Kickstarter

Well, hello there. How 'bout that weather today, huh? Hopefully you've just finished watching our teaser trailer, and you're not scratching your head wondering how something so awful got approved by Kickstarter. Since we've got your attention, let's continue the fun with an in-depth FAQ:

What exactly is "In-House" about? In-House is a feature-length comedy written & directed by Ryan McDonough (never heard of him). The film is about a young couple getting ready to move from Chicago to San Diego for a year. A few days before they leave, they invite a handful of friends over for a going away party...........and that's all you're going to get.

Who is starring in it? Nobody you've ever heard of. But without question, they're going to make you laugh. Next question.

Can you give us a "Hollywood Pitch" of what to expect from the film? If you insist.....Take the party concept of Can't Hardly Wait, with a guest list the size of The Breakfast Club, and an intertwining plot in the vein of Seinfeld. In other words, be prepared to pay attention and laugh.

What have you actually done so far? In addition to our teaser, the script has been written & completed since January. Our production crew includes cinematographer Jamin Townsley, who was also the D.P. of this teaser. Jamin has not only worked on a number of feature films, but has also worked on high-end projects for A&E, BMW, and the Chicago Cubs. Also, to prove that this film is Real Deal Holyfield, we currently have $15,000 allocated for our budget.  Now, even though it's possible to stretch our current allotment to make the film work, every extra penny will help. Having a little more flexibility can only enhance the final product, which is the most important thing.

Does the guy in the video really look like that? Sadly, yes. He actually owns that shirt and tie.

What distinguishes you from all the other Kickstarter projects? Other than a really tan co-star, we have an extremely focused grasp of what we're doing. Our cast & crew are working in unison towards the same goal: To create a comedy that will make audiences laugh their a$$*$ off. At the same time, we are working to push the limits of our capabilities and aesthetics. Don't expect Avatar, but we want our film to look & sound as if it cost twice the amount of our final budget. In addition, we are absolutely swinging for the fences on this project. You're not donating to someone's hobby or to a "trial and error" process of film making. In order, here are our principal goals:

-Make one the funniest, most enjoyable films you've seen in recent memory.

-Deliver a product worthy of our donations & investors.

-Get accepted into Film Festivals all over the country (South by Southwest, Sundance, Chicago International Film Festival, etc.)

-Work under the assumption that this film is being released in 2,500 theaters (Of course, that'll never happen. But point being....don't settle for "close enough." Make it great.)

How do I donate? It's very simple. Just click on the "back this project" box on the upper right, and it takes about 1 minute. Or I suppose you can drop millions of dollars from an airplane right over my apartment building. Whichever is easier.

Where exactly is the money going? Every penny from your donations will be spent to make the film better. Think of us like an intelligent owner of a sports team: All of the team's profit goes back into the payroll, which in turn helps put a winning team together. See what I'm saying? Here are where your donations will be allocated to:

-Filming "In-House" on the brand new Red Scarlet camera                           (capable of capturing 4K cinema)

-Camera dollies, cranes & film permits

-Music licensing & sound effects to enhance the film experience

-State-of-the-art post-production software

-Registration fees into the misc. film festivals

.....and I suppose if anything's left, we'll donate it to human cloning or something. Just kidding. But seriously....

You've got one last chance to convince me: Why should I donate to your movie? It's very simple: We filmed the teaser trailer specifically to show you what we're made of. If you found the teaser entertaining, and you're genuinely intrigued to see the final product, we'd sincerely appreciate any donation you can give. If you think it sucks; no harm, no foul. Don't donate.