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Update #3: when you wake up from a fantastic dream, try to fall back asleep, but can't..
Well, it's like spending two years building what you think is an amazing-looking toy rocket that you want to have orbit the rings of saturn, researching aerodynamics, physics, astronomy, carving, sanding, painting, putting all your time and money into this one thing, even borrowing money from strangers who believe that you will make something great.
And then when the day finally comes that you light the fuse, you tell all your friends and neighbors to come watch, and you have a party with free food and drinks. And everyone says how good it looks and how great it's going to fly, and so you try to launch it into space, but it only goes six inches in the air and flops back to the ground. No flames or explosion even, just a little smoke that is quickly blown away by a breeze.
And by the time you turn around, you see that most people had wandered off, and those that stayed weren't even paying attention anyway. But when people leave they still say "cool party" and "you got to give me the recipe for that banana pudding" and "that's an awesome rocket," but you're still left having to clean up all the napkins and bottles. And the rocket is just laying there on the ground.
So do you leave it and hope someone will find it and enjoy it? Do you bring it back home and rebuild it and try to launch it again and hopes it works better and people will pay attention?
And does it make everything okay when a few people tell you they had a great time at the rocket launch? That fond memories will be had of that day for the rest of many people's lives?
It's very confusing, and I've been trying to ignore it and remember what being alive and human felt like by traveling, and working, and eating meals with friends, and watching children perform Shakespeare and applying to grad schools (and getting rejected by them because I have never figured out how to not give honest answers to dry questions).
Oh, I hoped it would turn out differently. I really wanted to tour. But I'm attempting to accept that what's happening is what's happened, and attempting to figure out what to do with the hope that it will eventually work out because having that kind of dream really tends to get in the way of an already-unbearable 8-hour workday (I had a friend who worked at Ace hardware with the drummer from Metal Church, so surely it should be much easier for me to tuck in my tail than it was for that dude).
So I will be trying trying my veryvery best to figure out how to convince myself that a few hundred people having a good time enjoying my hard work is better than zero this summer. Also, I will be taking naps at the beach and searching for the best halo-halo (my favorite filipino desert that I highly recommend you try if you haven't).
Thank you for supporting my fantasy world! Hope everyone is a-okay.
Update #2: How much is a dollar worth (x 5709 - 5% -4105-120-337.79)?
For backers only,
Posted on December 16, 2009
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Update #1: We did it! We did it together! Yaaaaay!
For backers only,
Posted on November 16, 2009
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Funding Successful
This project successfully raised its funding goal on November 11, 2009.
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A donation of one dollar or more establishes a "friends forever" status between you and I (sealed in digital blood). You will also be kept in the loop with blogs/vlogs/podcasts, and will receive a personal thank you message for you kindness.
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(same as above) + a digital download of our first album, "as an ex-anorexic's six sicks exit" (including legible lyrics and a never-before-read-by-anyone story I couldn't afford to include in the original liner notes).
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(same as above) + receive an mp3 of an early analog transfer of the new album, 'craving to be coddled so we feel fake-safe' (including lyrics and essay) + receive the limited-edition, minimalist "coloring book" promo Cd version when it is pressed (you have the option of me coloring it for you, or leaving it blank for you to color yourself)!
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(same as above), but instead of the minimalist album, you will receive the deluxe storybook version packaged in vintage, lovingly hand-made, repurposed children's book with vegetable ink'd recycled pages full of lyrics, illustrations, stories, and more!
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(same as above) + you will be personally thanked in the liner notes of the album.
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(same as above) + you will be mentioned by name in a very special "thank-you" song at the end of "craving to be coddled..."
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(same as above) + you will receive a framed, hand-made, personalized work of art which I hope will make you happy each time you see it (put it on your refridgerator/school locker/ office cubicle/jail cell wall/mental hospital nightstand/use it to replace the picture of your ex-boy/girlfriend)!
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(same as above) + be my snail-mail pen-pal for all of 2010 where -- although you can write to me as little or as often as you'd like -- I promise to write back to you at least one letter per month, thoughtfully responding to whatever it is you would like to discuss with plenty of drawings and illustrations in the margin, and sending you postcards from on tour (I would be glad to do all this for free if I had the time)!
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(same as above) + I will record a cover version of any song you'd like + send you a video of the process including a final performance.
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(same as above) + we will play that song especially dedicated to you when we next tour in your hometown (if you want, we can even see to it that a chair is brought out for you to sit on and a spotlight is shone on you?)!
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Pledge $1,500 or more
(same as above) + we will play the song written for you as part of a personal concert at a venue of your choosing (park district band shell? vfw hall? laundrymat? beach party? campfire sing-a-long? parent's rumpus room?) AND we will write a part for you to play along with (if you play an instrument or would like to sing. If not, don't fret, you can turn the knobs to one of our various noise-making devices! Oh, and you pick the setlist too!)!
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(same as above) + you will receive a hand-made, "lifetime honorary band member" card. This card will entitle you and a friend to never have to pay to see us live, always receive a very special thank you in everything we ever do, always receive advanced copies of everything we ever make for free (and since I plan on living for another 70+ years, I think this is a pretty good deal)!
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COVER SONG SLUMBER PARTY! (all the above) + a faulty chromosome will create for you your own personal hoot night, playing 10 cover songs of your choice live at a slumber party at your house where we will stay up all night playing video games, giving each other makeovers, telling ghost stories, and prank-calling cute boys!
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(same as above) + a faulty chromosome will record an album of those songs!
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(all the above) + I will make the next proper a faulty chromosome album be an ep inspired by the story of your life. I will come to where you live, spend the weekend with you, interview you, meet your family, look at old photos and home movies, visit friends and places of importance from your life, and take notes on your hopes and dreams the entire time (please, oh please somebody do this because I would really enjoy it?!)!
Project By
Connected as Eric Danke (163 friends)
A faulty chromosome is what I named my music on account of people asking me "what are you, retarded or something?" all the time. I do things quite differently than most, I suppose, but I don't think I'm retarded. I don't think anyone is retarded, it's just that people have been tricked by the media into believing that there actually is such a thing as "normal" to be achieved that -- when something "abnormal" is presented to them -- they don't quite know how to process it, and make fun of it, or give it abstract labels like "weird" or "quirky" without really thinking about what that implies...
The music is a slopbucket of sing-sung-alongable-songs full of fuzz and tremolo, sock-hop hand-claps, 8-bit blips, water-damaged photographs of your 8th birthday, mashed casio chords, collapsing guitars, and drum machine'd beats all bundled up in a warmish childhood memory of hiding underneath your grandma's kitchen table in 1989 watching an episode of Mister Rogers with her overweight cocker spaniel (what was his name? keebo? keeno?).
People have called it "loser-pop" or "hip-plop" or "jangle-slop" or "lo-fi-college-rock" or "shoegaze-bop." I think those are all very cute names, but I don't know, I just try to make happy and hopeful songs that sound good to me? I guess the point is that -- because there are so many different influences mooshed together in each song (pavement + xtc + freestyle fellowship + buddy holly + nirvana + new kids on the block + new order + sun ra = one song) -- it doesn't fit very nicely in any genre...
We have snuck our way onto bills with acts like: Dan Deacon, Atlas Sound, The Radio Dept, the Vivian Girls, HEALTH, Rose Melberg, Ariel Pink, Half Japanese, and other such-sounding indie heartthrobs (I'm not trying to impress you or anything, because I'm sure none of those bands even took the time to watch us play, but just so you have some sort of frame of reference).
Last year our first album, "as an ex-anorexic's six sicks exit," came out and I tried very hard to get people to know who we were by paying a promotions company money I didn't have to harass people into listening to it, and we toured a lot, and -- though we met a lot of nice, new friends, and many people told me they liked the songs a lot -- I still ended up losing a lot of money, and we still can't make music a full-time career....
If you'd like, you can hear a lot of the older songs at the links below. I think they're pretty good songs, but I was still really afraid and confused then, so sometimes I mumble and you can't even tell what I'm singing about. I tried to do a better job about that for this new album. I hope you will get to hear them soon and tell me what you think?
thank you for building the rocket. i'd prefer it to be here, where i can enjoy it, instead of floating out in space anyway :P
The rings of Saturn will be waiting patiently for your hand-made rocket when you light the fuse one more time ;)