About this project
Tall Tales of Felony and Failure
"Like Oscar Wilde and “The Picture of Dorian Gray” before him, Warren Haustrumerda takes you on a moral journey that is in parts incredibly funny, and in others really sad – but a thouroughly satisfying read all-round." - OpenBookSociety
Cranston Staigne is a normal, young American male with a beautiful new family. Until, that is, he runs away from it all after a horrible tragedy. After discovering his ability to control time, Cranston embarks with his cohort Tom on a drunken escapade across three continents. During their travels, the pair commit numerous crimes, evade authorities, and cheat death. It’s magnificent decadence and dereliction as they explore unlimited power and unrepentant failure.
"Having just read Warren Haustrumerda’s debut book, Tall Tales of Felony and Failure, my mind keeps telling me to sum it up with a single phrase. A complete reversal of the “life is pretty bad sometimes, but you can sometimes find peace” stylings of Kurt Vonnegut in Slaughterhouse Five, one can corrupt an oft repeated phrase from it and capture the essence of Tall Tales perfectly: Nothing is Beautiful and Everything Hurts." - Brodzky Books
The Brass Tacks
My goal in this Kickstarter campaign is to fund promotion of my ebook, Tall Tales of Felony and Failure. This novella was recently released by an independent publisher with limited resources available to promote individual works. I've already invested what I can afford into limited web advertising, but would like to increase the scope of these promotions to get the word out (a very hard nut to crack). All boosterism is sincerely appreciated!
My funding goal is basically a stab in the dark because I'm not really sure what to expect. Please rest assured that all contributions (minus Kickstarter's and Amazon's cut and a small set-aside for taxes because I don't understand taxes) will be used for promoting Tall Tales of Felony and Failure!
I also like brewing beer, so... there's that.
Thank you all for your consideration and contributions!
Links
Tall Tales of Felony and Failure homepage
Tall Tales of Felony and Failure blog
Tall Tales of Felony and Failure on Amazon
Reviews from some Something Awful Forums Goons!
“The book is a good, quick, and funny read.” – utahisnotastate
“Awesome and quick read, man. It read like a disturbed offspring of Hunter S. Thompson and Jack Kerouac.” – Drunk Tomato
“The novella Tall Tales of Felony and Failure isn’t a light read. It has a lot going for it though. The story is as black as they come. However, the writing style flows nicely and the characters develop as the story progress. I do recommend this book… make sure to read the extended ending.” – Anal Trauma
“The extra chapters really add a lot to the story. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and it really does flow quickly in a sort of dreamlike way.” – Capntastic
“Warren’s description is far beyond most writers of today. His absurdist attitude matches the current zeitgeist in America’s careless, individualistic world view. The allusions to memories, different times and his plot kept me turning the page. I got done reading this book in two days and was hooked the entire time, wondering what would happen next.” - The_Skull_Electric
“If you’re sitting on a pile of books and Tall Tales of Felony and Failure is one of them — do yourself a favor and read it first! I promise you won’t regret doing it!!!” - Red Robin Hood
“Just finished Tall Tales of Felony and Failure. Have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it… It’s actually quite funny as I found myself laughing more times then when I read funny books from more prominent writers. If you’re looking for a short quick fun read I suggest supporting a goon and picking this up. I was pleasantly surprised! Thanks WarrenH and good luck! Be sure to let me know if you decide to make this a series!” - smarion2
FAQ
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This project reached the deadline without achieving its funding goal on March 21.
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Permanently listed as a Tall Tales of Felony and Failure booster at malum.org.
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Free copy of Tall Tales of Felony and Failure in epub, mobi, or pdf format plus $5 reward.
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Hardcopy of the Tall Tales of Felony and Failure cover, personally signed by the author, plus the above rewards (additional $10 required for international shipping).
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Free copy of Collapse Depth (working title), the next book in the Tall Tales of Felony and Failure universe in epub, mobi, or pdf format (completion date TBD), plus all of the above rewards.
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Mention in the Acknowledgments section of Collapse Depth, the next book in the Tall Tales of Felony and Failure universe, plus all of the above rewards.
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SNAPPY DRESSER: Your choice of any single article from the Submarine Pirate Shop at http://malum.spreadshirt.com/ plus the $5 reward.
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YOU ARE A MAGICAL PERSON. All of the above rewards.
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GODFATHER: You will be a major character who faces a tragic end in Collapse Depth, plus all of the above rewards.
Project By
Connected as Warren Haustrumerda (1979 friends)
Warren Haustrumerda is a former U.S. Navy submariner and current author, brewer, submarine pirate, and derelict. His debut novella, "Tall Tales of Felony and Failure", has recently been published by Wild Child Publishing.
Warren's whereabouts are typically unknown. He can typically be reached, though, by email at warren (at) malum.org or directly at http://malum.org.
