Dick Cheney Saves Paris: A Novel
A Fiction project in San Diego, CA by Ryan Forsythe ·
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Update #3: The author almost Paris's BFF (so close...)
Posted on June 9, 2011
We here at Dick Cheney Saves Paris Central planned on a weekly update, but sometimes there is news so important that it can not wait even a few days. You deserve that much.
Just moments ago, we learned that the author of our project here was named an Honorable Mention in Paris Hilton's very own Creative BFF Contest. For those of you not in the know, BFF stands for "Best Friend Forever." (At least we think it does. This may be a good time to note that we are generally not "in the know" about the latest acronyms; in fact, it was just until recently that we thought BFF stood for "best female friend" and that OMG stood for "Orchestral Maneuvers in the Gark"--which doesn't even make sense--so maybe don't take our word for it. And yes, when we say "we" of course we mean "I" or "me".)
The award-winning image features the author goofing around with Paris a few years back at the Del Norte County Fair in Crescent City, California. To see the image, scroll down. To see it in comparison to the other four winners (there is one first place, two runners-up, and two honorable mentions), visit the contest winners page. And to comment on how you think the author was totally robbed and should have taken 1st place (I mean, he at least included a dinosaur in the photo!), click the link, scroll down, and post a comment.
What's that you ask? Why enter such a contest? The answer is simple: If you can't ask your BFF for a blurb of your book, who can you ask?
Will Paris respond to our request? Will Dick Cheney sponsor his own creative BFF contest so we can ask him the same question? Does an honorable mention in a creative BFF contest mean we can now use the phrase "award-winning author"? And what does the Iran-Contra scandal have to do with any of this?
To find out the answers to these and other questions, consider pre-ordering the book now (by donating at the $5 level or above).
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Funding Successful
This project successfully raised its funding goal on July 2, 2011.
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6 Backers
UPDATED. Everyone who contributes will receive acknowledgment forever in the book itself (including ebook versions!). Bear in mind CIA types may read the book, so there's a chance you may be added to various "lists" (such as the No-Fly list) so you may wish to give the name of an annoying neighbor, enemy, or spouse instead. ALSO... All $1 backers will also receive one chance at a book AND one chance at an ebook. For every three $1 donors, I will give away an ebook and for every fifteen $1 donors, I will give away a print copy. Translation: if you donate a mere $1, you have a 1 in 3 shot at an ebook and a 1 in 15 shot at a print copy!
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9 Backers
NEW LEVEL! The "SMODCAST" Reward. ($2.99 is the price the ebook will be offered at come August 30 when the book is published, so you can consider it a pre-order) - In honor of mention right this very minute on smodcast.com (as I'm writing this, probably not as you are reading this), you will receive a .pdf or ebook version (your choice) of the novel. Plus, you will be acknowledged forever in the novel. And sure, this kinda makes the $5 level moot, but life's not fair.
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The "THANKS FROM THE HEART" Package (Dick Cheney has had 5 heart attacks, as of Feb 2011) - You will receive a pdf or ebook version of the novel and acknowledgment forever in the book.
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The "PARTY LIKE IT'S 1962" Package (Dick Cheney was 21 when he got his first DUI in 1962) - You will receive a physical copy of the novel, signed if you like, plus a pdf or ebook if you want that too; a free download of the Love Earth Music novel soundtrack "music from & inspired by the novel DICK CHENEY SAVES PARIS"; plus acknowledgment forever in the book.
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The "VICE PRESIDENTIAL PACKAGE" Package (Dick Cheney was the 46th vice president) - You will receive two signed copies of the novel, dedicated to your person of choice (and pdf or ebook version if you want that too); a physical copy of the novel soundtrack (and download if you want that too); plus acknowledgment in the book.
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The "PRESIDENTIAL" Package (Dick Cheney was *officially* president for 135 minutes while George Bush had a colonoscopy) - You will receive four copies (signed if you like) and two CDs (as above); digital versions; and acknowledgment in the book itself (italicized, even!). Heck, I'll even throw in a copy of my "Little Veal Cutlet That Couldn't" children's book.
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• Limited Reward
(666 of 666 remaining)
The "BEAST OF A PACKAGE" Package (666 is recognized in the New Testament as the number of the beast or devil) - You will receive everything in the "Presidential" Package, plus a copy of Cheney's memoir (due out the same day) and 20 copies of the novel, so you can have your own "Dick Cheney Saves Paris" book club discussion. Furthermore, the author will appear at your book club or other event (if it doesn't cost him too much to get there; if it does, we can always try Skype) to discuss the book and answer your questions. Or just chat about things or maybe cook something.
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In addition to being an Aquarius and an ENTP, Ryan Forsythe is a writer, artist, editor, teacher, dad, and ex-hostel employee. Originally from Cleveland, he now lives in Southern Cal. Ryan received a Master of Arts in Teaching Writing from Humboldt State and is presently a student in San Diego State's MFA program in Creative Writing. He believes he is the only Pushcart Prize nominee in history to have won NFG magazine's "Great 69-er Award" (for best original 69-word story). His children's book (for adults), "The Little Veal Cutlet That Couldn't," is now available in some places where fine books are sold.
