "stretch goal" to try to encourage more sales. And as soon as I sent out that email, I immediately felt horrible. It was an act of fear, not of faith.
Which is why I come before you this morning to say I'm sorry for not trusting, for trying to manipulate you, for bringing that negative energy to this project. Will you please forgive me?
So there will be no stretch goal. But I'm not a tease, and I keep my commitments. So I am going to finish making those bonus nature activity cards and send them to everyone no matter what happens. Even if not a single calendar more is sold. You will all get the extra activity ideas and scavenger hunt cards to enjoy.
And now I feel more at peace again. I feel the positive energy I have felt throughout this project.
Of course I still hope that a lot more people buy the calendar, but no matter what, I will be happy just getting this to you and being a small part of your journey through the next year. That was all I originally wanted to do, and I will be happy doing just that.
(And if you've made it through this long email, bless you).
With a clear conscience,
P. S. Remember the Super Blood Moon is tonight! Weather permitting, I hope you'll pop outside and take a look for at least a few minutes.