Kickstarter

An email THANK YOU (when the project succeeds) from my own personal email expressing my deep and abiding gratitude for your help. You will have to sign a binding contractual agreement not to disclose this email address to any third party on pain of death by tickles from my step-children. On second thought, I’ll just trust you not to share it.

I will send you weekly email updates on how the recording is going, where I’m playing, and whether or not I’ve gone completely mad yet. You’ll get to share my excitement, suffer with me through the stress, and watch my slow decline into insanity in near-real-time. (+the email TY)

A copy of the CD you’re helping produce, mailed two days before the release date. International backers, it would be greatly appreciated if you could add $2.00 to cover the shipping cost. (+ weekly emails and email TY for helping out)

A digital copy of the CD by email at least one week before the release date PLUS a signed hardcopy of the CD. International backers, it would be greatly appreciated if you could add $2.00 to cover the shipping cost. (+weekly emails and email TY)

A merchandise pack that may include picks, keychains, zipper pulls, posters, and/or a crust of bread from a sandwich I ate in the summer of 2006. (+early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

A handwritten lyric/chord sheet of one of my original songs - you get to pick which one. I'm limiting this reward so I don't end up with writer's cramp! ;-D But if you're one of the lucky 25, you can hold in your hand something that was written by my hand. Good luck reading it... (+merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

Digital copies of three tracks from my (incredibly embarrassing) 2006 CD and/or my also-incredibly-embarrassing 2002 holiday CD. They were both so bad they didn’t even deserve titles, and went right into the rubbish bin. However, a few copies mysteriously survived and have been spotted lurking about the CD players of ruthless family members who just WON’T LET THEM DIE!! I promise you that you will laugh at how awful I sound on these. In fact, you may just die of laughter, so be warned. (+ merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

I will knit you a scarf or make you a pair of earrings. Bet you didn't know I'm so crafty, huh? Let me know what your favorite color is (and any important details, such as “Cotton makes me break out in hives” or “Gold jewelry doesn’t match my earlobes”) and I’ll create something especially for you; something that the rest of the world will never have. (+embarrassing tracks from earlier albums, merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

Your name in the album packaging and on my website under “Producer” so that everyone in the world (or at least anyone who bothers to look) will know that you made this possible. (+ embarrassing tracks from earlier albums, merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

Personal phone or Skype call from me thanking you profusely and giving you total props for making this project possible. Of course, I’ll have to get Skype first… (+Producer credit, embarrassing tracks from earlier albums, merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

I will create for you a set of prayer beads in the semi-precious stone of your choice. This might be a Catholic or Protestant rosary, Buddhist mala, Muslim subha, or pagan Goddess beads. Chained prayer beads will be made of sterling silver and sterling silver-filled wire; knotted prayer beads will be strung on silk cord and have sterling silver details. (+ Executive Producer credit, personal call, embarrassing tracks from earlier albums, merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

A 30-minute group brainstorming session via phone or Skype (or in person if you're near Bremerton) helping me come up with a name for the CD. Your suggestions, thoughts, and ideas will help refine the tone and choose the words that best express what this CD is about. Date will be set once we determine everyone’s availability; the session will take place at a public location in Bremerton. (+personal call, embarrassing tracks from earlier albums, merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

Your name in the album packaging and on my website under “Executive Producer” so that everyone in the world (or at least anyone who bothers to look) will know that you made this possible. (+personal call, embarrassing tracks from earlier albums, merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

Homemade dinner for 4 and a 45 min acoustic show by Mel in your home or other location – need to be located within two hours of Bremerton. The dinner may or may not involve my famous from-scratch sweet cornbread muffins, freshly baked bread, and/or handmade pasta. Of course, I'll be happy to work with any dietary restrictions you have. Oh, and if you live farther away, but you'd be willing to help with travel arrangements, I'll come anywhere in the world that you want. Just give me time to get my passport ready. (+ Executive Producer credit, personal call, embarrassing tracks from earlier albums, merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)

I will record a cover of any musical comedian's song of your choice. Yes, that includes the raunchy ones too. Wanna hear me singing a Rodney Carrington tune about titties and beer? Done. Shall I serenade you with Stephen Lynch's “traditional” Irish songs or a tune about superheroes? As you wish. I’ll pay for the licensing to record it (I sure don’t want those guys writing something mean about me!) and you’ll have quite the conversation starter for dinner at the in-laws’ house. (+ Executive Producer credit, personal call, embarrassing tracks from earlier albums, merch pack, early digital and signed hardcopy of the CD, weekly emails, and email TY.)