70k Update!
WOOH! Well, it was very close on the votes last time. But, by my count, it's time we all went to the psybrary. Enjoy!
* * *
You had assumed the psybrary was a high tech way to download information directly into your brain. Turns out it's a cute name for the kids' section of a regular library. Just to be certain, you talk to the sweet middle aged lady in overalls and pigtails who works the front desk.
With the kind of smile that usually accompanies a repressed urge to murder, murder, and murder a third time, she explains that you can indeed download information directly into your brain… through your eyes… by reading!
She tells you reading is an adventure. You flick her off, tell her her face is an adventure, then walk away. “Nice one,” you mutter to yourself.
Then you notice something strange. All the children here are popping ADHD medication like clockwork every 5 minutes. And not only are they constantly using drugs, it seems like their mothers aren't even watching them!
If you seize the opportunity to beat one up and take his delicious drugs, go to 36.
If you suck it up, read your books, and take the damn test, go to 64.
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Jun 25, 2012 -
Jul 25, 2012
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- 2 created · 4 backed
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HIGH-FIVE: You'll get a digital copy of the book when it comes out.
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THE FRIENDS PACK: You'll get a SIGNED paperback copy of Trial of the Clone + a digital copy. For international donors, please donate at least $30 total to accommodate shipping.
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THE BEST FRIENDS PACK: You'll get a SIGNED limited edition hardcover copy of Trial of the Clone + a digital copy. International donors please donate at least $60 total to accommodate shipping.
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THE ARTIST PACK: Everything in the Ultra-Collector's Pack + Zach will dedicate & draw a doodle in your book. International donors please donate at least $280 total to accommodate shipping.
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THE YOU-GET-OUR-BANNER... PACK: Everything in the Tycoon Pack + we will give you an actual SMBC banner used for recent conventions, signed.
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THE ESCORT PACK: Everything in the Tycoon Pack + Zach will come to your university/bookstore/club and do a complete reading/book signing. Limited to the lower 48 US states, and we'll even cover airfare within reason.
Estimated delivery: Feb 2013
Comments
Creator Oleg on July 16, 2012
Do drugs!
Creator David Clarke on July 12, 2012
Nice picture Zach. Really channelling your inner John Waters, I see.
Creator CamCam on July 11, 2012
Give a kid a kicking!
Creator michele on July 10, 2012
just drugs!
Creator michele on July 10, 2012
just drugs!
Creator Zach Weiner on July 10, 2012
282 pages
Creator Top on July 10, 2012
Ordinarily, this would be an easy decision, as easy as taking candy from a distracted baby. But in this case, ADHD stands for anti-dereversed happiness disorder, and figuring out what the effect of the medication would be is too much for my brain addled by years of playing video games, downloading porn, and videoing downloaded porn games.
Fortunately, the solution is staring me right in the face. This month's featured display in the psybrary lobby is a prototype of the original thought transference module, an iridescent headband of weineredium and aluminum foil. Keeping an eye out for the psybrarian, I pull the carnivorous-giant-lemming alarm, and in the ensuing panic I use my soldering gun to melt off the display case lock and steal the TTM.
The TTM's a bit tight, but then I've always had a high opinion of myself. I grab one of the ADHD kids and stare into his eyes. He stops struggling and I start absorbing his knowledge, hoping he'll at least know what his drugs do.
To my surprise, I discover he's a prodigy and is already a third year grad student at the university. In engineering. (In the future, all engineering specialties have been merged into a single field.) This is a chance for me to turn my life around! I eagerly slurp up years' worth of highly organized engineering knowledge. You know, I think I could do really well in those finals! I'm learning about electrospace mechanics, quantum linearization, and...and...and...hey, those drugs really are delicious!
Creator Chris Cowles on July 9, 2012
As a librarian I must go with #64. And can we get a page count on the actual book, as for me it makes a difference if I go paperback or hardback? Mostly due to a wear and tear concerns.
Creator Finn on July 9, 2012
36! Pop that kid then pop them pills!
Creator Cade Kachelmeier on July 9, 2012
You're an engineer. Suck it up and study like a real man. 64
Creator Vincent on July 9, 2012
Suck it up, 64!
Creator Kathrin Brogli on July 9, 2012
64! Just to see how the story gets twisted again...
Creator Gabriel Nichols on July 9, 2012
36
Creator Petter Nyman on July 9, 2012
36
Creator Christopher "DarkWolfNine" Muzatko on July 9, 2012
64
Creator Anthony Reed on July 9, 2012
64
Creator Jeremy on July 9, 2012
64
Creator Jaime Robertson on July 9, 2012
64
Creator Salvador Navarro on July 9, 2012
36
Creator Oscar Lai on July 9, 2012
36!!!!!!
Creator Alex on July 8, 2012
Drugs!
Creator Paul Haworth on July 8, 2012
64 you can come back for the drugs later if needs be.
Creator Stephen Whitford on July 8, 2012
Remembering those years in the orphanage, I sympathise with the neglected children and leave them to their drug-fuelled fun. Do some reading - 64
Creator Megan Wolfgram on July 8, 2012
DRUGS!
Creator HTrig, Bowman of the Obsidian Order on July 8, 2012
Children need proper supervision and should be shielded from drug use, beating one to a pulp is simply the best way to teach that to the kids mother :D - 36
Creator _Zed_ on July 8, 2012
drugs - 36
Creator Benjamin Burnes on July 8, 2012
Do it legit and fail in the process! 64 :D
Creator Pierre Blanchet on July 8, 2012
Hey kid !! gimme yer drugs !! 36 !
Creator Noah Wexo on July 8, 2012
36
Creator Drew on July 8, 2012
64
Creator Thomas Moore on July 8, 2012
I would have said 64 but you informed me the drugs are, in fact, delicious.
36 it is then!
Creator Gabriel Fernandez on July 8, 2012
I can play nice at home, this story ends soon. so live fast and die young! I mean, Die, young, die! thats what i say while I take his drugs!
Creator Daniel on July 8, 2012
36, definitely!
Creator Stephen Aslett on July 8, 2012
64
Creator Rachel on July 8, 2012
36!
Creator Patrick on July 8, 2012
36!
Creator Christian Montoya on July 8, 2012
I am a loser, so 64.
Creator Aleksanderpwnz on July 8, 2012
Too late for traditional study methods. 36.
Creator James Hastie on July 8, 2012
Just Say No.... to studying. 36.
Creator Kapol on July 8, 2012
We will fail the test without drugs. So let's go to 36 and beat up some innocent children for drugs.
Creator Ammar Khalid on July 8, 2012
Go to page 36 and take some sweet, sweet drugs.
Creator Roxane Tourigny on July 8, 2012
I'll go for page 64
Creator Tychoxi on July 8, 2012
It's only via page 64 that we shall find true, satisfying success.
Creator Hugh Enxing on July 8, 2012
You pussed out and didn't murder your professor, look how that turned out for you. Go do some drugs.
Creator Eran Weiss on July 8, 2012
drugs!
Creator Bevin Cheng on July 8, 2012
DRUGS ARE BAD M'KAY.
Which is exactly why we should be taking them. Beat some kids up! 36!
Creator Richard Kempter on July 8, 2012
64, don't get arrested.
Creator Darklord on July 8, 2012
64!
Creator Cameron Wilhelm on July 8, 2012
36!
Creator Keith on July 8, 2012
Drugs!