About this project
What’s a Smashy Claw?
Hey there, we’re Smashy Claw, an alternative rock band from Longmont, Colorado. We are currently working on our debut studio album. The goal for this project is to raise the funds needed to produce the recordings professionally.
Alright fine, how are you making the album?
We have found a studio in Parker, CO that we think is the ideal place to record our CD. Once our project has been funded, we will immediately set up studio time and start making some sweet, sweet music babies.
Okay, so how are you spending my cash, dudes?
All funds raised during this campaign will go towards paying the hourly rate of the studio. The place we will be recording in charges $30 per hour. As you can imagine, making a final polished album will be quite the time-consuming process. Judging by our meticulous (cough, cough, perfectionist) work-ethic, we imagine it will take at least 5 hours per song. This includes the production of all instruments (vocals, guitar, bass, etc...), as well as mixing. With the planned track list of at least 14 songs, those hours will add up quickly. We hope to alleviate the financial apocalypse that would surely come by asking you, the wonderful internet, to participate in the lovely act of reciprocity.
So, have you recorded anything yet?
Sort of! We’ve home-recorded 3 full band demos for the album thus far. We hope to take these songs and make them more shiny and polished in a real studio. If you’re not sure about whether our music is your thing, please go check out these home recordings at http://www.smashyclaw.com, as they’re a pretty good representation of what our 'sound' sounds like.
You’re not a bunch of robots, right?
Not at all, dear reader. In fact, here is a bit of information on the guys in the band:
Austin Aeschliman (Vocals, bass, guitar, keyboards, hair) - Austin enjoys: Doctor Who, Batman, They Might Be Giants, and cake. Austin does not enjoy: genocide, alarm clocks, the Black Eyed Peas, and having sharp metal spikes thrown at his head.
Nathan Long (Vocals, guitar, piano, keyboards, talent) - Nathan enjoys: 30 Rock, The Big Bang Theory, AC/DC, and Cheetos. Nathan does not enjoy: annoying children, long walks on the beach, Hitler, and getting his hand placed in a bowl of water if he has fallen asleep at a social gathering.
Thank you to everybody who pledges any amount in advance. Making our first album is a huge dream of ours, and we love you eternally, everlastingly, and some might even say creepily for your support.
FAQ
-
It is a band from Longmont, Colorado that is composed mostly of carbon based life forms with the names: Austin Aeschliman and Nathan Long. And no, you're not saying it right. 'Smashy Claw' is pronounced as: 'Goldfish Refrigerator Omelet'.
-
Look unto me, my son. For you shall see the meaning of life, besides watching Breaking Bad, is to pledge money to Smashy Claw.
-
Maybe just a little something, don't worry, it's not too noticeable.
-
Well, my name is Austin Jon Aeschliman. I was born on July 25, 1992 in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I have two birth marks on my left leg. My hair is long enough to negate having to buy any more clothing for the rest of my life. I like waffles. My social security number is (redacted). I travel five miles every morning on a bike to college. I have a signed copy of Weird Al's newest album. I can bend my left pointer finger tip to the back of my left hand. I once saved a man from a burning building and then rescued America's economy with the idea of bacon-flavored Coca-Cola (I also am a compulsive liar). I just recently re-watched, Batman and Robin, still terrible. How's that? Are we married now?
-
Mark Hamill. Tip for remembering: you can't spell 'Mark Hamill' without 'Arkham'.
-
Mostly heroin.
-
Hell no. You're a fool for even considering. Seriously, $1000 on a rock band you've never heard of? Where's your sense of shame! Get out of my internet, you disgust me!
But seriously, we would love you for ever and ever.
-
Their origins are largely a mystery to the human population of Earth. It is theorized that all the babies came from the core of the sun around the year 14 BCE in a waffle powered Caravan. Their tactics for brainwashing the normals of the world are twofold, one: their deadly, parasitic amniotic sacks and two: to paralyze people with their fearsome cuteness.
Have a question? If the info above doesn't help, you can ask the project creator directly.
10
Backers
$221
pledged of $1,500 goal
0
seconds to go
Funding Unsuccessful
This project reached the deadline without achieving its funding goal on March 2.
Pledge $1 or more Pledge $1 or more
The "Look at Me, I Helped!" Level: If you pledge the minimum amount, you'll receive a digital participation plaque and you'll get added to our special KickStarter mailing list. "Why would I pay to get spammed?", you ask? This mailing list will send behind-the-scenes information on the creation of the album, including demos and lyrics. Maybe even some pictures of my dog!
Pledge $5 or more Pledge $5 or more
The "Give Me Some Singles, Band Guys!" Level: Everything above, plus two digital maxi-singles from the album. A maxi-single is pretty much an EP, with an emphasis on one track from the record. So basically, 2 free EPs for five dollars!
Pledge $10 or more Pledge $10 or more
The "Stop Stalling and Give Me the Album Already!" Level: Everything above, plus a free digital copy of the album with full digital liner notes and album art, given to you a week before the album's release date!
Pledge $15 or more Pledge $15 or more
The "I'm an Old Person, Give Me a CD!" Level: Everything above, plus a free physical copy of the album and a digital bonus disc (with commentaries, full demos, and instrumentals)!
Pledge $25 or more Pledge $25 or more
The "Music! Music! Why Can't You Give Me More Music, You Heartless Monsters?!" Level: Everything above, plus the band will vandalize your copy of the CD with their autographs. Also, you'll get a digital EP of nine other new songs. Lastly, you'll be listed as a 'Contributor' in the album liner notes. Show people that you had $25 that one day and got mentioned in a rock band's album notes as a result. A rock band, people! You'll be the gosh darn grooviest living organism in your entire town!
Pledge $50 or more Pledge $50 or more
The "Tangible Discs, You Say? Yes, I Would Appreciate a Few More Items of That Nature!" Level: Everything above, plus a physical copy of the EP and an extra physical copy of the album. Give it to a friend, use it as: a coaster, the perfect doughnut plate, the world’s most obnoxious ring, a Frisbee, an on-the-go mirror, impress your friends with your new ten dollar hat, a rather effective pizza cutter, a bed for your pet hamster. Or ya know, you could actually listen to it. Lastly, you'll get a poster of the full-color album art to hang up in your room for all your friends to be amazed by and jealous of.
Pledge $75 or more Pledge $75 or more
The "Give Me Your Soul!" Level: Everything above, plus we'll send you the songs as we complete them (one by one, no waiting for release dates!). Also, you'll receive a huge .ZIP file of every previous song Austin or Nathan has ever recorded. Lastly, you'll be listed as a 'Producer' on the album. Fill up your resume, kids!
Pledge $100 or more Pledge $100 or more
The "(Your Name Here) Theme Song!" Level: Everything above, plus you'll get your own personal theme song, composed by the band (once the project is funded we'll email you to start the writing process). We'll send you a bag with all sorts of undetermined but still very neat goodies in it (maybe a Smashy Claw hoodie, maybe some tooth paste, who knows?)! Also, we'll perform a concert over Skype (or any other online means of your choosing) for you, made up of your favorite songs from the album!
Pledge $250 or more Pledge $250 or more
The "Draw Me on Your Primitive CD Art, Puny Humans!" Level: Everything above, plus we'll cover any song you desire and release it however you want (you like Margaritaville, huh? We say: bring on the parrots!). You'll be listed as an 'Executive Producer' in the liner notes. Also, your likeness will be incorporated into the album art. You can even suggest the specifics of what you look like and what you're doing in the art. Want to be running in circles? Fine! Want to be eating a sandwich? Neat! Want to have laser cannons for arms that shoot fire and doughnuts? Amazing! In fact, someone please choose that last one, that'd be awesome.
Pledge $400 or more Pledge $400 or more
The "I'm Two Dimensional, AAAAH!" Level: Everything above, plus your likeness will be incorporated into a future animated music video! You'll receive a vinyl copy of the album, a Gertrude the Guillotine plush doll (based on the song "CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP"), and two articles of exclusive Smashy Claw related apparel. Also, you'll be listed as a Super Executive Producer in the liner notes.
Pledge $1,000 or more Pledge $1,000 or more
The "Geez, Really? $1,000 on Little Ol' Us? Cool!" Level: Everything above, plus an exclusive set of 3 songs that will never be released to anyone else ever. You'll be listed as a Ultra Mega Turbo Ninja Action Force Squad Executive Producer. Lastly, you'll get every future studio album of ours for free in a digital form.
Pledge $1,500 or more Pledge $1,500 or more
The "Overlord" Level: If you single handedly help us meet our full goal, you will receive everything above, plus every future Smashy Claw product free forever (physical copies and digital). We'll personally get a tattoo of your name on our foreheads (note: no we will not, that was a joke). Also, you'll get to give a title to one of our future EPs (9 tracks), the songs that appear on it, the genre of each song, and any other thing you want. You will receive free concert tickets to any future SC show you want to attend. Lastly, you will be listed as the Overlord of the Universe on the album liner notes.
Project By
Has not connected their Facebook account.
Austin is an alternative rock musician from Longmont, Colorado, one half of the musical song making band, Smashy Claw. Since 2002, Austin has been writing and recording a whole mess of stuff (though as it turns out, most of the stuff recorded in 2002 was atrocious). Since then, Austin has come to be an accomplished song making guy, and musician who records stuff and things when he feels like it.
Throughout his tenure as a singer/songwriter, Austin has performed in several places across the country and wrote the official theme song to the geek music festival, Nerdapalooza. In 2011, Austin co-produced the popular "Weird Al" Yankovic tribute album Twenty-Six and a Half, Yankovic himself said about the compilation, "It’s fantastic. Everybody did an amazing job I’m so flattered and honored."
Now Austin will seamlessly switch to first person…
I've been writing music since I was but a wee lad. Since 2002, I have been evolving my craft. I finally think my songwriting is strong enough to make a CD out of my original material. I'm just a young guy, whose dream in life is to have an album of my own original songs, something I can put all of myself into and be proud of forever. I want to give you guys an album that you can truly enjoy, one that will start me off on my career as a songwriter. This is where it all starts. Let's make a record!
