Kickstarter

When I look toward an adventure, I never imagine failing.  Failure is such a cold, hard word to swallow.  One that leaves an uncomfortable taste in your mouth, a lump in your throat, and a shiver down the spine.  Which makes me seem in denial to say that I haven't yet failed, and even when this project continues to run down to the very last second, unfulfilled… I still have yet to fail.  Not here, not now.

My long-shot-in-the-dark project funding was a blast.  I probably spoke more about it, than I've spoken about anything recently… with the exception of football.  I spoke about it enough, that I felt like at this point I'd be ready to begin my apologies.  The 'I'm sorry I went on for so long that you felt guilted into this' and all.  Fact is I have none of that for you today.

A lot of you know, that I unofficially readjusted my goal to be $2,000, and myself and my wife would put in the remaining $1,000 to make this come true.   I know with 10 days left, it seems silly to begin my concession speech.  But if I'm being honest, $700 left in ten days would need $70 a day in backers…  I don't have the faith in myself to believe that would happen.  And I'm okay with that.

What I'm writing today, though, is to begin the moving forward process.  My adventure, my trail, has been winding and fast.  There have been uphills and there have been dowhills.  What is certain, though, is that this trail is not complete yet.  The scenery will change, but I will keep hiking.  The reason I know I haven't yet failed, is because I still have passion for what it is I want to do.  Not only do I still hold that passion, it has grown, and with that has come confidence and strength.

I have been supported by family members, friends, friends of friends, and even some strangers.  I have put videos of myself up, singing songs and acting like a complete fool.  I have also attempted recording music in my home to share with the world.  I even went so far as to make a Reverbnation for myself, and posted a god awful rendition of a song… Because that's what I had and I'm putting myself out there.  For better or for better.  The only worse would be not trying at all. 

These are things I've never done before, and I expected people to run, laugh, or completely ignore me.  Instead, what has happened is I've found myself with 23 people (okay… So one of them is actually me) who are here willing to say "I want to see this happen bad enough, here is my money" and I've found a lot more folks who just genuinely either don't have the money, or haven't figured the site out yet.   But it's not, and never was about the money.

Starting possibly this weekend, I'll be converting a room in my home into a full time studio.  Myself and the wife have decided that we don't reallllly need a dining room, and I can instead stretch my legs out with microphones and instruments.  These songs will be made.  I may not have 100% of the equipment I'd want, and it certainly wont be coming out on a printed disc with packaging… But it's coming.  These tracks, these songs, these expressions from so deep in the heart are coming and if you want to be a part of it, it's free of charge.  Everything of mine is yours, for the simple fact that you all have made this possible.  Not through financial contributions, but through the support of a loving family.  Whether we have relation or not, you are a family to me.

 I wont be cancelling this project on Kickstarter.  Who knows, maybe there is some tycoon out there who wants to push me into a cabin.  I wouldn't argue.  I wont be pushing it anymore, and to those who have been… you're released from your obligations to me, and my dream.  My dream has been fulfilled, and my soul is overflowing because of you all.  For the next ten days, my voice and words will be used to begin bringing life to the music that I've coveted for so long.  If I cant do that in a cabin, I pay a mortgage for a reason and I can do it there.  I will do it there.

Please, anyone who was interested in this for more than just the fact that you were forced… To those who wanted to hear these songs, or hear what I say, I ask you keep in touch.  I'll be maintaining my studio blog as I work through the creative process.  I'll also always be available through email, or phone for that matter.  These songs are for you. 

So unless this blows up in it's final days, I'll see you in ten for a final goodbye.

I love you all.