Someone's gotta replace Oprah. Why not two chicks from Queens?
Have you ever wondered what would happen if Romy & Michele were from Queens? No? Read this anyway.
When born-and-bred Queens girls Doris Morjkvcz and Belinda Antinori find themselves unexpectedly unemployed after an unfortunate nail salon Staph incident, they decide to pursue their ultimate dream: become the next Ricki Lake. So what if they don't know how to use a camera? Or even own a camera? With their alcoholic sidekick Moira to referee their bickering, an aggressively ambitious film student to assist them, and a few favors from their idol, class of '99 prom queen Dina Caminitti, they set out to go from underachievers to superstars, one unintentionally hilarious video at a time.
Basically, it's broad and dumb and hilarious and dumb and clever but also dumb. In the best way possible.
THE WHO (The creative team, not the band)
"Doris and Belinda" was born when writer John Sundholm and actress Laura Frye found themselves yelling at each other in an outer-borough accent for no reason while stuck on the NJ Turnpike on the way home from Barack Obama's inauguration. (Please mention this when people ask, "What has Barack Obama even DONE in his first four years?" THIS, that's what. Plus other stuff. But mainly this.) Later, at the urging of "Girl Parts" creator Kelsey Robinson (and after she offered to co-produce for a scandalous pittance), a diabolical plan was hatched: to create the world's most amazing, hilarious, life-altering webseries yet.
And we would be remiss in not mentioning our mentor, our guru, our lodestar guiding us along this path with big sisterly advice, consulting producer Kimberly M. Wetherell.
So, to review, the who: John Sundholm; Laura Frye; Kelsey Robinson; a bit of Kimberly M. Wetherell sprinkled in; and Barack Obama.
"Doris and Belinda" is going to be what John calls "a before and after experience." There's your life before "Doris and Belinda." And then there's your life after "Doris and Belinda."
How can you say no to such transcendent personal catharsis? Who wouldn't want to experience this sort of epiphany? Crazy persons, that's who.
Also, something about the difficulties presented by the contemporary entertainment industry's challenging political and economic climate that ends on an inspirational note about independent film and television projects being the wave of the future, and stuff.
And if nothing else: this project contains a six-foot-tall Scandinavian man dressed as a lady. I mean...
Queens, obviously. Keep up.
Shooting this summer, premiering this fall!
We're incredibly blessed to have talented and accomplished friends and colleagues who believe deeply in this project and are willing to work for, like, pans of brownies and cases of beer. All we need is some scratch for the nuts and bolts--equipment rentals, locations, costumes, food, insurance, editing-- that go into making a shoot happen. We've crunched the numbers, and though it'll be tight, we know we can do this for just $5000. Really, we can!
So throw some pennies at us! (Not literally. A: This is over the internet, they won't hit us anyway; 2: You'll probably damage your computer screen.) Here's what you'll get in return:
1. Idiocy. The good kind.
2. A big, gumpy blond guy dressed as a lady.
3. A spunky yoga chick dressed...well, as a lady, but a really loud-mouthed Queens one with a penchant for leopard-print harem pants.
4. Kelsey Robinson fans get more Kelsey Robinson!
5. The warm, fuzzy feeling that you helped change the world. With Barack Obama.
6. The even warmer, fuzzier feeling that you supported women and members of the gay community in the arts, who might even go on a date with you! But probably not. But maybe!
7. Really cool prizes depending on how much you donate, including, but not limited to, our undying gratitude. Seriously. You have no idea how much we appreciate you even reading this far.
So do it! We promise you won't regret it! And if you do end up regretting it, we will publicly flog ourselves in the town square with that one thing that one guy whipped himself with in that one part of "The DaVinci Code."
And that's a promise.
Thank you for checking us out. We can't wait to make you point at your computer screen and be all like, "What a bunch of morons" and stuff!
With sincerest gratitude,
John, Laura and Kelsey
Have a question? If the info above doesn't help, you can ask the project creator directly.
pledged of $5,000 goal
seconds to go
Jun 11, 2012 - Jul 1, 2012
Pledge $1 or more
Undying gratitude. You're in our hearts forever, and ever, and ever. And ever. Cuz every dollar counts!Estimated delivery: Aug 2012
Pledge $10 or more
Undying gratitude, plus: Doris and Belinda will write you an original haiku (yes, we ripped this off from other campaigns. Imitation, sincerest form of flattery, etc.). Cherish it always!Estimated delivery: Sep 2012
Pledge $25 or more
2 backers All gone!
WED. JUNE 27 UNTIL 11:59 PM ONLY! Donate $25, increase your donation by $25 or refer another $25 donor and you will receive, in addition to the regular $25 incentive package described below, a handmade, autographed 12-month 2013 calendar featuring Doris and Belinda (and Moira!) in various low-rent, seasonally themed photos--one for each month. Imagine Doris's head photoshopped onto Baby New Year. Or Moira as an angry Christmas elf dumping whiskey into her hot cocoa. Or Belinda with pasties made of July 4 sparklers (that one won't happen, we don't have enough insurance, but you get the idea). Hang it in your cubicle in January and attract myriad scrunch-faced "WTF?" glances from your coworkers!Estimated delivery: Dec 2012
Pledge $25 or more
2 backers All gone!
TUES JUNE 26 ONLY! The regular $25 reward package PLUS: a special reward for Kelsey Robinson and "Fumbling Thru the Pieces" fans! Donate at least $25, refer a $25 donor or up your donation by at least $25 and receive YOUR CHOICE of an 8x10 SIGNED publicity still of Kelsey with the cast (signed by Kelsey); OR three SIGNED 4x6 "behind the scenes" shots of Kelsey and Hillary B. Smith (signed by Kelsey). Something to commemorate one of your favorite shows to thank you for helping make a new favorite come to fruition! You'll also receive the regular $25 reward package. (IMPORTANT: Please message us with your photo package preference--1 8x10, or 3 4x6's. Or, if you'd rather, don't specify and we'll choose for you! We also need to know if you referred/were referred by another donor. Thanks!)Estimated delivery: Jul 2012
Pledge $25 or more
All of the above, plus: a digital download of the entire series the week after the airing of the final episode, AND a shout-out in the credits! Your name in lights! Well, sort of. Pixels, as it were.Estimated delivery: Sep 2012
Pledge $25 or more
THURS JUN 28 UNTIL 11:59 EST ONLY! Donate, increase or refer $25 and (in addition to the regular $25 award package) Doris and Belinda will PERFORM the haiku in the $10 package ON DOWNLOADABLE VIDEO *AND* YOUTUBE for you to cherish always! Bwah! So dumb! It'll be like Maya Angelou performing personally for you except NOTHING like Maya Angelou performing personally for you! (Need help with increasing your donation? Go here! http://www.kickstarter.com/help/faq/backers#HowCanIChanMyPledAmou ... Would you rather your haiku NOT be on YouTube and only avail. by downloadable video? Just message us!)Estimated delivery: Sep 2012
Pledge $25 or more
4 backers All gone!
THURS. JUNE 21, 2012 UNTIL 11:59 EST ONLY! Donate $25 or REFER a $25 donor, and receive ONE DOZEN HANDMADE COOKIES by our consulting producer and professional baker (at Van Leeuwen bakery in Brooklyn!) Kimberly M. Wetherell! Mmm, cookies. Who doesn't love cookies? Trust us: YOU WANT THESE COOKIES! (You will also still receive the regular $25-level incentive package. Limit one dozen cookies per donor/referrer; cookies ship once project is fully funded. Please message us if you have any dietary allergies, and with the name of who referred you/your own name if you referred someone, if applicable. Thanks!)Estimated delivery: Jul 2012
Pledge $50 or more
All of the above, PLUS: be the first to see Episode 1! You'll get a digital download of our first episode in advance of its premiere, as well as access to some pretty sweet top-secret insider stuff coming up. (Trust us, it'll be a lot of fun!) Congrats, you've made it to our inner circle. Totes VIP.Estimated delivery: Sep 2012
Pledge $100 or more
All of the above, PLUS: an exclusive download of "The Making of 'Doris and Belinda'," giving you an equal parts fascinating and ridiculous peek behind the scenes of our little show--from meeting our crew members to watching Laura take John to his first leg waxing. And speaking of, to say an extra special thanks for making the three-digit commitment, we'll throw in a DVD copy of our consulting producer Kimberly M. Wetherell's documentary "Why We Wax," which she describes as "A hair-larious look at everything you wanted to know about bikini waxing, but were afraid to ask." Yowch! Filmmaking!Estimated delivery: Oct 2012
Pledge $250 or more
2 backers Limited (18 of 20 left)
All of the above, PLUS: be the first to see the entire first season! You'll receive a digital download of the entire first season in advance of the episode 1 premiere (be that guy that spoils the story for everyone else! mwah hahahaha!), a signed DVD of the entire first season, AND a visit to our set! (Shoot takes place in August. Transportation not included. We're not Richard Branson.) Can't make it to New York? Then we'll gather the cast and crew for a hello-how-are-ya via Skype! Eventually we as a people are all gonna stop interacting in person anyway. You'll be totally cutting edge!Estimated delivery: Oct 2012
Pledge $500 or more
1 backer Limited (3 of 4 left)
All of the above, PLUS: an associate producer credit AND--wait for it--a walk-on cameo in an episode of "Doris and Belinda"! HOLY SHI* YOU'RE FAMOUS! (Shoot takes place in August. Transportation not included. See above, re: Richard Branson). And you can join us at our premiere party (since you're now one of the cast and all!). Can't make it to New York? Then we'll discuss you (or your business, a person you love, your dog, the person you're currently stalking, etc.) in our dialogue! Your name, immortalized! Cheaper and easier than having a kid.Estimated delivery: Oct 2012
Pledge $1,000 or more
0 backers Limited (2 of 2 left)
All of the above, PLUS: a private screening party in your home with, Laura, John and the cast (as available), a signed, limited-edition DVD of the series (including behind the scenes footage, gag reel and other features), an invitation for you and a guest to hobnob with us at our cast/crew screenings, wrap and premiere parties, AND an Executive Producer credit. BOOM! You're a mogul with an IMDb page. (Shoot takes place in August. Also, transportation not included. See above, re: Richard Branson).Estimated delivery: Oct 2012