According to a recent blog post, 9 out of 10 doctors agree that fresh ears are the leading cause of poor taste in film, and would like to remind us that a decaying ear is a healthy ear. It stands to reason - look at any Hollywood movie premiere, and what do you see?
Ladies and Gentlemen, you may not be aware, but we're more than just filmmakers with a vested interest in promoting the refinement of the general public's taste in film. We're also some of the scummiest looking saints in this fair city, and as such, we've come up with a free solution for de-freshening and healthifying your ears with a strong dose of Rot.
Tune your noise receivers to Outside the Loop Radio, WLUW 88.7 FM at 10am on Thursday, 6/23 for an exclusive interview with the Rot crew. Their caustic insights will surely induce chemical reactions; feel the burn as your ears are slowly reduced to beautiful nubs, bursting with vigor, over the course of ten minutes.
Don't live in Chicago? Too bad. But you can still hear the interview after it airs by downloading Episode #248 of the Outside the Loop podcast from either their website or iTunes. Both are fine options, and are guaranteed to deliver a potent payload of Rot directly to your synapses.
It's a generous offering, but it's all in the name of health, and it still falls short of the altruism displayed by all of you, our backers. In an attempt to make our gesture commensurate with your own, we have decided to inform as many people as we can about the availability of this miraculous ear treatment. We hope you don't mind, but we think you will agree that it is the right thing to do.
See you at the premiere. No fresh ears allowed.
*WARNING - Hot ear flesh falling from your head may contaminate areas of the body that are not intended to be de-freshened. It is suggested that you only expose yourself to this treatment while holding a non-plastic bucket, or at the very least, leaning forward.