I thought it would be nice to share a short story here. Nothing to do with the movie.
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jenny and brian are walking, to stretch their legs and their minds. they are also going to dinner. destination: the blue bayou restaurant near chicken world.

they get to the bottom of a hill and sigh as they realize that they have to walk up the hill, but they don’t mention it. they are too busy discussing the rampant redundancy taking place in the education system.

the hike becomes less so as they near the top of the hill. at the very peak there is an old building, with a thick, awkward piece of wood in front of it. like some sort of ancient park bench. there are plants on either side of it.

hey, isn’t that the thing your dad was talking about on saturday?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN he responds because he doesn’t want to seem sexist.

that’s the thing your dad was saying killed those people. they were trying to sleep inside of it and it crushed them.

oh, yeah, i guess i couldn’t understand that story without actually seeing it. what kind of idiot would tell a story about a bench anyway? that’s not a very compelling image for the mind’s eye.

i like my dad.

ok.

they walk past it. forever.

until a second later brian says hold on anagram. i wanna check it out for a second actually.

he walks up to the bench. ‘it must easily weigh over a billion pounds’, he thinks to himself in his head, and then out loud, and then two more times in his head.

yeah, says the girl. i forgot what her name was supposed to be. let’s call her ’simple’ from now on, because that’s what all girls are. this story is meant to be sexist and unironic.

simple disagrees. she thinks it’s probably around half a ton, which is accurate. she really is smarter than he is, but the author is male so we’ll never have a chance to explore that.

‘i want to get inside’ he says.

do you think it’s safe? she says. people died in it.

he takes his eyes off of her and looks at the bench. ‘oh i kind of want to get inside this bench too’ he says in his head.

yeah, i think it’s safe. as long as we don’t act like idiots, plain and simple. his name is plain from now on because why not.

he peeks over the top of the bench and sees the far side. it’s got some human bones. he tells simple not to be disgusted by him because he is about to disregard that it would be gross to lie on the bones. he gets an erection and a flashback. in his head he is suddenly able to see how this person died. the person was trying to give themselves shelter for the night by pushing the bench against the wall and it ended up crushing their skull. they had a strawberry and the trauma caused them to drop it. a strawberry plant was growing not two feet away from him at that point.

wow, he says outloud and then in his head several thousand times at once. plain happens to be holding two strawberries. he drops one on purpose, on the other side of the bench from where simple was standing looking at the strawberry plant.

he says ‘i want to recreate the scene. i want you to carefully shove the bench in and build me shelter so i can experience what they must have gone through. i have another strawberry’.

by the time he finishes the sentence and says ’strawberry’ he is against the wall and his skull is crushed. she has already been crying for half an hour, and is probably pregnant. he has dropped the strawberry what seemed like and could have very well been several years ago. she is decomposed in her place, waiting for him. there is a strawberry plant for each of them which has grown together and become one. the plant is named plain and simple strawberry farms, and its fruits are being sold by the bushel. people sometimes want to get shelter inside the bench and this only adds to the profit. they make the ground more fertile. in the end, this makes the oceans more fertile.