Kickstarter

You get an email from me thanking you, with an emoticon of your choosing.

ADDED FOR DOUBLE-BACKERS who want an extra prize, and for those of you just tuning in. You get a (probably inappropriate) postcard from me thanking you for your help, handwritten and probably doodled on by me personally.

You get the completed EP, signed, as well as the satisfaction of knowing you pledged more than the bare minimum $5 lowest accepted amount. You care more about independent artists than those people.

You get a video thank-you from me for supporting my awesome music, available only to backers, in which I will be wearing a variety of hats and glue-on facial hair. You will also get a copy of the EP on CD, signed by me while wearing a monocle. You won't see the part where I sign your CD while wearing a monocle, but rest assured, that's what's happening behind the scenes.

For less than the cost of a decent pair of pants, you get a hand-drawn thank you note from me, featuring the animal of your choice wearing the hat of your choice. Want a thank-you llama in a sombrero? A penguin in a top hat? You got it. Plus the rewards above including the video and autographed cd. AND I'll throw in an UNRELEASED TRACK that is ONLY available to backers.

You will get everything above-the EP, video, unreleased track, and drawing- PLUS a mix CD from me of music I think you'll really like based on our lasting friendship and feelings for each other, with hand-drawn (and probably jared-leto-as-jordan-catalano-themed) cover art. BFFs 4-EVA!

You get a handmade Polly Ammo poster, unique and only available to backers, painted and inked by me just for you, as well as all the rewards above.

You get a 20 minute Skype or video chat hang-out with me, in which I play you some songs and you tell me how great I am. We can also talk about your horrible boss, and how cute your cats are. Whatever! Nothing is off limits! You can tell me about your childhood. Maybe I'll write a song about it. PLUS everything above (except the poster).

For this you will get a DVD of me and a bunch of the people involved in this record, talking about the engineering, production, songwriting... and if that isn't interesting to you, they'll also be saying hi to you, and thanking you for helping to feed their families during this tough economic downturn. You will ALSO get EVERYTHING above, including the handmade poster. You ALSO get glossy behind-the-scenes photos of recording sessions with producer Chris Kuffner, as part of a lovely care package including several unreleased tracks by Polly Ammo that are ONLY available to backers who are as wealthy and discerning as you are.

If you're within a 5 hour drive of Portland, OR, or you are a train ride away from NYC: I will come to your house and make you and your loved ones dinner*. I will bring the drinks/soda and a lovely bouquet of flowers that I will hand pick on my way to your house. I will entertain you with stories of my college shenanigans while we listen to 90s music on my ipod. We will become best friends. *Dinner will be either grilled cheese or something involving eggs since that is all I can cook. **Also everything above, hand delivered to you by me.

We will play a show in your house/apartment/local bar, buy drinks for you and all your friends, INVITE YOU ONSTAGE to play/sing with me and the band, tell everyone how great we think you are, and sleep on your floor or couch. Then we'll buy you breakfast and hang out with you, seeing the sights and generally being entertaining. *Limited to North America or Western Europe.

You have funded my project. You get to pick my next tattoo. I am being totally serious. As long as it's not a trademark, cartoon character, or obscene. You pick it, I ink it. I'll get the whole thing on video and credit you for the idea, and post it on the internet. Come on, this is totally worth the money.