People suck at parking. You should let them know. Here's how.
DOESN'T THIS PISS YOU OFF?
We've all seen it a hundred times. You're driving through a busy parking lot and you spot an open space up ahead! You feel like you've hit the lottery!!! Until you get up close and see that some jackass has parked their Hummer WAAAYYY over the line, taking up two perfectly good spots.
Or maybe you're in a tight parking garage, you park your car perfectly, and when you come back you find some A-hole has done a fine job of blocking you in while you were away!
If you're anything like me you want to skin the person who did that and then toss them in some salt water!!! Or at least give them a good talking to.
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO ABOUT IT!
Well instead of pulling a Dexter on 'em, or maybe taking a key to the side of their car, or a pocket knife to the tire, or... well you get the picture. Instead of all that, how about just leaving them a polite little card that lets them know they are a complete jackass!
Just imagine a world where elitists driving big BMWs are publicly shamed into actually parking like normal human beings! Or where soccer moms take 5 extra seconds to make sure their 8 MPG SUV is actually between the lines.
So, we're gonna print up a massive batch of Bad Parking Cards, and send them to all our backers so we can work together to get a handle on this parking situation!
Crazy Stretch Goal #1!
Now, what we're going to do isn't rocket science here. HOWEVER, as a stretch goal, if our Kickstarter passes $50,000 (yeah, we know its not going to happen) we'll actually make our best attempt at launching some of these cards into space! (Why not?) And we'll make it an episode on Geek Beat TV! After all, aliens probably suck at parking too.
Insane Stretch Goal #2!!
As an even more ridiculous stretch goal, if we pass $500,000 (yeah right) we'll buy a Mercedes and demolish it on a LIVE broadcast!!! (Why WOULDN'T we do that?)
We will also go insane, because that would mean we have to deal with over 20,000 orders! But hey, we're game if you are.
So, buy some cards. Change the world. And stick it to the man.
Risks and challenges Learn about accountability on Kickstarter
Make no mistake, the risks associated with printing silly cards and shipping them to people are enormous. First, we have to complete the final design work. Our computer could crash, causing us to have to redo the design any number of times. This could result in long hours, late nights, and copious amounts of Red Bull.
After the design is complete, we have to find a printer capable of handling the enormous scale of our order. Have you ever seen $5,000 worth of business cards? Let us assure you, it would take a truck to move them. (Or at least a Mini Wagon).
The Earth could become deforested, resulting in a shortage of paper. Or whatever ink is made of could become scarce for some reason. Like an army of ink eating monsters could invade.
Also, our unpaid interns could quit. And we don't really know what that would do to us. But having said all of that, we're pretty sure that if you entrust us with printing up and shipping you some silly business cards to stick on people's windshields - we can handle it. If we do run into challenges, we'll find a new printer, hire more free interns, and do whatever is necessary to deliver the cards to our loyal backers! Just like the US Postal Service. Only better.
Good day to you sirs!
To be honest, I don't know! ;-)
THE LONG ANSWER:
As you guys can see, $25-35 per pack is pretty cheap. Remember that we have to include shipping in there and everything (except for International pledges, but even those might not always cover it). Right now I don't know what we're going to get charged to actually print cards, and I can't even estimate it because we don't know how many backers there will be.
Kinko's charges $20 just for a pack of 250, so I'm hoping we can get the cost down to at least 1/2 that by placing a big order with a print company.
There are a couple other considerations too...
1) How many designs are we going to end up with? I think everyone would like to have a few options to hand out, so we're going to need to not just print a bunch of one card, but print several (maybe many) different designs. Possibly even different colors. We'll have to see how this impacts cost.
2) We need to find a way to get the cards actually boxed up. This could be tricky if, for example, we try to put together a single box of say 5 different designs. That might actually have to be done by hand, and again depending on the volume this might be something the Geek Beat team can do, or it might be something we need the printer to do (which they'd charge us for).
So, here's the good news... we're planning to put all of the proceeds from the Kickstarter towards the fulfillment of the orders. When we get the final tally I'll negotiate the details and pick the vendors to help with that.
THE SHORT ANSWER:
Depending on how many people support the project and where the costs come in, I'm guessing we're looking at around 100-200 cards per order.
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Pledge $5 or moreYou selected
You'd love to see these cards make the world a better place! But you're not rude enough to do it yourself. THAT'S OK! Just pledge $5 to show your support and we'll list you on the Geek Beat blog post as a benefactor when we go live with this thing!Estimated delivery:
Pledge $25 or moreYou selected
100 backers All gone!
Its the super EARLY ADOPTER special price for you movers and shakers! You're gonna get a whole box full of these ridiculous cards! (There may even be multiple designs!!!) How many? TOO MANY! We're gonna just grab a big handful and shove them in a box for you. If you run into that many problem parkers, you need to move to another city! We'll ship em in October. Just in time to store them for 3 months to give away as Christmas / Hanukkah / Kwanzaa / Easter gifts!Estimated delivery:Add $20 USD to ship outside the US
Pledge $35 or moreYou selected
You're gonna get a whole box full of these ridiculous cards! (There may even be multiple designs!!!) How many? TOO MANY! We're gonna just grab a big handful and shove them in a box for you. If you run into that many problem parkers, you need to move to another city! We'll ship em in October. Just in time to store them for 3 months to give away as Christmas / Hanukkah / Kwanzaa / Easter gifts!Estimated delivery:Add $20 USD to ship outside the US
Pledge $100 or moreYou selected
24 backers Limited (76 left of 100)
The super gift pack! We'll send 3 boxes of these delightful cards to you so you can give some to your Mother, your boss, and all the other exciting people you know! PLUS, we'll throw in a bonus signed photo of Cali Lewis! That's right - she doesn't know it yet... but she's definitely gonna do it! :-)Estimated delivery:Add $35 USD to ship outside the US
Pledge $1,000 or moreYou selected
It seemed like we should just have another reward level! So, pledge $1,000 and come hang out with Cali and John P. at the Livid Lobster HQ in Dallas for an entire weekend! Oh, and you'll get just a whole heap O' cards! You've got to get yourself here, and pay for your own hotel and all those other nasty little travel related expenses. But once you're here we'll show you the Texas hospitality! We'll go get an amazing steak, eat some awesome Mexican food, BBQ, and hang out at the Livid Lobster studios and show you how we make the Geek Beat sausage! Maybe catch a movie... Before everyone comes out we'll figure out a cool agenda to make for a fun weekend. Why wouldn't you do this?Estimated delivery:
- (30 days)